“One day you will wake up 
and there won’t be any more time 
to do the things you’ve 
always wanted. 
Do it now.”
Paulo Coelho

Have you ever noticed how glowingly people speak of a person after that person has died? I’ve attended no small number of wakes, funerals, and memorial services in my lifetime. It is heartwarming to hear so many laudatory remarks from family and friends about the decedents. Often the stories shared by grievers lead me to believe that the process of canonization should be initiated immediately! At times, however, I am left to wonder about the words being spoken. It is not that the person for whom the service is being held is in any way unworthy of such favorable praise. I just can’t help but wonder if the person who died ever heard such expressions of love, affection, and appreciation while they were alive.

It is so easy to take people for granted. I know. I do it quite often. It is also, it seems, somewhat difficult for many of us to tell others directly how much we love them and how grateful we are for their presence in our lives. I’ve never understood why doing so creates such awkwardness in us, but, for many, it does. It’s so much easier, it seems, to tell other people, a third party, how much someone means to us. Expressing our gratitude directly to the person who should hear it can make us feel uncomfortable. 

Maybe it’s this awkwardness, in part, that fuels the tradition of gift-giving for birthdays and special holidays. Perhaps we believe that giving that perfect gift communicates the love and appreciation we have for that person, making it unnecessary to put those feelings into words. Using gifts, rather than words, can feel so much safer, and leave us feeling less vulnerable.

While I have not fully mastered this art myself, one of the most powerful life lessons I’ve learned is the importance using my words to directly express my love and appreciation for a particular individual. It is true that one of the greatest gifts we can give someone is to thank them for being a part of our life. We must develop the courage to do so.

The option to wait for a person to die before expressing our love and affection to them is certainly available to us, but do we really want to wait for the person’s wake, funeral, or memorial service to do so? I hope not. Perhaps the best way to develop a true appreciation of someone who is still with us is to imagine our life without them. This strategy might motivate us to begin expressing our love and gratitude now — while we still can. 

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To see previous Beacon of Light articles, click HERE.