A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • You Matter!

    “It is in  
    our hands  
    to make a  
    difference.”      
    Nelson Mandela

    Finding meaning in life often comes from recognizing our impact on others. Throughout my professional career, I found meaning in the work I did as an educator. I honestly believe that, despite my imperfections, I made a positive impact on the lives of most of my students. 

    It’s not enough to simply live. Nelson Mandela pointed this out when he said, “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”

    Making a difference is not just the purpose of our work. It is the purpose of our lives. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “The purpose of life is to be useful… to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

    Finding meaning in one’s life can be a bit more challenging during the retirement years. No longer do we have the measuring stick of our jobs to validate that we are somehow contributing to the world in which we live. Surely, there must be other ways we can do this. Thankfully, there are.

    The challenge begins with the question of what kind of difference we want to make,… and to whom? Jane Goodall told us, “What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” Bingo! Yes, what we do does make a difference, but is that difference positive or negative? 

    In his bestselling book, Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom shares a pearl of wisdom he learned from his former college professor, Morrie Schwartz: “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

    I’ve been retired for a little more than eleven years now. In those years, I have continued to write articles for this blog. I have written and published seven books. As a result of the books, I have received invitations to speak on the topic of gratitude at schools, libraries, churches, retirement communities, and a Young Authors Book Festival. I’ve facilitated two retreats, one for nurses at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford, the other for the faculty and staff of Saint Leo the Great School in San José. And I was invited to be the keynote speaker for the YMCA Youth Development Leadership Conference in Morgan Hill. 

    More importantly, I have made a conscientious effort to nurture the relationships in my life — with family, friends, neighbors, and people I’ve recently met. In this way, I know that despite my stage in life, I am committed to making a positive difference in the lives of others. The sense of meaning this provides for me is incalculable.

    News anchor Tom Brokaw summed it up succinctly when he said, “To make a buck is easy. It’s a lot tougher to make a difference.”  

  • Sunday

    “A Sunday  
    well-spent  
    brings a week  
    of content.”
    English Proverb

    My Sunday was well-spent yesterday. This is not to say that other Sundays have been wasted, just that yesterday was one of the better ones. I woke up early, drove to San Francisco, and spent a good part of the day visiting with friends at Java Beach Café on Judah Street. Despite being somewhat overcast, the air temperature was noticeably warmer than a normal Sunset District morning.

    So what, exactly, made the day so special? For starters, I ordered a breakfast burrito and hot chocolate. Then I met Marco and Carla, who were visiting The City from their home in Monterrey, Mexico. They were enjoying a breakfast burrito at a table next to me. At one point in our conversation, Carla asked me if I am still working or if I’m retired. I explained that I was an educator for many years and that now, in my retirement, I write. This caught her attention. Carla is a professor in the School of Education at a prestigious university in Monterrey. She prepares her students for careers in the teaching profession. I’m always amazed at the awesome people I meet at Java Beach.

    After a while, Pat Maguire, the owner of Java Beach, walked in. We had a quick visit before he got his own breakfast burrito and took it to the back room to do some work. The flow of customers coming in the front door was non-stop.

    My friend, Kalia, from Hawaii stopped by for a burrito, as well. We enjoyed a nice conversation, catching up on each other’s lives. It had been several months since we last ran into each other at the coffee shop. Then Beatrice, a neighbor who lives down the street, and her little dog, Buffy, dropped in for a visit. 

    I had a nice chat with Luis. He works in the kitchen preparing all the meals, including all those amazing breakfast burritos. A short while later, Mike Flaherty walked through the front door. He’s a big guy, also a Sunset District native, who provided security for Pat when they had the grand opening of Java Beach back in 1993. He and Pat have been lifelong friends. I always enjoy my conversations with Mike.

    A while later, Ted, the handyman, walked into Java Beach with his dog. Ted just happened to be at 7-11 around the corner from Java Beach after midnight one night when someone decided to throw a rock through the window of the coffee shop. Pat called him. In a stroke of luck, he had a board in the back of his truck which turned out to be the exact dimensions of the window frame. He secured the building for the night.

    Just before I left Java Beach to return home, Tom arrived with his guitar. Tom was a window guy. The morning after Ted put the temporary fix on the broken window, Pat called Tom to see if he might be able to replace the window that day. It was a Sunday. Tom was standing in line at Java Beach when the call came in. Pat told him about the window. He acknowledged that he had seen it when he arrived. He told Pat that he had an extra window in his truck that he thought might fit in the frame. It did. Perfectly. In less than twelve hours, the repair job was done. 

    Normally, I would have stayed to listen to Tom play and sing for a while, but I was ready to head home. Quite regularly, Tom sets up a chair outside the front door of the coffee shop and serenades anyone who will listen — and lots of people listen. He’s an accomplished musician. More often than not, a few other local musicians join him for an afternoon gig. The music is yet another feature that adds to the unique ambiance of Java Beach.

    As I drove back to San José, the temperature outside slowly increased from 65º in The City to 89º in Cupertino. I spent the remainder of the afternoon reading in our patio.

    Yes, my Sunday was well-spent, and yes, I feel quite content today.

  • < Yawn! >

    “The more words 
    you use, 
    the less you 
    actually say.” 
    Jefferson Fisher

    It’s Sunday morning! I hope you have some exciting plans for your day. If, by chance, your Sunday schedule includes attending a church service, I hope you have the opportunity to experience a thoughtful, provocative, and inspiring homily.

    I never take a good homily for granted. One reason for this is that good homilies are not the norm in Catholic churches. Every now and then, a well-prepared, well-delivered reflection on the Scriptures of the day leaves me wanting more. These tend to be homilies which do not exceed 8 to 10 minutes and which reflect awareness of the everyday lives of those attending the church service.

    Sadly, on most Sundays when I attend Mass, the homilist drones on and on, often with no reference whatsoever to the Scripture readings. I’ve recognized a pattern to many of these homilies: In the first five minutes, the homilist tells the assembly what he’s going to tell them. In the second five minutes, he tells them what he told them he would tell them; and in the third five minutes, he tells them what he already told them — using the phrase “My dear brothers and sisters in Christ…” when transitioning from one part to the next. I increase my chances of hearing an excellent homily exponentially when I attend Mass at Mission Santa Clara. 

    It’s been said that the less you speak, the more weight your words carry. This certainly seems to be true when it comes to homilies. By reducing repetition and unnecessary chatter, the homilist is better able to command greater respect and project more confidence.

    Pope Francis recommended that priests should limit their homilies to ten minutes. “After eight minutes,” he said, “preaching gets dispersive and no one understands.”

    In his 2013 apostolic exhortation, Evangelli Gaudium (which translates to “The Joy of the Gospel”), Francis wrote, “The homily is the touchstone for judging a pastor’s closeness and ability to communicate to his people. In fact, we know that the faithful attach a great importance to it, and that they often suffer… because the homily is boring, or because it lacks substance, or because it wanders off into generalities that have nothing to do with the people’s real lives.”

    Having taught in Catholic schools for more than forty years, I am well aware of the importance of classroom observations and evaluations. Catholic educators are expected to teach clearly, facilitate effectively, motivate appropriately, and communicate with students in a way that acknowledges who and where the students are educationally, developmentally, morally, personally, and spiritually. Catholic school administrators observe, both formally and informally, evaluate, and make recommendations where needed. This type of oversight seems to be missing when it comes to clergy giving homilies at liturgical celebrations.

    Poor homilies is just one of many contributing factors to the decline in church attendance in the new millennium. Perhaps it’s time for bishops to require formal, informal, and regular observation and evaluation of those preaching at Catholic liturgies.   

  • Just a Thought

  • A Package Deal

    “Self-acceptance is 
    without condition; 
    it means that you 
    accept yourself as is, 
    flaws and all.” 
    Heather Lonczak

    In the mid-1980’s, U.S. Catholic Magazine published an article titled “Cafeteria Catholicism: Do We Have to Eat Everything on Our Plate?” I was coordinating a young adult ministry program at a Catholic parish in Silicon Valley at the time. The title of this article fueled a lively and thoughtful Sunday night discussion on whether it was permissible for people to pick and choose which parts of the Catholic faith to agree with and which to ignore.

    In a similar way, women and men today are confronted with a more personal question: Is it healthy for us to accept only those parts of ourselves with which we are comfortable, and to reject the parts of ourselves that we don’t like and would like to disown?

    This is a challenge for many of us. While we want to take ownership of those things which make us feel good and which make us look good in the eyes of others, we often attempt to conceal the parts of ourselves that might be embarrassing or that we believe may result in others thinking less of us.

    I read an article yesterday in which the author stated, “Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like (about ourselves). It is necessary to face the whole picture.”

    It’s critical that we not allow ourselves to get into the habit of ignoring or concealing our faults and weaknesses. We need to avoid the trap of denial — acknowledging our weaknesses for what they are, and accepting ourselves entirely, imperfect though we may be. 

    Though it can be incredibly difficult for us to acknowledge certain things about ourselves, when we allow ourselves to identify our weaknesses and to embrace them as part of who we are, we will experience a level of serenity we might otherwise never enjoy. 

    Author Brené Brown said this about self-acceptance: “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” Wise words.

    American psychologist Tara Brach pointed out, “We don’t have to wait until we are on our deathbed to realize what a waste of our precious lives it is to carry the belief that something is wrong with us.”

    Life is not about attaining perfection. It’s about making progress. A reasonable, attainable goal for all of us would be to be a better person each day than we were the previous day.

    One day at a time.

  • Embracing Our Brokenness

    “Kintsugi  
    has transcended  
    mere repair  
    to touch upon  
    values  
    and ways of  
    holding your heart.” 
    Sho Takeshita

    The Japanese art of kintsugi, sometimes called kintsukuroi, is the practice of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold. As is illustrated in the photo above, kintsugi can turn a broken object into a masterpiece of art. The practice dates back to the 15th century, when a shogun broke a cherished bowl. He challenged Japanese craftsmen to find an aesthetically pleasing way to repair it. This challenge led to the creation of kintsugi.

    Penny Reid, an American bestselling author, is credited with writing one of the most famous modern quotes about this centuries-old Japanese art form. She wrote, “A break is something to remember, something of value, a way to make the piece more beautiful, rather than something to disguise. They used gold, not invisible superglue, because mistakes shouldn’t be considered ugly.”

    Kintsugi is not just a method for repairing pottery. It is also a philosophy based on the belief that damage, cracks, and repairs should not be hidden. Rather, they can become treasured and honored parts of an object’s history. By repairing the broken object in this way, the piece becomes more beautiful for having been broken.

    Kintsugi has a lesson for all of us. It teaches us how to live happily and gratefully after being broken. Life is not about erasing or hiding the scars we incur, but how we can become more beautiful by embracing those scars. The brokenness and repair are part of who we are, not something to be ashamed of or hidden from others.

    No one escapes the experience of brokenness, yet society often encourages us to hide our scars. Genuine healing from illness, disappointment, failure, broken relationships, or regret comes when we acknowledge our wounds and embrace them, instead of pretending they don’t exist. The painful experiences which once defined us can become valuable sources of wisdom, humility, empathy, and resilience. 

    The “gold” with which we, in our brokenness, are repaired can come in many forms: love and support from family and friends; faith and spirituality; forgiveness; counseling or therapy; recovery and healing communities, or a focus on gratitude. While none of these things can erase the cracks, they all have the ability to transform them into opportunities for growth.

    We are not beautiful despite our brokenness. Like a kintsugi masterpiece, we can become more beautiful because our healing has transformed the brokenness of our lives into stories of hope and resilience we can share with others.

    All of this invites us to ask ourselves: What cracks in our own lives have become places where compassion, wisdom, or gratitude now shine like gold? 

  • And That’s Okay!

    “Parting is such
    sweet sorrow.” 
    William Shakespeare

    As we grow older, one of the more difficult facts of life we learn to accept is that not every relationship is meant to last forever. It seems to be fairly common that people write others out of their lives for a variety of reasons. Some of those reasons are quite valid. Others, maybe not so much. Either way, it happens,… and when it does, letting go can be an act of self-respect.

    People change over time. Life circumstances do, too. People’s values and priorities evolve through the years, occasionally leading to the demise of a relationship. When this happens in our lives, being angry or holding a grudge is pointless. Our task at times like this is to protect our own emotional and spiritual well-being and allow the other person to move on.

    Every relationship teaches us something. Most help us come to a better understanding of ourselves. In time, we are better equipped to recognize which of our relationships are truly healthy for us, and which are not. We also have the opportunity to come to a better appreciation for those who truly support us, even when we’re going through difficult times.

    For these reasons, it’s best to view the end of a relationship as an opportunity for growth, rather than a personal failure, rejection, or with indifference.

    It’s been said that the kindest chapter we can write, for ourselves and for others, is the one in which we gently detach with love, let go, and turn the page.

    And that’s an acceptable thing to do!

  • On Happiness

  • Panda-monium!

    “Getting together  
    as a family is a  
    great way to  
    reinforce bonds  
    that have existed  
    for generations.”

    Today was “family day” at the pool. Kathy and I thoroughly enjoyed having all three of our boys, along with all five grandkids with us for an afternoon of swimming and snacks. Steve’s wife, Morgan, was able to join us, too. After four hours at the pool, I think we will all sleep well tonight.

    American journalist Christopher Morley once wrote, “Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.” I have been blessed with an overabundance of happy moments in my life, and even now, I continue to experience them. Certainly, there have been challenging times in the lives of us all, but that’s to be expected. The secret to overall happiness is to focus on the blessings, rather than the hardships.

    Happiness isn’t something we randomly find. It’s something we create. As President Abraham Lincoln once said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”

    There are two tasks I try to accomplish every day before I get out of bed: (1) to be grateful the many gifts with which I’ve been blessed, and (2) to make a conscious decision to be happy each day. Some days are easier than others, but whether my day turns out to be good or bad depends mostly on my own attitude and outlook on life, rather than the myriad things I experience throughout the day. 

    As author Roy T. Bennett pointed out, “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”


    “Spending time with family  
    is not a task,  
    it’s a gift.”

  • A Different Vibe

    “America celebrated
    together at 200. 
    We won’t at 250.”
    John Mark Hansen

    The day is upon us — the semiquincentennial (meaning half of a 500-year anniversary) of the United States of America. At this point in our nation’s history, I question whether we should continue to use the word “united” to describe our country. Clearly, we’re not.

    I recall that in the months, weeks, and days leading up to the bicentennial of the USA in 1976, there was a tangible sense of excitement and national pride. Even though America faced partisan division and economic challenges at that time, as we do today, the 200th anniversary of our nation inspired a unified, grassroots celebration. As we mark the 250th anniversary of our country today, the polarization in our government and communities is exponentially worse. 

    Political scientist John Mark Hansen recently pointed out, “The vibe at 250 is completely different from the feeling at 200. We still had a sense of oneness then. We no longer do.” Hanson went on to say that amid “major crises of confidence about national values, vices, and virtues,” partisan polarization is significantly higher today than it was fifty years ago. 

    It seems that the current anniversary of our nation is overshadowed by Trump-centered pageantry. The president’s attempts to honor the birthday of our country seems to be more about him — the wrestling match on the White House lawn, demolishing parts of the White House, his attempt to build a triumphal arch in Washington, D.C., despite the disapproval of a majority of Americans. Trump also seems hell-bent on slapping his name or image on just about anything: Washington’s Dulles Airport, New York’s Penn Station, the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, the United States Institute of Peace, and the new stadium for the Washington Commanders professional football team, to name a few. He also wants his image on national park passes and a new $250 bill. 

    For those of us who remember the excitement of the bicentennial, the semiquincentennial is a complete bust. Throughout the nation, traditional celebrations of the 4th of July — parades, picnics, barbecues, and fireworks displays — will take place as they always do. Compared with the country’s 200th celebration, however, the 250th birthday feels like a total nonevent.