“It is not the finest wood 
that feeds the fire of Divine love, 
but the wood of the Cross.”
~ St. Ignatius of Loyola

Growing up in an Irish Catholic family, I heard many of the same pearls of wisdom being shared in households of faith across the globe. One of my mother’s favorite sayings, which she would verbalize when we happened upon a homeless person, a severely disabled person, or someone going through a particularly difficult time, was, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” Even at a young age, I understood the meaning of the statement. It’s a lesson etched in my mind… and my heart.

Another such lesson was echoed by my father, as well as my mother. The meaning is similar to the quote I just mentioned, but it is different enough to discuss. 

I’ve come across a quote on Facebook fairly often which rings true for all of us. In seeking the source of the quote, I found it attributed to Plato, Socrates, and Robin Williams. I’m sure there are many others who would like to claim ownership of these words:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet 
is fighting a battle 
you know nothing about.”

These are not the words I heard from my parents, but the meaning is quite similar. The wisdom my parents imparted on me was based on the experience of Good Friday — Jesus carrying his cross to Calvary. I heard these words on many occasions and in response to a variety of situations: “Everyone has a cross to carry.”

Life is not easy. It is a challenge for me, and, I’m sure, a challenge for readers of this article, as well. Everyone, without exception, deals with difficulty, pain, disappointment, and grief at various points in their life journey. This is the human experience. We might be tempted to focus on the difficulties in our own life and feel like we’ve been slighted. Some might even be tempted to ask, “Why me? Why this?” Often, there are no answers to these questions, and yet we struggle with the reality of the situations.

When I heard my parents remind me that everyone has a cross to carry, and most, I believe, have more than just one, I am better able to recognize that I’m not alone in my pain. In difficult times, I am joined with the human community in striving to accept and come to terms with the challenges in my life. 

Without a doubt, I have had crosses to carry. I still do. When I look around, however, and recognize the crosses being carried by others, I can only respond with gratitude. Yes, life is tough, but, by the grace of God, the crosses I have carried pale in comparison with those on the shoulders of so many others. It seems that Good Friday is an appropriate time to reflect on this reality in our lives. In our reflection, we can respond with compassion for those who bear burdens heavier than our own, and we can respond with gratitude for the opportunities for growth contained in our own cross-bearing experiences. 

St. Teresa of Avila offered these words of wisdom:

“When we are overcome by sadness, fear, 
or suffering; when the pains of loss overwhelm us; 
when evil seems to have taken power; 
let us look to the cross and be filled with peace, 
knowing that Christ has walked this road 
and walks it now with us and with 
all our brothers and sisters.”