“We are like books. Most people will only see 
our cover, the minority read only the 
introduction, many people believe the 
critics. Few will know our content.”
~ Emile Zola

These words by French novelist Emile Zola got me thinking. Who really knows me? There are many people who think they know me, but do they really? Probably not. The analogy Zola makes between people and books is a valid one.

I’ve met countless people in my lifetime. As a result, I have many acquaintances today. After almost seventy years on this planet, and being the social creature I am, it’s no surprise that I would have connected in some way with thousands of men and women in various settings. Some are relatives or neighbors, while others are former students, colleagues, or people with whom I interact in the community on a fairly regular basis. I even have a few virtual friends — individuals with whom I interact on social media, yet have never had the opportunity to meet. 

I am energized by meeting people. Hearing the life stories of others, and sharing some of my life experiences with them, brings me tremendous joy. Every now and then, I meet someone with whom I have a profound connection — a shared worldview or experience of life — which enables us to form a closer bond than I have with most other people I’ve met. These are the individuals I get to know on a deeper level, and who get to know me beyond just my book cover.

It seems that most people, and, at times, I am one of them, are content to just know the book cover of those we meet. We enjoy getting to know them on a surface level without the need or desire to know them in a more intimate way. There are many people I see on a fairly regular basis who are totally content with just knowing me at this level. That’s okay. I don’t expect everyone to want to be close friends with me. Accepting our relationship as mere acquaintances is good enough for them, and for me. This probably describes most of my relationships.

There are those, however, who make the effort to open the book, read the introduction, and have a desire to read more. A few will read the entire book. In doing so, they are then better prepared to make an educated decision regarding the type of relationship they want to have with me. I am in full agreement with Zola that “few will know our content.” 

I am grateful for those who have made the effort to get to know me well. I also appreciate those who are content to know me at a book cover level. Their presence in my life can still be enriching and meaningful. Consequential relationships require time, attention, and a level of vulnerability with which many are uncomfortable. All the more reason to cherish those few substantive relationships in my life.