“The more tranquil a man becomes, 
the greater his success, 
his influence,  
his power for good.”
James Allen

I’m not exactly sure what caused me to think about this last night, but I wish I had learned about the power of calmness long before I did. Maybe it’s human nature, or a “guy thing,” or maybe it’s just me, but I would occasionally get irritated and react to things people said or did without giving myself the time I needed to process what had happened and to respond appropriately. Not surprisingly, anger often reared its ugly head and my response, or, in many cases, my over-response, was inappropriate. I’m embarrassed to admit that it took me so long to embrace a lesson I could have, and should have mastered much earlier in my life.

A person’s true strength comes from having the ability to put aside the negative things that happen in life without the need to immediately react. This seems so obvious… now.

The 20th century poet, T. S. Eliot, pointed out, “Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.” As I reflect upon many of the incidents of conflict in my life, most notably in the workplace, Eliot’s words have been repeatedly validated. The root cause of most conflict was a quest for power. I guess I have to admit that my impulsive reactions were often motivated by the very same thing. Individuals who are self-confident have no need to prove themselves to others. Nor do they have the need to prove someone else wrong.

As time went on, I became much more patient and peaceful than I had been in previous years. My focus on gratitude played a key role in this transformation. Doing so was extraordinarily helpful when I finally recognized that the words and actions of many of those attempting to make my life difficult were, in fact, reflective of their own self-detestation.

The ability to remain calm, even in the midst of chaos, is a form of self-care. The Dalai Lama reminds us that a “calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that’s very important for good health.” For this reason, I have adopted the regular habit of utilizing the Calm app, which provides a collection of brief, inspirational meditations, an assortment of longer guided meditations, and an outstanding collection of meditative music. The app has, without a doubt, been beneficial to my physical and mental health. 

Mahatma Gandhi, more than most of us, I would think, recognized the peril of those seeking power. His words are as meaningful today as they were when he spoke them eighty years ago: “The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.”

Sadly, we’re not there yet.