“The best of all gifts around 
any Christmas tree: 
the presence of a happy family 
all wrapped-up in each other.”
Burton Hillis

The 2023 holiday season is right around the corner. Retail outlets are elaborately adorned with Halloween, Thanksgiving and, yes, even Christmas decorations. One of the greatest challenges each year is to find an appropriate Christmas gift for a loved one. And of all those for whom we might be looking for the perfect gift, is anyone more difficult to buy for than one’s father? 

Speaking for myself, I need nothing. If I needed something, I’d have it already. I don’t need new clothes, I don’t need after-shave or cologne, and I most certainly don’t need any more mugs or ties. This, however, doesn’t mean there aren’t things I would appreciate. It’s just that what I would like most from my sons for Christmas this year, and every year, cannot be purchased at the mall, nor can it be wrapped in a box and put neatly under the Christmas tree.  

What I’d like from my sons is for them to love, respect, and accept each other. I’d like them to continue loving and respecting their mother and me, too. I’d like them to have an awareness of and genuine concern for those in our community who struggle getting through life — for whatever reason.

I would appreciate it if they would read my books and blog posts. Much of what I write might be beneficial in their lives. I’d like them to feel comfortable asking for my opinion whenever they think it’s appropriate to do so. I’d like them to ask me about my life experiences, while I’m still able to answer such questions with accuracy, and to share their life experiences with me.

I’d like them to know that I’m proud of them — all three of them — and that even though we may disagree on some things, I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. The days of their developmental need to seek autonomy from parental authority are over. All three of my boys are competent, self-reliant adults who have proven, beyond a doubt, that they can handle life as it comes to them.

For Christmas this year, and every year, I’d like them to constantly give serious consideration to the difference between wants and needs, and to conscientiously live within their means. I’d like them to be consistently honest in everything they say and do. I’d like them to be compassionately forgiving of themselves and others. 

I’d like them to express their emotions freely, yet appropriately, and to remember that the only two things they can control in life are their own attitude and their own effort. I’d like them to live their lives in such a way that when people think of kindness, compassion, gratitude, and integrity, they think of my three sons. And I’d like them to continue their habit of performing random acts of kindness for people who may never know of their generosity. 

In everything they do, I’d like them to strive for excellence, but not get caught-up in the pursuit of perfection. I’d like them to understand that pain and disappointment are inevitable in life, but that misery is optional. And I want them to remember that just because the past may have included a few bumps in the road, it is still possible that their future can and will be better than they ever dreamed possible.

I’d like them to understand that life will always be complicated, but only to the extent that they allow it to be. Simplifying their lives is an option available to them. I would also like them to remember that it’s not a good idea to judge someone on the opinion of another person. 

Finally, and not surprisingly, I’d like them to embrace the concept that gratitude is the single most important ingredient to living a successful and fulfilling life.

I don’t think this is too much to ask. The cost is minimal. No trip to the mall, or shopping spree on Amazon, is required. It’s all simple stuff, and it would make me happier than anything that could be wrapped in a box and placed under the tree.