“Man is affected not by events,
but by the view he takes of them.” 
Epictetus

It’s a delightful word: equanimity. It means mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in difficult situations. Do I possess the gift of equanimity? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. I thought this might be a good reflection for a Friday afternoon.

Equanimity is our ability to be content with what’s happening around us — good or bad. Some might consider it an unattainable goal, as it seems that relatively few people possess this gift. Equanimity is not indicative of apathy. That’s something totally different. Rather than taking the stance so popular in today’s jargon that “It is what it is,” equanimity invites us to acknowledge that “For now, it’s like this” — and to be okay with it. There is a difference. One is a passive acknowledgment of the reality of the situation. The other is conscious acceptance of the present reality, with hope and vision for a preferred future. 

Dr. Anna Schaffner, a writer and executive coach, recently published an article in which she asks two challenging questions:

1. How can we find
a calm harbor within ourselves
amid life’s storms?

2. How can we develop our ability
to remain composed and centered
when faced with challenges?

Schaffner claims that both can be accomplished with the practice of equanimity. She writes that “equanimity is characterized by the ability to remain calm, composed, open, and non-reactive in the face of challenging or distressing situations.” So I ask myself yet again, do I possess the gift of equanimity? My answer has not changed. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. 

There have been several times in my life when I have pleasantly surprised myself by my calm, almost clinical response to an unforeseen crisis or emergency. Sadly, there have also been times when my reaction to an unexpected challenge was inappropriate and disproportionate. As I reflect on these experiences, I realize how good I feel about the times I handled challenging situations with professionalism, confidence, and composure. Conversely, I am ashamed of my response to other provocations. Dr. Schaffner points out that “when we are in a state of equanimity, we can respond to life’s ups and downs with more clarity and wisdom.”

It is incumbent upon each of us to do what we can to make ourselves as resilient as possible to the effects of the words, actions, and situations around us. Equanimity is the key. 

“Every moment of equanimity
is a moment of waking up
from the delusion that
things should be
as we want them to be.” 
Toni Bernhard