“Do not let the
behavior of others
destroy your
inner peace.” 
Dalai Lama

A dictionary definition of the word detach reads: “detach: verb – to disengage and separate; disconnect.”

Here are a few other thought-provoking insights on the practice of detachment in one’s life:

Author Mahatma Prabhu tells us that “detachment means to not be owned by what we own.” This is certainly worthy of serious reflection.

Certified Life Coach John B. Bejo wrote, “Detachment is an art of enjoying something while always being open the the possibility of losing it someday.” This concept, too, is worthy of our consideration, since the reality of our lives is that nothing is permanent.

Shane Steele, in The Mind’s Journal, boldly states, “Detachment is power.” He recommends that we release all those things in our lives that no longer work for us. Difficult as this may be for some, Steele’s advice is well-founded.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits), wrote that the only way to spiritual freedom is to detach ourselves from our preferences and embrace things as they are rather than dwelling on how we wish they would be. Again, a challenging task for most.

Finally, clinical social worker Vicki Tidwell Palmer tells us, “Detachment is the art of accepting powerlessness, and experiencing serenity, especially in difficult situations.” Two things about this statement intrigue me. The first is this: Is serenity the result of accepting powerlessness? And the second: Isn’t accepting powerlessness an indication of weakness? My gut response to these questions is Yes and No.  

Yes, letting go, accepting powerlessness, going with the flow,… whatever words one chooses to use are likely to result in a tremendous sense of peace and serenity. And no, accepting powerlessness is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it takes tremendous courage to accept powerlessness. Isn’t this one of the lessons learned from the crucifixion on Calvary?

From time to time, most of us experience periods of overwhelming stress. The causes of this stress are limitless — work, relationships, finances, overcommitment, time restraints, personal health… The list could go on for quite a while. One effective way to cope with this type of stress is to intentionally detach from those things which are no longer serving us well — and those people who no longer nourish our soul. As a good friend said to me recently, “Trim the branches, but nurture the roots.”

Healthy detachment allows us to step back and observe what is happening, not only what’s happening around us, but what’s happening within us and to us. When we do so, we allow the stressful feelings to dissipate. Only then are we free to live our lives with love, empathy, and acceptance.