“The best thing to
hold onto in life
is each other.”
Audrey Hepburn

It’s always easier to take a test when you are the one who created it. So again today, I will address the question of the day (for April 23rd) posed in my book, A Focus on Gratitude. I wrote the question, and I know the answer… for me.

Today’s question is: “Who is one person for whom you are particularly grateful today?”

There is a subtle acknowledgment in the wording of the question. I didn’t ask “Who is the one person…?” My hope is that most of us have a number of people for whom we are grateful today and every day. I know I do. This question is an invitation to select just one of those people — one person for whom you are particularly grateful today. 

Without a doubt, at this point in my life, and in our marriage, I am particularly grateful for my wife, Kathy. I’ve mentioned in my writing previously that we have what I would describe as a perfectly imperfect marriage. We both have our faults. Yet for almost forty years, we have partnered effectively to raise three sons, to create a home for ourselves, and now, to enjoy the blessings of our five grandchildren. Yes, I am incredibly grateful for Kathy.

Much has been said and written about love and marriage. Poet Robert Frost wrote, “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” I love this quote, and while there may be some truth to Frost’s words, and there is, love is so much more.

Oscar Hammerstein, best known for his success in musical theater, wrote, “The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay. Love isn’t love ’til you give it away.” Again, something worth our consideration, but it doesn’t tell the whole story about love.

My favorite quote about love comes from a most unexpected source — science fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein. His explanation best describes my own understanding of this thing we call love. Heinlein wrote, “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” 

This sentiment is consistent with quotes by C.S. Lewis, Martin Luther King, Jr., and many others who agree that love can be defined as seeking the highest good for the other person. In other words, love is a verb. It’s not about what we get. Love is about what we give to make life a little better for someone else. 

Kathy once shared that when she first met me, it was as if her knight in shining armor had arrived to sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after, and so she loved me. It didn’t take long for her to realize that I am not perfect. Despite this realization, she loved me even more. That’s love. And that’s why I am so grateful to have Kathy in my life.

“Happy is the man who
finds a true friend,
and far happier is he
who finds that true friend
in his wife.”
Franz Schubert