“A wound does not heal
by being told to heal.” 
Joe Primo

Dealing with wounds from our past seems to be a universal experience. Despite the fact that each person’s life is a gift, life inevitably involves challenges, suffering, loss, and grief. Coping with these realities can, for some, be overwhelming. To make matters worse, difficult experiences are not equally distributed. While some individuals seem to skate through life unscathed (most likely, we’re simply unaware of what these people have gone through), others are burdened with a plethora of painful situations which can challenge their faith and leave them with significant emotional wounds. How, then, can we heal from our woundedness?

As Chilean-American writer, Isabel Allende, tells us, “Everybody has losses — it’s unavoidable in life.” Yes, it is. Yet, as our life goes on, we are challenged to find healthy ways to acknowledge and embrace our pain so that we are not paralyzed by it. Allende recommends that sharing our pain can be incredibly healing. This may be true, but does anyone really want  to listen to us complain about the painful experiences with which we’ve been confronted in our lives? Fortunately, there are therapists whose calling in life is to do just that.

Keanu Reeves has had an astounding career as an actor, starring in The Matrix, Speed, Constantine, and many other successful movies. Just two years ago, Time magazine named him one of the 100 most influential people in the world! Despite his professional success, Reeves has endured both personal and professional setbacks which have tested his strength and resilience. The actor shares these words of wisdom: “Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times, they can only make you stronger.” Reeves acknowledges that gratitude does, indeed, make a difference.

Through all the ups and downs of his life, Keanu Reeves is known for being humble, kind, and down-to-earth. These admirable traits have endeared him to friends and fans throughout the world. They also remind us that we have the power to decide how to live our own lives, even when confronted with painful experiences.

Jalaleddin Rumi, better known simply as Rumi, is remembered for being a great spiritual master. He, too, encouraged us to see the positive side of life’s challenges. He wrote, “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.” It is through our own pain that we are able to develop the empathy to care for others.

The Greek philosopher, Socrates, also puts an optimistic spin on coping with life’s difficulties. Referring to the changes any crisis in our life might bring about, he said, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” These words, along with wisdom from a number of other sources, empowered me to retire from teaching at the age of 61. Rather than resisting the misguided leadership in the school at that time, I chose to venture off into a new career as a writer and allow the future of the school to play out as it would. As I suspected might be the case, the school permanently closed at the end of the following academic year. Retiring prematurely is a decision I will never regret.

Although it’s been sixty-one years since his passing, Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung continues to be a powerful source of information, inspiration, and wisdom. These simple words can be of significant benefit to any person questioning their lot in life: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” Jung’s words serve as a gentle reminder that the responsibility for our life, and our outlook on life, is in our hands. Healing the wounds of our past may be difficult, but we have the power to do so.