“When we focus on what’s right
instead of what’s wrong,
life improves considerably.”
~ Hal Urban

It seems to be human nature to focus on what’s wrong in life and to take what’s going well for granted. I wish I could explain this phenomenon, but I’m unable to do so. I know from my own lived experience, however, that it’s true.

On many occasions throughout my life, I’ve been evaluated — as a teacher, author, and speaker. When I had the opportunity to read the evaluations, I often found myself focusing on the few negative comments which showed up — and inevitably they did. Even when I was confident that I had done a good job, there would always be those few who were not impressed, and had no qualms about expressing their disappointment in an anonymous evaluation. That’s the way life is.

Why is it, then, that when 95% of the evaluations were positive, I found myself fixated on the other 5%?

After reading Hal Urban’s first book 20 Things I Want My Kids to Know (the book was republished with the title 20 Gifts of Life) many years ago, I found one point to be particularly challenging. Would my life really improve considerably if I could focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong in life? It didn’t take long for me to learn the answer to this question: Absolutely!!!

Life is never going to be perfect. The people around me are never going to be perfect. I am never going to be perfect. Yet I have to believe that everyone is doing the best they can, given their unique situation. This mindset enables me to be a bit more understanding, accepting, and forgiving of those who fail to meet my expectations. This also allows me to be significantly more grateful for the people and situations in my life. In trying to focus on what’s good in those around me, and in looking for the good in every situation I encounter, life does improve — considerably.

In recent years, a simple phrase has emerged in our culture which helps me to accept things as they are — and to focus on what’s good instead of what’s wrong. “It is what it is.” While I’m not a big fan of this phrase for a number of reasons, it is a simple statement, and has so often proven to be true. Acknowledging this helps me to remember that I have a choice in every situation. I can focus on how I wish things were, and be constantly frustrated, or I can focus on how things are, and be genuinely grateful. Focusing on what’s right, instead of what’s wrong, has most definitely improved my life.