“We must find the time
to stop and thank
those people who
make a difference
in our lives.”
John F. Kennedy

I would be hard-pressed to name all the women and men who have made a positive difference in my life. The list would include family members, teachers, coaches, neighbors, friends, colleagues, teammates, healthcare professionals, and so many more. I’ve been blessed to have so many kind, compassionate individuals in my life. President John F. Kennedy suggested that we take the time to thank these people for the difference they made in our lives. Sadly, I waited much too long to do so.

A few difference-makers in my life rise to a different level — that of mentor. A simple dictionary definition of this term might describe them as wise and trusted counselors or teachers. In reality, they are so much more.

A mentor is someone who shares their knowledge, expertise, and experience to assist another person in their personal, professional, or spiritual growth. Mentors provide individuals with guidance and support in their life journey. They encourage their mentees to clarify their life goals and to take action to achieve them.

The goal of mentoring is to help the mentee navigate the inevitable challenges of life, to develop skills to deal with them effectively, and, ultimately, to achieve their personal and professional goals. Author John Maxwell tells us, “We all need someone to help us in our pursuit of intentional growth and the right mentor helps you take massive leaps forward.” 

The Harvard Business Review characterized the successful mentor relationship as one characterized by “mutual respect, trust, shared values, and good communication.”

Six individuals come to mind when I consider those who have filled the role of mentor in my life:

1. Rich Baptista: During the summers of 1967 to 1970, Rich and I worked together at Silver Tree Day Camp in San Francisco. He was a professional educator who worked at the summer camp for many years. I was hired to work as a junior counselor, assisting adult counselors with the supervision of young campers. Rich, who served as director of the summer camp, consistently provided advice and guidance which enhanced my leadership skills and self-confidence.

2. Russ Roide: A Jesuit priest at St. Ignatius College Prep in San Francisco, Russ saw something in me that I was unable to see in myself — until I did. In 1971, he invited me to work in Jamaica for the summer. In 1972, he recommend me for a job working in the student dormitory at Bellarmine College Prep in San José. This job provided me with room and board throughout my college years. In 1974, he contacted me to inquire about my interest in teaching in a Catholic high school in Nassau, Bahamas — a life-changing experience. His influence on my life is undeniable.

3. Mike Mitchell: Mike was also a Catholic priest. He served as pastor at St. Lawrence Parish in Santa Clara from 1985 to 1991. During those years, I was employed as a pastoral associate at the parish. A number of challenging situations, both professional and personal, arose during that time which I was able to handle effectively thanks to Mike’s insightful guidance.

4. Ron Modeste: In 1994, when I was in desperate need of a change in the workplace, Ron was serving as principal of St. Lawrence Academy, the parish high school. My job as pastoral associate for the parish included responsibilities in the high school. Ron invited me to increase my role in the school to full-time status. I gratefully accepted. For the next seven years, Ron was much more than just my boss. He was my mentor, friend, and confidante. His trust in me, combined with the wisdom he shared with me about education and fatherhood, had a profound impact on my level of confidence.

5. Sam Chan: I met Sam, the father of two of my former students, in the early 2000’s when his kids got involved in the Japan Exchange Program I coordinated at St. Lawrence. Sam owns and operates his own highly-successful computer components company. He is also a certified life-coach. By the end of the 2013 academic year, Sam noticed that I was struggling with my role at the school. Morale at the school had deteriorated. I had an overwhelming sense that it was time for me to move on to a new venture, but I was fearful of making a move. The problem was that I was approaching the age of 60. It would have been difficult for me to find a teaching position in a new school, as my placement on the salary schedule would have been prohibitive due to my education and experience. Sam invited me to stop by his office for a chat. It was life-changing. With his guidance and encouragement, I took a risk and retired from teaching in June 2015 to begin a new career as a writer and speaker.

6. Hal Urban: Several years ago, I picked up a book in a local bookstore — 20 Things I Want My Kids to Know. The book was revised and republished in 2012 with the title 20 Gifts of Life. Having three kids of my own, I read the book and found it to be quite insightful. A few years later, at a social function, I happened to meet the author, Hal Urban. I contacted Hal for advice on publishing my first book. His guidance, encouragement, and friendship have been instrumental in my success as a writer and as a person.

Research has shown that having a mentor is tied to an overall increase in one’s emotional health. I think I can safely say this has been true in my case. Sadly, Rich and Russ have passed. Mike and Ron are enjoying retirement and I rarely see either of them anymore. Sam and Hal, however, are still very much a part of my life. Both have unique gifts to share with me as I continue my life journey. I am grateful to all of them for the positive difference they have made in my life through the years.

Who are the individuals who have filled the mentor role in your life?