“The way to gain
a good reputation
is to endeavor to be
what you desire to appear.” 
Socrates

At first, I thought it was just me. Throughout much of my life, I had this nagging feeling that if people really knew me the way I knew myself, they wouldn’t like me. I wasn’t a bad person, but I didn’t think as well of myself as others apparently thought of me. I’m not proud to admit this, but the result of my insecurity is that I lived much of my life trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. Over time, I’ve learned that this is a fairly common experience.

Certainly, there were some self-image issues I had to endure in my younger years. I think I’ve done a fairly good job of working through them. As I reflect on my life with the perspective of 70 years, I realize that this struggle was a challenging, yet positive experience.

Socrates’ quote cited above makes me think that, to some extent, trying to please others may not have been such a bad thing after all. Who was I trying to impress? Whose image was I trying to live up to? For the most part, they were individuals I highly respected. They were men and women who impressed me, and whose lives I wanted to emulate. In other words, these were people who served as positive role models for me at some point in my life. I would think that trying to model one’s life on a positive role model is a pretty good thing to do.

It’s no secret that many important life lessons are learned outside the formal classroom setting. Participation in athletics taught me many valuable life lessons. When I was younger and played competitive sports, I loved game days, but I was never particularly fond of practices. On practice days, we worked hard trying to perfect each aspect of the game so that in game situations, we would do those things without thinking about them. The pace of athletic competition is such that there’s often no time for thinking while the game is being played — we can only react. This is what makes daily practices so critical to the success of any athlete or team. Only by repetitive practice of the basic skills required for the sport was I adequately prepared to execute those skills effectively in the heat of competition.

The concept of endeavoring to be what one desires to appear can be a good thing. Like practicing a sport, in striving to be like someone else — a role model, a mentor, our parents, or anyone we truly respect — the potential exists to make their positive traits our own default reactions to situations. While we are all called to be our true selves, making a conscientious effort to model our lives after individuals we admire can be a way of growing into the very person we desire to be.