“Old friends pass away.
New friends appear.” 
Dalai Lama

My friend, Kim, passed away two years ago today — on May 10th, 2023 — after a seven-year battle with cancer. Over a period of 48 years, Kim and I had corresponded by postal mail, email, social media, FaceTime, and an occasional phone call. Although she was one of my students at St. Augustine’s College in the Bahamas in the 1974-75 academic year, we were only six years apart in age. Our relationship, which began after I left Nassau in August 1975, was platonic from the very start. We enjoyed each other’s company. We trusted each other. After exchanging note cards and letters for four years, I returned to Nassau for a visit in August 1979. I saw her briefly during that visit. I returned again in August 1981, at which time I took Kim out to dinner to celebrate her 21st birthday. We dined at The Wharf Restaurant in the British Colonial Hotel, which is where my parents and I had celebrated my 21st birthday six years earlier. Neither of us considered it a “date.” We were just two good friends celebrating Kim’s special day.

Kathy and I had the opportunity to visit Kim and her husband, Simon, at their home in Nassau in August 1985. Simon and Kim visited us here in California on two separate occasions. The four of us enjoyed a good, healthy relationship. 

In 2016, Kim was diagnosed with cancer. In the years that followed, the cancer slowly spread from her uterus to her bones, and then to her brain. In mid-March 2023, Kim sent me an email informing me that her doctor had told her that she had reached the end of the road. When I read the email to Kathy, she urged me to visit Kim immediately. Two days later, I was in Nassau to say goodbye to my good friend.

Since that time, the words of the Dalai Lama quoted above have proven to be prophetic. Kim passed away, yes, but in the two years since that time, I have been blessed to meet a number of new friends. None of these individuals take the place of Kim in my life, but all of them enrich my life in their own unique ways, and my relationships with all of them, like my friendship with Kim, are purely platonic. 

I met Shalini in Nassau two years ago, when I visited the Bahamas to say goodbye to Kim. She and I were staying at the same hotel and we happened to meet in the lobby. She’s originally from Trinidad, though she currently lives and works in Toronto, Canada. She has been a true blessing to me in these past two years.

Warda (in photo above) is originally from Tanzania. I met her at the Westfield Valley Fair Shopping Mall in San José where she is employed. From our first conversation, I felt as though I was speaking with a long-time friend. In this past week, through text messages and a nice lunch we shared yesterday afternoon, Warda expressed her genuine concern for Brendan’s well being following his surgery, and offered assistance if we need it. I appreciate her kindness.

Last month, I had the opportunity to visit friends in Nassau once again. On that trip, I met a local merchant, a long-time resident of the Bahamas who works in one of the shops on Bay Street. When I visited the shop, I was overwhelmed with Christine’s gracious hospitality and outgoing personality. Again, I felt as though we had known each other for a long time. She’s one of those people who has a way of making others feel special.

Throughout my life, I have been blessed with a number of healthy relationships. These friendships have enriched my life and nourished my soul in countless ways. I am truly grateful for all of them.