“There is no joy
in possession
without sharing.” 
Erasmus

I am not overly fond of the words “they” and “them.” These seemingly harmless words have the potential to convey, in some ways, that “I” am not a part of “them,” or that “they” are not a part of “us.” Of course, these words are essential to basic communication, but I think we need to be both cautious and conscious of how we use them.

Last Thursday evening, because the washer and dryer in our home is out of commission until some repair work is completed in our laundry room, I drove down to the local laundromat on Williams Road. Kathy and I have lived in our home for almost 39 years. This was my first visit to this laundromat. Only a handful of customers were using the facilities and, since it had been so long since I’d been in a laundromat, I wasn’t quite sure how to use the machines. Everything was a little different, and significantly more expensive, than the place where I did my laundry back in the early 80s.

It appeared that every customer in the laundromat spoke Spanish as their first language. For some, I’m sure it was their only language. I approached a middle-aged woman who I suspected might have ample experience using the facilities. I asked her to show me how things needed to be done. Her English speaking skills were more than sufficient for us to have a delightful conversation, and for her to teach me how to navigate the ins and outs of today’s laundromat. 

Many people might enter such an environment believing that the other customers were “them,” and be too pretentious to ask them for assistance. I don’t speak Spanish. Yet there we were, all with a common need — to get our laundry done. I was a part of them, and I am a part of them, beyond my need for clean clothes.  

The woman who helped me was, without a doubt, an angel sent by God! She was kind, patient, and meticulous as she overcame her shyness and limited English skills to instruct me on how to operate the machines. To say that I was grateful is an understatement.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said, “The fundamental law of human beings is interdependence.” Humans are mutually reliant on each other for many things. We need professionals to take care of our medical and dental needs. I need an auto mechanic to care for my car. We all need other drivers on the road to operate their vehicles carefully and responsibly so that we can arrive safely at our destination. We need farmworkers in this and other countries to harvest the fruits and vegetables we enjoy at our meals. And last Thursday evening, I needed the woman in the laundromat to share her expertise on how to operate the washers and dryers. 

Similarly, I have opportunities to be of assistance others — by proofreading a manuscript, writing a letter of recommendation, tutoring a student, motivating someone to share their life story with others in their own book, reaching for an item on the top shelf in a grocery store, helping a neighbor carry groceries into their home,… The list has no end.  

Interdependence is a gift. It is a sign of neither superiority nor inferiority. We are all gifted in different ways. As Cesar Chavez told us, “Our ambitions must be broad enough to include the aspirations and needs of others, for their sake and for ours.”   

Chavez also reminds us, “You are never strong enough that you don’t need help.”