“There is no normal life
that is free of pain.” 
Fred Rogers

It seems to sneak up on me when I’m least expecting it. Life can be going along smoothly and everything is great. Striving to be positive in everything I do, and promoting positivity in my writing, seems to be an effective way for me to consistently see life through the lens of gratitude — to see the glass half-full, even when things aren’t perfect. Then, when I least expect it, the feeling gently taps me on the shoulder to get my attention, and I find myself lost in a thick fog of uncertainty. There are times when I know why I’m feeling the way I am, yet there are times when I’m clueless about why I’m in a funk. Yesterday was one of those days.

It’s a strange word — funk. Psychotherapist Amy Brodsky describes funk as a fairly short-lived bad day or couple of days. These experiences can be the result of something that’s happened to us, something someone has said to us, uncertainty about our future, or any number of other causes. Most often, people experience a funk for a couple of days before the clouds lift and the world around them seems brighter. 

“Going through a funk or rut is extremely common,” Brodsky pointed out. “It happens to everyone now and again and there are no hard or fast rules to getting through it. Everyone is different, so you’ll need to adjust and learn what works best for you.”

One thing is certain. Digging oneself out of a funk is something one must do for oneself. Others may offer compassionate support, but in the end, this is something no one else can do for you. Sometimes it helps to just sit with your feelings, acknowledge them for what they are, and embrace the reality of the moment, confident that things will eventually get better. 

One strategy I employ when I’m feeling this way is to sleep. When I’m asleep, I’m not aware of the funk, and time passes, allowing the fog to clear a bit. I went to bed at 8:00 last night and got up at 5:30 this morning feeling much better. I’m still feeling a bit vulnerable today, but I’m in a much better space than I was last night.

I also find it helpful to avoid exposing myself to news coverage. Local and national news teams often exaggerate the actual scope of the issue being reported, leaving viewers with the uneasy sense that things are much worse than they actually are. This, too, can exacerbate the negativity we experience. 

Another thing I enjoy doing when I’m feeling low is to go outside either to walk or to just sit in a quiet, nurturing space. Hakone Gardens in Saratoga is one of my favorite places to go. The traditional Japanese garden is an ideal venue for practicing the Japanese art of Shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing. There are benches surrounded by trees along the paths on the hillside overlooking the koi pond which are ideal for this practice. I’m heading up there this morning. 

Self-care is essential to all of us, especially in times when we’re in a funk. Yesterday I got a haircut. Then I treated myself to a Haagen-Dazs vanilla milk chocolate almond bar at 7-11. Later today, I’m going to treat myself to a one-hour massage. Self-care is not selfish. It’s an absolute necessity to nurture our physical and mental health. 

As I mentioned, most funks are short-lived. I expect this one will be, too. I am always inspired by the words of Anne Frank, who wrote, “What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.”