“It’s not whether
you win or lose,
but how you
play the game.” 
Grantland Rice

A popular saying displayed on T-shirts and bumper stickers in the 1980s promoted a hedonistic, yet popular mindset. “He who dies with the most toys wins.” These words were originally attributed to American businessman Malcolm Forbes. Another perspective on life is reflected in a similar quote: “He who dies with the most toys is dead.” It’s true,… you can’t take it with you.

Winning is good. Losing is bad. Winners are admired. Losers are…, well, losers. No one wants to be labeled a loser, right? 

When I played competitive sports in my younger years and would return home after a game, my father would often ask, “Did you win?” That question impressed upon me the importance of winning. I don’t recall him ever asking, “Did you give it your best shot?” or “Did you have fun?”

Grantland Rice, an American sportswriter, died in July 1954, when I was just six weeks old. He left behind a gem of wisdom we’ve all heard, but few seem to have understood or embraced. Rice wrote, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”

Despite the fact that I heard these words countless times in my youth, the meaning never quite sunk in. Why? Perhaps it’s because a number of influential people in my life, most notably coaches, contradicted these words and impressed upon my teammates and me the critical importance of winning. Finishing a season in second place was a disappointment. Oakland Raiders’ owner, Al Davis, promoted the “Just win, baby” philosophy. Doing one’s best wasn’t good enough if you didn’t finish the season #1.

Green Bay Packers’ coach Vince Lombardi seemed to have a more healthy perspective. He said, “Winning is not everything — but making the effort to win is.”

UCLA’s legendary men’s basketball coach, John Wooden, whose teams won ten national championships in twelve seasons, downplayed the importance of winning. “If there’s anything you could point out where I was a little different, it was the fact that I never mentioned winning,” he quipped. He always told his players, “Just do the best you can. No one can do more than that.”

Wooden also pointed out, “You can lose when you outscore somebody in a game.” In other words, a win is not something to be proud of if you haven’t put forth your best effort. And a loss is not something to be ashamed of if you have put forth your best effort.

In his book, The Score Takes Care of Itself, former San Francisco 49ers’ head coach, Bill Walsh, wrote, “Concentrate on what will produce results rather than on the results, the process rather than the prize.” 

It took me a long time — much too long — to comprehend and accept the validity of Rice’s oft-repeated words. Commitment, sportsmanship, and effort are much better indicators of success than a simple win.