“Every single thing that has
ever happened in your life
is preparing you for a moment
that is yet to come.” 
John Spence

I would guess that I’m not alone in wondering why some things have happened in my life. Whether they be good things or bad, it’s human nature to consider why life happens to us the way it does. In fact, I think it’s more than just human nature. I think it’s our responsibility as humans to give serious thought to why we experience the things we do in life.

When I was a junior in high school, sitting in the hallway with a group of friends, one of my teachers asked me to stop by his office. He offered me the opportunity to work in Jamaica the following summer. I accepted the unexpected invitation, but why me? One week to the day before leaving for Montego Bay, I found myself in an isolation room at Saint Mary’s Hospital with an infected blood clot in my ankle? Why me? In early spring of my senior year, the same teacher invited me to consider working as a dormitory prefect at Bellarmine College Prep in San José the following academic year. Sure, but why me? Two years later, that teacher contacted me at Bellarmine to ask if I would consider accepting a teaching job in a Catholic high school in Nassau, Bahamas. Again, I accepted, but why me?

This pattern of unsolicited opportunities, as well as a few disappointments, has continued throughout my life. While I was unaware of the “why” at the time of each experience, in retrospect, the reasons became clear. Each opportunity seemed to be preparing me for a moment yet to come.

Last Friday, I happened to meet a woman who, like me, was enjoying breakfast at the Java Beach Café in San Francisco. She was wearing a San Francisco Fire Department sweatshirt, so I struck up a conversation. She confided in me that she had been laid off from her job earlier in the morning. While news of her termination was initially upsetting to her, she had already considered the possibility that the experience would offer her an opportunity to pursue a career doing something she enjoyed more than what she had been doing, and in an environment more supportive and collegial than the one she was leaving. I was impressed.

There are still experiences for which my “why” remains a mystery. Why were two of my cars (1993 and 2010) totaled by irresponsible drivers? Why did I miss noticing the 18” curb in the Bahamas this past March, resulting in my face-plant on the pavement in the intersection? Why do I have such distaste for cucumbers, coffee, and cilantro? I just don’t know, and I may never know about these things. I do, however, recognize that many of my life experiences prepared me for opportunities I was not aware would arise in my future.

Author Harold Kushner, in his book When Bad Things Happen to Good People, urges readers to ask a different question. Rather than asking “why,” he recommends that we ask ourselves, “Where do I go from here?” I believe this is a much healthier response to life’s difficult times. It is a question of resilience, rather than regret.

Alexander Graham Bell once said, “When one door closes another one opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.” This is the challenge with which we are all confronted. 

The open doors are there for us if we are open to seeing them, and if we are courageous enough to walk through them.