“Never underestimate
the power of
your presence.”
Theo Boyd

Throughout my life, there have been numerous times when I have made the decision not to attend a function to which I had been invited — or to which one might have expected me to attend. Such events could include weddings, funerals, birthday parties, class reunions, or just gatherings of friends. My reasons for not attending were varied. I might have been tired. I might have been apprehensive about others I would inevitably see at the event. Whatever the reason, I always had the feeling that no one would notice my absence. With so many others attending, surely I would not be missed.

Much to my surprise, more often than I would like to admit, I would get a phone call or text message after the event asking where I was — and letting me know that I had been missed. 

Theo Boyd’s quote above is powerful. This is a lesson I wish I had learned and embraced at a much earlier stage in my life. Our presence, even though we may not realize it, is important. People do notice. I certainly did. 

When my Dad died, Saint Gabriel Church was filled to capacity on both Wednesday night for the Rosary and Thursday morning for the funeral Mass. When all the services were over, and in the days that followed, I reflected on who was there, and who wasn’t. It was a painful realization to acknowledge that not one person from my workplace, where I had worked for 24 years at that time, attended either service. It was also painful to accept that, unlike my siblings, very few of my friends attended the services. 

Our presence does matter. Whether we show up or not does make a difference in the lives of others. Our presence is a gift — a precious gift of our time and attention. When we show up at these types of events, we are letting others know that we support them, that we care about them, and that they make a difference in our life, too.

Author John Eldredge wrote, “The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift. To come — unguarded, undistracted — and be fully present, fully engaged with whoever we are with at that moment.”

I’ve been invited to attend tonight’s 45th class reunion of students I taught back in 1980. My initial thought was to skip it. Surely I wouldn’t be missed. Then I began thinking about Boyd’s quote. Students in this class intentionally invited me to attend their event. They were 13 and 14 year olds when I taught them. Today, they are in their late 50’s. I’m sure I will recognize some of them, but not all. I’m sure I will remember most of them, but not all. But they will more than likely remember me, though they may not recognize me. 

My gift to the Saint Christopher class of 1980 is my presence at their reunion tonight. Their gift to me is the invitation to join them for this celebration. I hope most of the students in that class grace each other with their attendance at the reunion. Their presence matters, too.