A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • November 16

    Reflection Question of the Day for November 16: 

    “Have you ever given much thought to your ability to speak? How does the way you use this gift reflect your level of gratitude for the ability to do so?”

    Excerpt from: 

    A Focus on Gratitude
    Kevin Carroll
    (Balboa Press, 2024)

  • “Play Ball!”

    “There are only 
    two seasons: 
    winter and baseball.” 
    Bill Veeck, Jr.

    It was an overcast mid-November morning in San José when Kathy and I arrived at the Evergreen campus of LeyVa Middle School for Liam’s final game of the fall baseball season today. I was a bit disappointed that everyone who showed up to enjoy watching a group of kids play baseball on a Saturday morning found the gates to the empty LeyVa parking lot closed and locked. It seems that Mr. Jim Grassi, the principal at LeyVa, is unwilling to allow Little League parents, coaches, and other fans to park in the lot on Saturday mornings, despite the fact that he, himself, had been a player in Evergreen Little League when he was a kid and that Evergreen Little League pays the school district for use of the field. Go figure.

    Despite this unfortunate situation, after finding a parking spot in the neighborhood and walking quite a distance to the baseball field at the rear of the campus, I was reminded of the words of legendary baseball announcer Harry Caray, “Hello again, everybody. It’s a bee-yoo-ti-ful day for baseball!”

    Most people associate baseball with spring and summer. Many would consider mid-November to be the off-season. The World Series is over. major league baseball stadiums are empty, unless they are being used for concerts or other community events. But all across America, die-hard lovers of the game of baseball are still playing “fall ball.” My grandson, Liam, is one of those kids.

    Liam’s team is blessed with an excellent coaching staff, men who recognize that baseball is a game and that learning to play the game is a developmental process. They don’t expect perfection from their players. Week after week, they focus on improvement of skills and a better overall understanding of the game. They correct without criticizing. They encourage without pressuring the kids to do more than they are capable of doing at this age. They inspire and motivate the kids, helping them to understand that baseball is a game to be enjoyed, not a chore to be endured. And respect for the players and coaches of the other team is a high priority for this coaching staff.

    Watching Liam, now 11-years-old, step up to the plate for an at-bat reminded me of my own experience of playing baseball in fifth grade. I did not possess the level of confidence Liam exudes on the field. When he gets up to bat, he has every expectation that he will get a hit. You can see this clearly in his posture. My at-bats were experiences of fear, mostly fear of not getting hit by a pitch, but also fear of my coach’s disapproval when I struck out. My hope as a batter was to draw a walk, because I had no confidence that I was capable of hitting the ball. Not surprisingly, Liam had more hits (two singles) in today’s game than I had in my entire fifth grade season!

    In my childhood, the focus seemed to be on winning games, not developing skills for the future. We ended our fifth grade season as league champions, but none of my teammates went on to play baseball in their high school years. Liam’s coaches are far more concerned with enhancing player development than winning games at this level. 

    Time will tell, but my guess is that these kids are going to enjoy playing baseball much more and for much longer than I did. Going to baseball practice and playing in games should be enjoyable. Long-time Pittsburgh Pirates’ star Willie Stargell made an excellent point when he said, “When they start the game, they don’t yell, ‘Work ball!’ They say, ‘Play ball!’”  

  • November 15

    Reflection Question of the Day for November 15: 

    “It’s the middle of November. How are you feeling today?”

    Excerpt from: 

    A Focus on Gratitude
    Kevin Carroll
    (Balboa Press, 2024)

  • “No”vember

    “‘No’ is a 
    complete sentence.” 
    Ann Lamott

    It’s one of those things I’ve done more times than I would like to admit — saying “Yes” to something I really had no desire to do, or without giving it sufficient thought. Can you watch my dog for a few days?… Hey, could you pick me up in Sunnyvale on Tuesday afternoon and drive me to my therapy appointment in Oakland?… You wanna get together for lunch next Saturday?… Are you available to help me move a refrigerator from my brother’s house in Los Gatos to my new apartment in Fremont?… Will you serve on the Board of Directors of my nonprofit?… Would you serve as Director of Athletics next year?

    Generally speaking, I want to help people whenever possible. I want to be a good friend, a good neighbor, a good employee, a good guy. So through the years, I’ve committed myself to doing many things that I just didn’t want to do — and once I commit, I usually follow through,… but not always. Not anymore. It took a while, but I’ve finally acknowledged to myself that time is a valuable commodity, and it’s up to me to manage my time more efficiently and effectively. 

    It’s a common misunderstanding that “No” is a purely negative response. That’s certainly one way to see it. It’s also possible to recognize that saying “No” to some things we are asked to do is an essential way of saying “Yes” to ourselves and our personal well-being. Too many unintentional “yeses” can leave us feeling overwhelmed and unnecessarily stressed.

    One unfortunate reality is that many people believe that they should do just about everything anyone asks them to do. Saying “No,” especially to someone we care about, can be difficult. Psychologist Manuel J. Smith reminds us, “You have the right to say “No” without feeling guilty.” Well,… we may have the right, but for many, it’s still not an easy thing to do.

    Setting boundaries is a life skill many of us need to improve upon. Without boundaries, we set ourselves up to be used and taken advantage of by others. It is incumbent upon us to make our boundaries clear — first of all, to ourselves, then to others. And if anyone is offended by the boundaries you set, perhaps they are the reason you needed those boundaries in the first place. Musician Phil Good observed, “When someone oversteps your boundaries, they’re letting you know that what you want doesn’t matter.” Think about that.

    It is essential for us to learn to say “No” without feeling guilty. Setting boundaries is a form of self-care, and self-care is not selfish. It’s not always easy for us to do, but we must learn to respect and care for ourselves, even if it means disappointing others from time to time. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. It’s possible to be a good person with a kind heart and still say “No.”

    If you haven’t mastered this skill before now, it’s time to begin saying “No” to those things (and people) that drain you of your energy, and “Yes” to the things (and people) that fill you up and energize you. Julia Ubbenga is the creator of the popular blog Rich in What Matters. Her advice is priceless: “Our homes and our lives only have a certain amount of space. It’s our job to choose carefully what we allow to fill them.” 

  • November 14

    Reflection Question of the Day for November 14: 

    “What did you learn from the most difficult part of selecting your career path for which you are grateful today?”

    Excerpt from: 

    A Focus on Gratitude
    Kevin Carroll
    (Balboa Press, 2024)

  • Reading with Henry

    AI generated photo

    “If you can read, you can learn 
    anything about everything and 
    everything about anything.” 
    Tomie dePaola

    Emilie Buchwald is a retired writer and editor from the Midwest. She once declared, and I agree wholeheartedly, that “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.” I’m sure Ms. Buchwald would agree that grandparents can serve this treasured purpose, as well.

    Despite what I like to think about being gifted with an exceptional memory, I have no vivid recollections of my parents reading to me in my childhood. I’m sure they did, but I don’t remember it happening. What I do recall is being sent to my room “to read” when I got into trouble. Once inside my room, rarely, if ever, did I actually do any reading. Kate DiCamillo, a prolific writer of books for children, offered an insightful warning about this. She said, “Reading should not be presented to children as a chore, a duty. It should be offered as a gift.” For whatever reason, I did not embrace a love for reading until my adult years.

    When our boys were growing up, Kathy did more of the reading to them than I did. Our home was filled with children’s books, and our boys loved them. Some of them we read so many times that, even today, we can readily recite the text: “Pickle things you never see, like pickles on a Christmas tree…” As they got older, I recall sitting at their bedside reading Shel Silverstein poems and The Cremation of Sam McGee time and time again. They loved it when I read to them! I also remember reading aloud entire books over a period of time, including The Cay by Theodore Taylor. As I reflect back on those years, I wish I had devoted even more time to reading both to and with them.

    While The Cay is recommended reading for children in grades 4 to 8, the book was banned in some places due to it’s portrayal of Timothy, a Black man who played a major role in the book. Banned? I firmly agree with Maya Angelou, who said, “Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.”

    In my retirement years, I have had much more time to read — for myself and with my grandkids. All five our our little ones have thoroughly enjoyed reading books, especially when we sit and read to and with them. Today, Henry and I sat in a chair in the living room and read five of his favorite children’s books — some of them more than once. He seemed to enjoy it immensely, and it was time with him that I cherished. It began when he randomly pulled a book off the bookshelf of kids’ books, walked over to where I was sitting, handed it to me, and climbed up onto my lap. How could I resist? Why would I resist? It was the highlight of my day!

    Reading to our grandkids is one of the most fulfilling experiences of my entire life. I’m not sure who enjoyed today more,… Henry or me? 

  • November 13

    Reflection Question of the Day for November 13: 

    “What is the kindest thing someone has said to you in the past month? How did you express your gratitude for their kind words?”

    Excerpt from: 

    A Focus on Gratitude
    Kevin Carroll
    (Balboa Press, 2024)

  • November 12

    Reflection Question of the Day for November 12: 

    “What can you do for someone today to show them that you care about them and are grateful for their presence in your life?”

    Excerpt from: 

    A Focus on Gratitude
    Kevin Carroll
    (Balboa Press, 2024)

  • November 11

    Reflection Question of the Day for November 11: 

    “There are many things we all take for granted in life. For what reason(s) are you grateful for the existence of first-responders (police officers, firefighters, paramedics, etc.) in your life?”

    Excerpt from: 

    A Focus on Gratitude
    Kevin Carroll
    (Balboa Press, 2024)

  • Conversations

    [AI generated image. No, that is not me!]

    “Simple conversation 
    turns strangers into 
    acquaintances.”
    Jim Manney

    I can be a bit of an extrovert, though not in every situation. There are times when I prefer to stand back and observe what’s happening around me without being the center of attention. Generally speaking, however, my natural tendency is to engage in conversation with just about anyone I encounter throughout my day.

    As author Jim Manney stated, “Simple conversation turns strangers into acquaintances.” Simple conversation opens the door to the possibility of getting to know someone I might otherwise not have had the opportunity to know. I have found it to be a valuable social skill.

    Living in Silicon Valley, I encounter many people who are not from here. They might be high tech workers from the East Coast, the Midwest, the Pacific Northwest, or one of the southern states. They might also be from Mexico, Iran, the Ukraine, the Philippines, Ireland, Columbia, India, Japan, El Salvador, China, Spain, Vietnam, or any number of other countries. I’ve been told by many people I’ve met that it’s unusual for them to meet someone who is “from here,” meaning the greater San Francisco Bay Area. When we engage in conversation, there is so much for me to learn from them about their culture, their families, their careers, and their lived experience. 

    Being a native San Franciscan, it is a common occurrence for me to meet people I don’t know who were born and raised in The City and with whom I have mutual friends or experiences. The predictable first question of a conversation between two native San Franciscans is “So where’d you go to school?” Both know that the question is asking which high school in The City they attended. More often than not, this opens the door to lively conversations about shared experiences, mutual acquaintances, and cherished memories.  

    It has been said about me that I could “carry on a conversation with a fire hydrant.” (Now who would have said that???) The funny thing is, I can’t disagree. Yes, engaging in conversation with just about anyone is something with which I am incredibly comfortable. I’ve always been this way, which is why, in the 1960s, one of my elderly neighbors on 38th Avenue in The City bestowed upon me the unofficial title of The Ambassador of 38th Avenue. I went out of my way, even as a young boy, to interact with my neighbors.

    Perhaps not all would agree, but I consider this ability to be a God-given gift. I am energized by meeting new people. Conversations with neighbors and friends, for the most part, are enjoyable and life-giving. Those simple, initial opportunities to chit-chat with people upon first meeting them open the door to the possibility of deeper, more meaningful conversations in the future. For this, I am grateful.