A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • Six Weeks

    “Start where you are.
    Use what you have.
    Do what you can.”
    Arthur Ashe

    Six weeks ago today, on the morning of June 5th, Brendan was completing the first of his three workouts per day at 24 Hour Fitness in San José. Just a few months earlier, he had launched his new business — True Form Basketball. He had already started working with a number of clients for whom he provided individual basketball training, and was looking forward to slowly growing his business.

    That morning, as Brendan drove to the hoop and elevated for a slam dunk, the patellar tendon in his right knee ruptured. The next day, he underwent surgery to repair the damaged tendon. The six weeks since that surgery have been spent patiently waiting for the tendon to grow together again. Brendan’s leg has been immobilized, yet it is weight-bearing. His physical therapy appointment last week went well. The therapist told him that she was impressed with his overall physical condition and pleased with the progress he’s made with the knee so far. She encouraged him, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”

    This past Saturday, Brendan and I went for a walk. With his leg still in a brace to immobilize the knee, we walked from our home in West San José to Santana Row, then across the street to the Valley Fair Westfield Mall where we did even more walking. On a number of occasions, I asked Brendan how he was feeling. Each time he indicated that the knee felt good.

    Before heading back home, we stopped for a break at Tony & Alba’s Pizza & Pasta to enjoy a cold beer. I don’t know that a beer has ever tasted better than it did that day. We then headed back home. In all, we walked just over six miles (15,000+ steps). Along the way, we enjoyed non-stop conversation on a variety of topics. It was a delightful day.

    Brendan’s attitude throughout this ordeal has been impressive. At no point did he get discouraged. At no point did he point a finger of blame at anyone else. At no point did he take his eyes off his ultimate goal, which is to get healthy and back to work providing personal training for basketball players of all levels. 

    The doctor informed Brendan from the outset that recovery would be a 6-12-month process. Brendan has not forgotten this, but with his positive attitude, his courage to challenge himself a bit, and his willingness to do the recommended exercises, I get a sense that, perhaps, he will be back to 100% sooner than predicted.  

  • This Moment

    “In the name of God,
    stop a moment,
    cease your work,
    look around you.” 
    Leo Tolstoy

    This moment, this very moment as you read these words, will never happen again. In fact, it’s gone already. It is a part of your history. You may not retrieve it, nor may you re-live it. This is the reality of life, and this is precisely why it is crucial that we give adequate attention to the present moment.

    I think it’s safe to say that we are all guilty of overlooking the present moment from time to time — some more often than others. The degree of mindfulness required to stay focused on the present moment is incalculable, if it is even possible. It seems to be human nature to constantly reflect back on our past and to anticipate our future. These are both acceptable and sensible practices. The problem arises when we get stuck on one or the other at the expense of missing out on today. Our lives become more meaningful when we realize the simple fact that we will never get the same moment twice.

    Maya Angelou, acknowledging the common practice of not being conscious of the present moment, wrote, “If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present… gratefully.”

    American psychologist Abraham Maslow issued a valid reason for making an effort to stay in the present. He said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” I would think so. When we find ourselves preoccupied with thinking about the past, we often experience a sense of frustration or regret, wishing that we had said or done things differently. And when we find our attention fixed on the future, we can be overcome with fear and anxiety as we anticipate all the worst-case scenarios which we may, in fact, never experience.

    Natalie Imbruglia is a songwriter and actress from Sidney, Australia. She voiced a concern shared by many when she said, “Enjoy every moment: you never know when things might change.” Most of us, I would think, have already experienced such a time in our lives, often resulting in feelings of regret. Things do change. That’s how life works. All the more reason to pay closer attention to what’s happening in our lives at the present moment. 

    In 1979, Mother Teresa of Calcutta was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her humanitarian work in India. In 2016, she was canonized a saint in the Catholic Church. These are achievements most of us don’t expect to replicate in our lifetime. She once said, “Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.” While I am inspired by these words, I am well aware that her advice is incredibly challenging for most of us.

    The two take-away words for today are present and grateful. Thank you for taking these few moments of your life to read today’s blog post. I hope it was well worth your time and attention.

  • Write Your Story

    “There’s no greater
    agony than bearing
    an untold story
    inside you.” 
    Maya Angelou

    Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone! Sadly, many believe that their story is insignificant and not worthy of being shared. People often think that their existence has had no real impact on the world or on the lives of those around them. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    Over the past few years, I have encouraged several individuals to write and publish their stories. Some have completed the task. Some are currently working on their manuscript. Others are still thinking about it, perhaps not yet convinced that their story is worth telling, or believing they don’t have the writing skills to do it.

    One person currently working on his manuscript is Pat Maguire, owner of Java Beach Café in San Francisco. Pat has had enough unique life experiences to fill the pages of several books, but he’s starting with one. A few months back, I had a lengthy conversation with Pat at his café at LaPlaya & Judah Streets. (There’s a second location at 45th & Sloat.) He share with me just a few of the myriad experiences he has endured in his lifetime. I encouraged him to share his story with others.

    Today, I would like to share nine quotes from writers. My hope is that their wisdom will give you the confidence and courage to tell your story — a story only you can tell.

    • “Here’s the thing: The book that will most change your life is the book you write.” ~ Seth Godin

    • “Write about what should not be forgotten.” ~ Isabel Allende

    • “Start telling the stories that only you can tell, because there will always be better writers than you and there’ll always be smarter writers than you. There will always be people who are much better at doing this or doing that — but you are the only you.” ~ Neil Gaiman

    • “I think new writers are too worried that it has all been said before. Sure it has, but not by you.” ~ Asha Dornfest

    • “Don’t forget — no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories that you have to tell.” ~ Charles de Lint

    • “Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart should care about. It is this genuine caring, not your games with language, which will be the most compelling and seductive element in your style.” ~ Stephen King

    • “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” ~ Anne Lamott

    • “Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” ~ Angela Duckworth

    • “Don’t be seduced into thinking that that which does not make a profit is without value.” ~ Arthur Miller

    I’ll end with this today: First drafts don’t have to be perfect. They just have to be written. And it’s okay to begin writing even if you don’t have a clear vision of what you’re going to write. Just write. You cannot edit a blank page!

  • What’s It All About?

    ”You do the
    Hokey Pokey
    and you turn
    yourself around.
    That’s what it’s
    all about!” 
    Larry LaPrise

    Yeah,… What is it all about? If your answer is “Alfie,” you’re old. The incomparable recording artist, Cher, sang this tune, written by Burt Bacharach, in 1966, two months prior to the release of the movie, Alfie. In the movie, according to Wikipedia, “The narrative follows a young, womanizing man leading a self-centered life, focused on his own enjoyment until events force him to question his uncaring behavior, his loneliness, and his priorities.”

    This sounds like a modern day drama that could take place just about anywhere. I’ve never seen the movie, so I can’t really say much more about it, but it seems that the young man is contemplating the ultimate meaning of life. I won’t try to address this topic in a simple blog post. Instead, I’ll write briefly today about the meaning of A Beacon of Light. What is this blog all about? That’s a question I can answer with a degree of certainty.

    After sixteen years of writing on the topic of gratitude in my Attitude of Gratitude blog, I decided to launch A Beacon of Light in 2022. My intent with this new blog was and is to focus on what’s good in life — good vibes only. I don’t want to talk about politics. I have no desire to proselytize. I’m not interested in highlighting the negativity which exists in our world. We get enough of that from various media sources every day.

    This blog is devoted to positivity. Life is not perfect, but I do believe it is overwhelmingly good. Yes, there is evil in our world. I am convinced, however, that there is far more good than evil. We are inundated with information, and often misinformation, about the reality of evil each day on television news reports. This is precisely why I believe that evil is the exception, rather than the norm. News reports tend to focus on the unusual, the surprising, the outrageous, and the destructive things going on in the world. This is precisely what makes the stories newsworthy.

    The good in the world is the norm. It doesn’t make for interesting news. It fails to get the attention it deserves because it doesn’t enhance TV ratings. Ratings are what bring advertising dollars to the networks. The more outlandish the news story, the higher the ratings. The higher the ratings, the greater the profits for stockholders.

    What’s it all about? It’s about the best-kept secret in the world today: that people are basically good; that life is basically good; and that we can choose to focus on the good if we have the desire to do so.

    As Viktor Frankl pointed out in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” In this blog, I choose positivity, and I want to share this positivity with all who take the time to read what I’ve written. Like so many other attitudes, positivity is contagious. Together, we have the potential to launch an epidemic of positivity. 

  • Hurtful Words

    “Words are potent weapons
    for all causes, good or bad.”
    Manly Hall

    I remember them. You probably remember them, too — hurtful words that people have said to us or about us. I don’t think anyone is immune from the cruelty of others spewing malicious words with the sole intention of making us feel bad about ourselves. 

    This issue is addressed in the old adage: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This is a lie — one of many lies we are told in our childhood. It may be a convenient response for adults to share when a child has been victimized by verbal abuse from others, but it’s simply not true. 

    Even at the ripe old age of 71, I have vivid recollections of unkind words spoken to me by a variety of people at different times in my life — words uttered with no other purpose than to hurt me. I remember hearing them from classmates on the school yard in elementary school. I’ve heard them from teachers in the classroom, coaches on the field,  and neighbors at Homeowner Association meetings. I’ve even been the recipient of vicious words from individuals from whom one would never expect to hear such venomous rhetoric. These words are most likely not remembered by those who verbalized them. For the recipient of such words, however, as much as we might like to forget what was said to us, our memories do not afford such a luxury. Words have a way of sticking in our mind and heart, and having a profoundly negative impact on our spirit.

    In his book, The Alien, writer Anoir Ou-Chad wrote, “Hurtful words lacerate the heart. Although it may heal over time, scars will never completely disappear.” It really is remarkable how hurtful words can unexpectedly return to one’s consciousness years after they’ve been uttered. They have the ability to replay in our mind, resurrecting the pain we experienced at the time they were spoken.

    A short poem, attributed to Ruby Redfort, the main character in a series of children’s books by Lauren Child, challenges the traditional “Sticks and Stones” rhyme:

    Sticks and stones
    may break my bones,
    but words can
    also hurt me.
    Stones and sticks
    break only skin,
    while words are
    ghosts that haunt me.

    Slant and curved
    the word-swords fall,
    it pierces and
    sticks inside me.
    Bats and bricks
    may ache through bones,
    but words can
    mortify me.

    Pakistani-Egyptian writer Aisha Mirza wrote, “It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.” Aisha has been there. She understands.

    Words, once spoken, are irretrievable. This is a life lesson we should share with children at an early age, and revisit with middle school students, high school students, and again in the young adult years. In fact, this is one of those fundamental life lessons of which we need to be reminded in every stage of life. Sadly, it’s not only kids who use words as weapons. 

  • Acts of Kindness

    “How beautiful a day
    can be when kindness
    touches it.” 
    George Elliston

    My cousin, Debbie, and I get together for brunch once each month. We’ve enjoyed meals at Jack’s in San Bruno, Copenhagen Bakery in Burlingame, Buck’s in Woodside, and a number of other fine dining establishments up and down the peninsula. Yesterday, we met at the Sunrise Café in Pacifica, just a few blocks from Debbie’s home. It was another one of those dark, damp, foggy mornings along the coast, but the warmth of the café more than made up for the gloomy weather outside.

    Although it was around noon time, the restaurant was not crowded when we arrived. Deb and I sat in a booth. A few others were sitting at other tables and one gentleman was sitting alone at the counter on a swivel stool.

    A young woman with two young boys, ages 7 and 2, sat at the booth behind us. The boys were quite active. The younger one liked walking up and down the aisle turning all the empty swivel chairs along the counter. His older brother seemed content to watch, quite entertained by his young sibling’s antics. At one point, the little one noticed something on one of the counter seats. It was a small crumb. With the precision of a surgeon, he picked it up with two fingers, walked directly to me, and placed it in my hand. I thanked him profusely for such a kind gift. He was clearly quite proud of himself.

    A while later, the two-year-old again approached me with a “special gift.” I opened my hand and he placed the small item gently on my palm. To be honest, I’m not sure what it was. Another crumb, perhaps? Or was that a booger? Again, I told him how much I appreciated his generosity. His smile lit up the room.

    On their way out, the woman and the boys stopped at our table for a moment. The boys wanted to say goodbye, while their mother thanked us for our tolerance and patience. The boys gave me fist-bumps. When they got up to the cash register, the boys waved to me again as their mother paid the bill. As the trio walked out the café door, the boys were smiling and still waving goodbye. It was one of those feel-good experiences.

    A while later, when Debbie and I finished our meal and asked for the check, the waitress told us that the woman with the two young boys had paid for our lunches. Debbie and I were pleasantly surprised. I’ve seen that done by others, and both Debbie and I have done that ourselves for others, but this was the first time either of us had been the recipient of such kindness. We were both deeply touched by her generosity.

    Actor Morgan Freeman once posed a question, and immediately answered it. He asked, “How do we change the world?” In the next breath, he said, “One random act of kindness at a time.”

    Every day, each of us has an opportunity to make a positive difference in the lives of others. Yesterday’s act of kindness is just one example of what we can do to bring more positivity into the world. We are all invited and challenged to look for, and take advantage of, opportunities to be kind to others. A simple act of kindness creates feelings of joy and gratitude in others. It creates a similar response in us. 

  • Interdependence

    “There is no joy
    in possession
    without sharing.” 
    Erasmus

    I am not overly fond of the words “they” and “them.” These seemingly harmless words have the potential to convey, in some ways, that “I” am not a part of “them,” or that “they” are not a part of “us.” Of course, these words are essential to basic communication, but I think we need to be both cautious and conscious of how we use them.

    Last Thursday evening, because the washer and dryer in our home is out of commission until some repair work is completed in our laundry room, I drove down to the local laundromat on Williams Road. Kathy and I have lived in our home for almost 39 years. This was my first visit to this laundromat. Only a handful of customers were using the facilities and, since it had been so long since I’d been in a laundromat, I wasn’t quite sure how to use the machines. Everything was a little different, and significantly more expensive, than the place where I did my laundry back in the early 80s.

    It appeared that every customer in the laundromat spoke Spanish as their first language. For some, I’m sure it was their only language. I approached a middle-aged woman who I suspected might have ample experience using the facilities. I asked her to show me how things needed to be done. Her English speaking skills were more than sufficient for us to have a delightful conversation, and for her to teach me how to navigate the ins and outs of today’s laundromat. 

    Many people might enter such an environment believing that the other customers were “them,” and be too pretentious to ask them for assistance. I don’t speak Spanish. Yet there we were, all with a common need — to get our laundry done. I was a part of them, and I am a part of them, beyond my need for clean clothes.  

    The woman who helped me was, without a doubt, an angel sent by God! She was kind, patient, and meticulous as she overcame her shyness and limited English skills to instruct me on how to operate the machines. To say that I was grateful is an understatement.

    Archbishop Desmond Tutu said, “The fundamental law of human beings is interdependence.” Humans are mutually reliant on each other for many things. We need professionals to take care of our medical and dental needs. I need an auto mechanic to care for my car. We all need other drivers on the road to operate their vehicles carefully and responsibly so that we can arrive safely at our destination. We need farmworkers in this and other countries to harvest the fruits and vegetables we enjoy at our meals. And last Thursday evening, I needed the woman in the laundromat to share her expertise on how to operate the washers and dryers. 

    Similarly, I have opportunities to be of assistance others — by proofreading a manuscript, writing a letter of recommendation, tutoring a student, motivating someone to share their life story with others in their own book, reaching for an item on the top shelf in a grocery store, helping a neighbor carry groceries into their home,… The list has no end.  

    Interdependence is a gift. It is a sign of neither superiority nor inferiority. We are all gifted in different ways. As Cesar Chavez told us, “Our ambitions must be broad enough to include the aspirations and needs of others, for their sake and for ours.”   

    Chavez also reminds us, “You are never strong enough that you don’t need help.”

  • Public Transportation

    “You can’t understand a
    city without using its public
    transportation system.” 
    Erol Ozan

    Growing up in San Francisco, I relied on public transportation quite regularly. In my elementary school years, I would take the #72 bus from the corner of Sunset Boulevard & Vicente Street to 5th and Market to visit my Dad at his fire station on Jesse Street. I would take the “L” Taraval streetcar from 38th & Taraval to the Parkside Library at 22nd Avenue. I often took the #18 Sloat bus across the Sunset District to soccer games and practices at Beach Chalet in Golden Gate Park. These trips did not require the accompaniment of an adult. Taking public transportation was safe, even for kids.

    In my freshman year of high school, I’d take the #72 to 19th & Lincoln, where I’d catch the #28 to get to the other side of Golden Gate Park. There, I would hop on either the #5 McAllister or #31 Balboa bus for the ride up the hill to St. Ignatius High School, which was then on Stanyan Street, adjacent to the University of San Francisco. For the next three years of high school, I could walk to the new S.I. campus, located just five blocks from our home.

    When I moved to San José in 1972, public transportation was unreliable. My only viable option was to rely on my 10-speed bicycle to get around. I could use the Greyhound bus or Southern Pacific train to get me from San José to The City, but local public transportation was virtually nonexistent in the Santa Clara Valley.

    Through the years, both VTA (Santa Clara Valley Transit Authority) and CalTrain, which replaced Southern Pacific trains, have become quite reliable. I use them quite often.

    In my retirement, I enjoy regular visits to San Francisco, for which I rely on public transportation. I take CalTrain from Santa Clara to 4th & Townsend. From there, I can take the “N” Judah out to Ocean Beach, the “L” Taraval to my childhood neighborhood in the Sunset District, or the #30 Stockton bus to either North Beach or Crissy Field. It’s a convenient way to get around, since my Clipper Card can be used on all forms of transportation. Other than that, I walk from one place to another.

    Gustavo Petro, the President of Colombia, said, “A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. It’s where the rich use public transportation.” A handful of rich and famous Americans, such as actor Keanu Reeves, choose to use public transportation, but the percentage of those who do so is miniscule. This is a sad reality, as the most influential members of our community are missing out on experiencing the daily lived reality of average Americans. 

    As comedian Chris Gethard said, “Public transportation is like a magnifying glass that shows you civilization up close.” We need to be more attentive to this.

  • A Quick Trip

    “Woke up this morning
    in the city of Angels.” 
    Thirty Seconds to Mars Band

    Although I never saw the 1987 movie, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, starring Steve Martin and John Candy, there’s something catchy about the title. I thought about it this morning as I considered what to write about in my blog today. When I’m home, my car and CalTrain are common modes of transportation for me. This weekend, we relied on Alaska Airlines to get around.

    Kathy and I did, indeed, wake up in the city of Angels this morning. We jumped on a 6:16 a.m. flight from San José to LAX yesterday morning, then took a short ten-minute taxi ride up the hill to the campus of Loyola-Marymount University. My brother, Tom, lives and works at LMU. He organized an orientation meeting for those who will be joining him, and Fr. Randy Roche, S.J., for a two-week pilgrimage in September. They will visit a number of sites related to the life of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuit Order, in Spain and Rome. Kathy will be participating in this journey, so the gathering provided the opportunity for her to meet some of the other travelers. 

    When Kathy told me about the meeting, I suggested that we go together. While she was getting updated on the details of the pilgrimage, I had the opportunity to spend the afternoon with a friend who lives in Long Beach. Angellie picked me up on campus at 12:30. We headed down to LaPlaya, a short ten-minute drive from LMU, where we enjoyed a delightful meal at Playa Provisions. After lunch, we walked along the Ballora Creek Bike Path at Toes Beach. Given that it was a Saturday afternoon, there were many beachgoers enjoying the sun and playing volleyball on the sandy beach. Others were riding bikes, jogging, or walking, many with dogs, along the bike path. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend the afternoon. 

    Angellie and I then joined Kathy and the pilgrimage group for Mass in the chapel of the Jesuit residence at LMU. 

    After Mass, Kathy, Tom, and I took a relaxing one-mile walk down to the Manchester Restaurant for dinner. When I think about the calories I consumed at lunch and dinner, I’m not sure that the 17,000 steps I took yesterday compensated sufficiently for the overindulgence. No regrets, though. Both lunch and dinner were thoroughly enjoyable.

    When we arrived back on the LMU campus, we were treated to the sunset pictured above. The view from the bluff at Loyola-Marymount is spectacular and our timing could not have been better. There was a window of only about two minutes for me to take this photo before the sun set. 

    Kathy and I will return to San José later today. It was a quick trip, but one that was both enriching and enjoyable for both of us.

  • Feelin’ Good

    “Health is not valued
    until sickness comes.” 
    Thomas Fuller

    This past Wednesday, I drove over to Kaiser Medical Center in Santa Clara for my annual physical examination. My primary care physician, Dr. Pratheepa Singh, is conscientious, caring, and competent. I am blessed to have had her as my doctor for the past several years. I arrived at Kaiser confident that I was in relatively good physical condition. Dr. Singh confirmed this with her evaluation.

    Yes, I’m feelin’ good! This has not always been true. Just two years ago, my weight was alarmingly high, my blood pressure needed attention, and my sedentary lifestyle was beginning to take a toll on my overall health and quality of life. I knew it was time to make some changes. I’ve dropped the excess weight I’d been carrying around for many years. My blood pressure is now right where it should be. My eating habits are significantly improved. And I’ve been walking 7,000 to 12,000 steps per day on average. Dr. Singh approves of these changes in my life.

    I always knew I should be exercising more, but I used every excuse possible to justify why I didn’t have time to do so. It was the words of Edward Stanley that motivated me to make some changes in my life. He said, “Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” Fortunately, I got the message before it was too late.

    In addition to regular exercise, responsible eating is also a requirement for good health. Sadly, for the longest time, I ignored the warnings of so many that I was making food choices that were not only detrimental to my health, but downright dangerous. Pizza, pasta, baked goods, candy, donuts, burgers and fries,… These foods, combined with enormous portion sizes, have become the standard fare for many Americans. This might explain the national obesity epidemic plaguing America today. Mark Twain sarcastically encouraged such an attitude when he quipped, “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” 

    Mahatma Gandhi offered much wiser words of wisdom. He said, “It is health that is the real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” It’s pretty clear that in order to have good health, we must consistently make good decisions. Our good health is advantageous not only to us. It is the greatest gift we can give to our loved ones.

    Morgan Spurlock was the filmmaker who rocked America with his controversial documentary Super Size Me. In that film, Spurlock ate only McDonald’s food for thirty days, resulting in a gain of 25 pounds and an alarming spike in his cholesterol levels. His words are straight and to the point: “Sorry, there’s no magic bullet. You gotta eat healthy and live healthy to be healthy and look healthy. End of story.”