My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

• April 2026
• March 2026
• February 2026
• January 2026
• December 2025
• November 2025
• October 2025
• September 2025
• August 2025
• July 2025
• June 2025
• May 2025
• April 2025
• March 2025
• February 2025
• January 2025
• December 2024
• November 2024
• October 2024
• September 2024
• August 2024
• July 2024
• June 2024
• May 2024
• April 2024
• March 2024
• February 2024
• January 2024
• December 2023
• November 2023
• October 2023
• September 2023
• August 2023
• July 2023
• June 2023
• May 2023
• April 2023
• March 2023
• February 2023
• January 2023
• December 2022
• November 2022

“Coach Wooden was a humble, private man who
selflessly gave up his life to make other people’s lives better…
He gave us the necessary tools to overcome the
adversity and obstacles that he knew from the beginning
would always be in our way.”

~ Bill Walton

Steve Jamison is a bestselling author who is considered to be the preeminent authority on the life, leadership, and legacy of former UCLA men’s basketball coach John Wooden. In the preface to the 1979 book Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court, which he co-authored with Coach Wooden, Jamison wrote these words:

“Coach Wooden is pure of heart, modest, trusting,
humble, understated, serene, without pretense
or hidden agenda, sincere, straightforward,
intelligent, quick, confident, and filled with such
profound human decency and tremendous
inner strength that it is humbling.”

Wow! Could anyone possibly live up to such a depiction? The answer is a definitive “Yes.” In fact, these are just a few of the positive traits which have been used to describe the man who was so much more than just a college basketball coach. Yes, UCLA won ten National Championships during the Wooden era, and yes, his teams had an 88-game winning streak in the early ‘70s, yet these achievements pale in comparison to the profound difference he made in the lives of the young men he coached.

I had the pleasure of meeting Coach Wooden in June 1974. One of my jobs at that time was serving as the liaison between Bellarmine College Preparatory in San José and various organizations who rented the school facilities, particularly the Bellarmine dormitory where I lived. One of the first groups to occupy the dorm that summer was the Wooden-Sharman Basketball Camp. Coach Wooden collaborated with Bill Sharman, the head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers at that time, to offer a ten-day program for young boys to improve their basketball skills. 

One particular morning, when I went to the dining hall for an early breakfast, I was surprised to find that Coach Wooden had arrived before me and was already seated enjoying his meal. I got my breakfast in the kitchen and walked out to the dining area. Given that he was the only other person in the large hall, I asked if I could join him at his table. He kindly agreed.

In less than an hour of conversation, I became a fan of Coach Wooden. In fact, I would even say I became a protégé of the legendary coach, even though we never met again after that week. He was quite comfortable sharing the stories about experiences he had endured and lessons he had learned which had changed his life for the better. Before he checked-out at the end of the week, he provided me with a handout on the mechanics of free throw shooting, a copy of his Pyramid of Success, and a desire to learn more about this amazing man.

Even though our paths never crossed after that summer, I have always considered Coach Wooden to be a valued mentor. I’ve read (and re-read) several books written by him and about him. I’ve listened multiple times to a TED Talk he recorded in March 2009. I have also made an effort, though often unsuccessfully, to emulate the integrity with which he lived his life. Coach Wooden was definitely one of a kind.

“I wonder how many people 
I’ve looked at all my life 
and never seen.”

~ John Steinbeck

These words from American author John Steinbeck can be found in his book, The Winter of Our Discontent, the last novel he published. While a major theme of this work is the effect of societal pressure, this is not what I want to write about today. Rather, I’d like to focus on the quote above. I find these words to be both challenging and a bit bothersome.

There are many needs we have as humans: love, appreciation, and recognition, to name a few. It’s this last need — recognition — that comes to mind when I ponder Steinbeck’s words above. I’m fairly certain that I’m not alone in wondering how many people in my life, people I have encountered on a regular basis, I failed to acknowledge. 

Some of these individuals, such as the homeless man or woman begging for money outside the local grocery store, may be people we notice, but consciously choose to ignore. Others, however, may be people with whom we feel we have no meaningful connection. This category of people might include the baristas at our local Starbucks, sales people in retail stores, postal service letter carriers, or landscapers who maintain the property where we live or work. Others in this category might include receptionists in offices, random people walking around in our neighborhood, or coworkers with whom we have minimal direct contact.

Unfortunately, it is quite common that people fail to see some of their neighbors — the elderly in the community, or people with disabilities. Some of these individuals describe the experience of feeling invisible, well aware that there are people who don’t want to see or acknowledge them.

So what are we supposed to do… say hello to every random person we pass on the street? Well, that IS a viable option. And why not? A simple nod of the head, accompanied by eye contact, lets the other person know that, if nothing else, you noticed them and acknowledged their presence. A gentle “Good morning!” can do the same thing. In fact, it might be the only “Good morning!” the person hears all day. 

Steinbeck’s words challenge me to consider how many people I have ignored or taken for granted in my lifetime. I know I’m guilty of doing this, though as I’ve gotten older, I’ve made a more concerted effort to consciously acknowledge others, and even to engage them in conversation. More often than not, the experience of doing so has been positive. We all want and need to be loved, appreciated, and recognized by our fellow humans. I’m grateful for the opportunity to remind myself and others that no one deserves to be treated as though they were invisible.  

After several years of drought here in California, we are finally getting some rain. In fact, we’re getting quite a bit of rain. This is a good thing… in the long run. For the moment, however, the heavy rains, accompanied by strong winds, have caused a number of floods and mudslides throughout the Bay Area and up and down the California coastline. Not surprisingly, the weather here has been highlighted on both the local and national news.

It’s strange, though, that the national news reporters are using the term “bomb cyclone” to refer to the unusual conditions here. Local weather reporters have fallen in love with the term “atmospheric river,” which, I believe, is the same thing they used to call the “pineapple express,” since many of these storms originate near Hawaii. As for those of us living here, we simply call it “wind and rain.” 

The conditions do seem severe, but I’m wondering if that is due to the fact that we have not experienced storms like these in quite some time. Certainly the region has experienced similar conditions in years past, but it’s been so long since we’ve gotten a good soaking over a prolonged period of time that we just don’t remember what it’s like to cope with such conditions. The strong winds just exacerbate the situation. 

Fortunately, I have not yet been inconvenienced by the recent weather. There has been no flooding in my immediate area, and, so far, the trees in the neighborhood seem to be withstanding the elements heroically. I do think twice, however, about leaving home. If there is no absolute need to go somewhere, I’m happy to stay home. Scenes on the TV newscasts of mudslides, and of cars stuck on flooded roadways and underpasses, reinforce my desire to stay put.

Another significant wind and rain event will arrive about 2:00 a.m. tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. It is expected to continue through the morning commute. The afternoon should be fairly mild. I’m scheduled to drive my granddaughter to her preschool class at 8:30 a.m. The school is located in Saratoga. I’ll most certainly be checking both weather and road conditions before venturing out on the roads.   

We dealt with several years of drought,
our lawns all turned to brown.
Conserving water was the norm.
Couldn’t always flush it down. 

We’d prayed for rain for quite some time,
but little did we get.
For years we went about our days,
without us getting wet. 

But now, in 2023,
our lives are not the same,
‘cause someone turned the faucet on.
We’re finally getting rain! 

The news reports are calling it
an atmospheric river.
Torrential rain and howling winds
are causing us to shiver.

Streets are flooded, trees are down,
it’s really quite a mess.
It’s leaving many homeowners
aghast and in distress.

They say there’s much more rain to come
within the next few weeks. 
I pray for those who live along
the rivers and the creeks. 

For me, of course, I’m grateful for
the answer to our prayers.
Yet, still, I am concerned for those
whose homes will need repairs.

“This, too, shall pass,” is what’s been said.
Resilience is the key.
Still California Dreamin’!
That’s the way it’s meant to be.

© kmc 2023

“Beware of little expenses;
a small leak will sink a great ship.”

~ Benjamin Franklin

I stopped at Sprout’s to pick up some bread yesterday. I knew we had lunchmeat at home, but our bread supply was low the last time I checked, so I wanted to be sure I could make a sandwich when I got home. I was hungry. As I returned to my car after checking-out at the store, I noticed that Five Guys Burgers was just a few steps away from my car. Suddenly, I had a craving for a hot dog with grilled onions, fries, and a vanilla shake. 

Ka-ching! $20.17

Recently, on my way home from wherever I had been, I stopped for a hot drink at a local Starbucks. The weather was cold, and a bit drizzly that afternoon, so I felt justified in treating myself. I ordered a grande hot chocolate, with whipped cream, of course. The cashier asked if I would like anything else. I had no intention of making another purchase, but I took a quick glance at the items in the display case next to the register. The cinnamon coffee cake immediately caught my eye. $3.25 for the hot chocolate. $3.55 for the cinnamon coffee cake.

Ka-ching! $6.80

Not too long ago, Kathy and I were enjoying another excellent dinner at Mio Vicino Italian Restaurant in Santa Clara. As our meal was coming to an end, the server politely asked Kathy if she would like another glass of wine. After a brief hesitation, and with a word of encouragement from me, she accepted the server’s offer.

Ka-ching! $16.00 for the extra glass of wine

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these purchases. They do, however, provide excellent examples of how easy it is to spend money unnecessarily every day. What makes these purchases even easier is the convenience of paying by credit card. We don’t see the cash leaving our hands when we make these purchases. They simply add up throughout the month and appear on our credit card statement, which we, sometimes thoughtlessly, pay. 

$27.40 isn’t a lot of money. It’s hardly going to break the bank. But as we go through our day, each day, making a variety of random, unnecessary purchases, it doesn’t take long for us to reach the $27.40 level. Now multiply that times the number of days in a year. That’s where the cost gets our attention.

Ka-ching! $10,000!

By no means am I suggesting that we deprive ourselves of enjoying some of the things we desire. It is essential, however, that we embrace the practice of conscious spending. I thoroughly enjoy an occasional hot chocolate from a local coffee shop. I believe there is tremendous value in going out to dinner with Kathy on a fairly regular basis. Since I am most often the designated driver, it’s okay for Kathy to enjoy that second glass of wine from time to time, too. The problem arises when we fail to pay adequate attention to our spending habits. Mature adults must practice the art of conscious spending. By doing so, we can avoid falling prey to the addiction of thoughtless, irresponsible purchasing.  

I remember the simple song I heard, and occasionally sang, when I was a child: “Rain, rain, go away, come again another day…”

We don’t hear that song so much anymore — at least not here in California. We’ve been in desperate need of rain for several years now. Local reservoirs dropped to alarmingly low levels. Water conservation became a top priority up and down the state. Church communities, as well as individual persons of faith, have been praying for rain for several years. It seems that their prayers have been answered.

As of this morning, the City of San Francisco has received 154% of its average rainfall to date. San José isn’t far behind at 121%. And the local weather report this morning called for more “atmospheric rivers” to arrive both this week and next!

I thoroughly enjoy experiencing the rain… from inside. Whether I’m at home, in my car, or sitting in a local coffee shop with a cinnamon roll and hot chocolate, a good rain storm nourishes my soul. So rain is good, right? Well,… that depends.

A friend of mine lives in the hills above Redwood City, which is located about halfway between San José and San Francisco. Recent rains have caused significant damage to his home. Two downstairs offices, a bathroom, a supply room, and parts of his garage were seriously flooded this past weekend. With more rain predicted for this week and next, things may even get worse. 

Due to the fact that similar flooding has affected many others in his neighborhood, my friend has had a difficult time finding a water damage company that isn’t already overloaded with calls. Fortunately, my friend has an amazingly positive outlook on life. His response to this crisis? “Life happens.”

Whether any particular experience is a blessing or a curse depends upon our mindset. A Jewish folktale illustrates this point. It tells the story of an old man and his strong son, on whom he relied heavily for the workload on his farm. One day, while attempting to break in a new horse, the young man was thrown from the animal. His leg shattered in two places. Neighbors came by to comfort the young man and his elderly father. “Perhaps it is a blessing, perhaps it is a curse,” the old man told them. “Only time will tell.”

Not long after the accident, a group of soldiers came into the town to conscript all the young men for military service. Because of his serious leg injury, the young man was not taken. None of the other young men returned alive from the war.  

As I mention in the introductory words of this page, I have always had a special place in my heart for lighthouses. This led to an interesting situation when I began working at Saint Lawrence Parish in Santa Clara.

The office space when I began my work there came unfurnished. I was given a budget to purchase the necessary items — desk, chairs, file cabinet, etc. Wall decorations were not included in the deal. Of course, I wanted the office to look good and complete, so I purchased four framed photos to hang on the walls. Two of the photos were images of sunsets and two were of lighthouses. 

When my first Christmas at Saint Lawrence came around, my secretary gave me a thoughtful gift. It was a beautiful lighthouse filled with Old Spice cologne. I’m not one to use cologne, but I liked the lighthouse, so I put it on my desk as a decoration. I kept it on my desk for 31 years!

The following summer, one of my other colleagues gave me a gift she purchased for me while on a trip to Hawaii with her family. It was a transparent, hard plastic paperweight with a lighthouse scene etched in it. It was nice. It, too, found a home on my desk.

As time went on, many people who came into my office or classroom noticed that I had a small collection of lighthouses. Because of this, for many years, students would give me small ceramic lighthouses from around the country as gifts at Christmas or at the end of the academic year. It ended up being quite a large collection. By the time I retired, I had more than fifty lighthouses, or pictures of lighthouses in my workspace.

I do have a special place in my heart for lighthouses, but I was unable to bring all those items home with me when I retired. I invited students in the last class I taught to select an item if they wanted one. I kept one, which now sits on my desk here in my home office.

Lighthouses provide guidance to those at sea. They point the way to safety, or, at least, they indicate areas of danger to avoid. I like to provide similar guidance with much of my writing. I like to encourage people to move forward, with confidence, in the direction of their dreams and callings. And, occasionally, I share a story or two about experiences I’ve had in my life which might help others to avoid making the same mistakes in their own lives. 

There are many lighthouses in our lives, people or resources which guide us on our life journey. It’s important that we identify them, acknowledge them, and use the light of their beacon to light the way for us. Life is challenging. We can use all the help we can get! 

Yes, a new year is upon us. Like it or not, time marches on. Is this, in itself, a reason to be happy?

I know a number of people who, at this very moment, are grieving the loss of a loved one. I know a number of people who are dealing with life-threatening illnesses. I know a number of people whose complicated and challenging life situations could be described as anything but “happy.” 

All we have to do is look around and we are sure to see people dealing with homelessness, addiction, financial concerns, violence, and various mental health issues. The political division in our country today is disconcerting. The absence of peace in many parts of our world, and the suffering of so many people living in those regions, is heartbreaking. Despite all this, we celebrate the arrival of the new year by proclaiming “Happy New Year!”

Why?

One response to this question might be that this annual proclamation is a challenge — and an invitation, perhaps, to accept the notion that happiness is a choice. I’m certainly not saying that it’s an easy choice. For many people, these are difficult times. Happiness can easily seem elusive, if not altogether unattainable. Yet, we are reminded by Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote: “The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Powerful words.

Frankl does not suggest that choosing one’s attitude is always easy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him during his time in the concentration camp in Auschwitz. He does, however, remind us that the option of choosing happiness is available to us — difficult as our circumstances may be.

Dag Hammarskjöld served as Secretary-General of the United Nations from April 1953 to the time of his death in September 1961. One of his many contributions to civilization was these simple words — words which may help us to embrace happiness in our lives, not only on New Year’s Day, but throughout the year, as well. He wrote, “For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes!” Hopeful words.

I wish you all the best in 2023. Seriously!

Steve Hartman is a broadcast journalist with CBS News. He is, perhaps, best known for his “On the Road (with Steve Hartman)” segments, which feature good people doing good things for others. I wasn’t surprised to learn that Steve is a graduate of St. John’s Jesuit High School in Toledo, Ohio. Helping others to see the good in the world, and encouraging us to make a positive difference in the world by doing good for others, is consistent with a Jesuit education. This past Wednesday evening, I watched a CBS News Special: The Gift: Kindness Goes Viral with Steve Hartman. What an inspirational hour of television!

If you missed the program, click the link above and treat yourself to a masterpiece of broadcast journalism. We don’t need to be told how important it is to be kind, but it does seem that we need to be reminded from time to time.

Every day, without exception, we have opportunities to be kind to others. How easy it is to miss out on many of these opportunities simply because we have not developed a kindness mindset. Bishop Desmond Tutu made it sound quite simple when he wrote, “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

Sadly, we often convince ourselves that we do not have the power to make a significant difference in the world. While it’s true that most of us will never be recognized for having such a profound impact on civilization that streets, schools, or public buildings will be named after us, we do, as Tutu reminds us, have the ability to affect positive change with those we encounter each day. Even if we make a difference in the life of only one person each day, we are contributing to making our world a better place.

In his CBS Special, Hartman points out that there is a ripple effect to doing good. Some call it the “pay it forward” effect. When we do something good for one person, there’s a very good chance that person will do something good for someone else. Hartman even interviewed a mathematician from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to prove the validity of this claim mathematically. 

In our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our schools or workplaces, we have the power to do kind things for others — simple things, like holding a door open, smiling, or acknowledging the presence of those we encounter as we go about our day. There are countless other opportunities to do even more. I encourage you to take the time to watch Hartman’s CBS Special. I’m confident that you will be motivated to do something good for others.  

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last confession. I have been doing, um, some things… with one of the girls in my class which the Bible says I should not be doing.”

“Oh, my,” responded Monsignor Connolly. “Johnny McCarthy, I know this is you. Did you do these things with Elizabeth Brown?”

“No, Father.”

“Was it with Michaela Martin?”

“No, Father.”

“Well then, surely you must have done these things with Priscilla O’Connor.”

“No, Father. It wasn’t her, either.”

“Oh, well,… I want you to say a three Hail Marys and make better choices in the future.”

“Yes, Father.”

When Johnny exited the confessional, his friends, Mikey and Jason, were waiting for him.

“What did he say?” Mikey asked.

“Did he give you a huge punishment?” inquired Jason.

“No, not at all,” Johnny replied. “But I did get three good leads!”

__________________

Confession, officially called The Sacrament of Penance, yet more commonly referred to as the Sacrament of Reconciliation, isn’t what it used to be. In my childhood, Saturday afternoon confessions drew a crowd. There were also lines outside the confessionals during Sunday Masses. Today, it seems as though one needs an appointment to confess their sins — and people rarely do these days. 

Some might like to believe that there is less sinning happening in our world today. I sincerely doubt it. Quite the contrary, in fact. The Sacrament of Penance, however, has become obsolete for a large number of Catholics. Dare I say most?

I’ve never particularly embraced this sacrament. First of all, I’ve never liked addressing priests with the title “Father.” This is a very special word which, for me, referred only to my biological Dad and to the first person of the Holy Trinity. (Even that one never really made sense to me. Why do we place limits on our understanding of God by attaching human qualities?) 

Is there any value to asking forgiveness for our wrongdoings? Isn’t there something noble about seeking reconciliation with those we have harmed? Of course, the answer to these two questions is affirmative. So why are “good Catholics” expected to confess sins to a priest?

I guess it helps to answer another question? When, exactly, are our sins forgiven? Is it when the priest says, “…and I absolve you of your sins…?” Or, perhaps, it is when we complete the “penance” given to us by the priest for the sins we confessed.

I attended Catholic schools from first grade (1960) through graduate school (1984). Somewhere along the way, it was brought to my attention that our sins are forgiven by God (not by a priest) when we are truly contrite for the wrongdoings we’ve done. Hmmm… So what, exactly, does that have to do with confessing our sins to a priest? It seems that it would make more sense to humbly seek forgiveness, when appropriate, from the person we harmed.

I took the photo above in Saint Ignatius Church, located on the campus of the University of San Francisco. This was a common worship space for my family throughout my formative years. I don’t know if this confessional is still used for The Sacrament of Penance. It does, however, remind me of my own sinfulness — my own need to seek reconciliation with others, and with God. I just don’t feel that I need the intervention of a priest to do so.