“There is nothing
on this earth
more to be prized
than true friendship.” 
Saint Thomas Aquinas

Elementary school friends. We have so many of them during our early childhood years. We run and play together. We accept each other without judgment. We grow together day after day and year after year without even noticing that we’re changing. We savor the time we spend together. And, sadly, we take it all for granted. It never really crosses our minds that we’ll all change, but then we transition to middle school and we are more selective about who we run and play with. No longer do we accept friends unconditionally. Cliques form, exclusion is common, we judge and are judged, and life is different for all of us. 

Eventually, we move on to other chapters in our lives — high school, college, launching a career, or, perhaps, getting married and starting a family. Responsibilities change. Interests change. Needs change. It is quite common that we lose touch with many of our elementary school friends. Despite the good times we shared and the countless hours we spent together in those early years, and without even saying goodbye, we move on. People we’d seen every day for seven, eight, even nine years are suddenly no longer a part of our lives.

For a while, perhaps even a long while, we don’t miss them. We’re too busy living our own lives, pursuing our own dreams, and building a life for ourselves. The years pass by more quickly than we could have ever imagined, and suddenly, we find ourselves coming to terms with being retired. For many, adjusting to retirement can be a time of crisis. We ask ourselves questions such as “What am I going to do now?” and “Who am I now?”

Retirement, for me, has included reconnecting with a number of long-lost friends. It has been an absolute pleasure to reestablish contact with a number of individuals who, at one time, were significant to me. I have also had the opportunity to develop friendships with some of my former classmates from my elementary years who I never really got to know beyond simply surviving our Catholic education. Amazingly, we’ve all turned out to be pretty good people. 

Reconnecting with a number of my former classmates from Saint Gabriel School has been an absolute gift for me. It’s been 56 years since we graduated from that school and moved on to our respective high schools. A group of us has been getting together a few times each year for the past ten years. We might gather at a park with our lawn chairs and brown-bag lunches or enjoy fine dining experiences at any number of Bay Area restaurants. Classmate John Kearney mentioned to me, “One of the things I’ve found interesting about reconnecting with our Saint Gabriel class is that we all came from somewhat similar backgrounds, but everyone has taken a different path in life.” John enjoys hearing about what our classmates have been doing for the past 50+ years.  

Pat Casserly, another member of the Class of 1968, shared this with me: “We all spent about eight years together at Saint Gabriel, day in and day out, seeing the same faces. It felt like it would never end. So, the get-togethers are great and they have made some changes in my life.” He went on to describe how he and a few other classmates have enjoyed motorcycle rides together, a three-day trip to Avila Beach with their spouses, and have plans for a few days in Yosemite next month. Pat mentioned that none of these events would have taken place if he hadn’t gotten back together with his Saint Gabriel classmates.

Classmate Cathy (Koppel) Gibbs told me, “I am so very grateful to have reconnected with my classmates from the SG class of ‘68.  I have gone through some very tough times these past few years and they have helped me get through each and every day with their love, prayers, and support!”

The friendships we share with each other today remind me of an anonymous quote I read not too long ago: “A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.” In getting reacquainted with these women and men over the past few years, I’ve noticed that one of the bonding realizations contributing to these quality relationships is that friendships are cemented when one person says to another, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

When it comes right down to it, friendships are a bit strange. We meet (or re-meet) someone, and after a brief initial conversation, we think to ourselves, Yeah, I like this one. Then we just start doing stuff with them. It’s an absolute joy.

My personal experience of reconnecting with my Saint Gabriel classmates can best be summed-up in the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. He wrote, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

Absolute truth!