“One of the deep
secrets in life
is that all that is
really worth doing
is what we do for others.”
~ Lewis Carroll

When I think back on all the life lessons I’ve learned, and all the wisdom I’ve gained, throughout my lifetime, this Lewis Carroll (no relation) quote just might be the most important of all. I learned this lesson at a very young age, yet only today did I realize that it is attributed to the famous author.

I first learned about the importance of caring for the needs of others from two other Carrolls — Tom and Peg Carroll, my parents. From my earliest days, through their words and example, they impressed upon my siblings and me the value of being aware of the needs of others and of doing whatever we can do to respond to those needs. It is a lesson we have all embraced.

My brother, Tom, has devoted his life to ministry as a Jesuit priest. In that role, he has been a teacher, counselor, and spiritual director to countless men and women around the world. My sister, Cathy, used her love of math to teach in both Catholic and public schools. She then accepted a position with an educational consulting organization which allowed her to travel the country and the world instructing math teachers in more effective methods of teaching math in the classroom. My sister, Peggy, worked as an occupational therapist, helping patients who had experienced a stroke or debilitating spinal cord injury to develop the physical agility skills they would need to enable them to be as independent and self-reliant as possible upon their return to their own homes. 

My professional career in education and pastoral ministry was focused on serving others and teaching my students about the importance of doing so in their lives. 

As I prepare to celebrate the conclusion of my 70th year on earth two months from today, I do so with a tremendous sense of accomplishment. The opportunities I’ve had to make a positive difference in the lives of my students have been an absolute blessing. My Dad always urged me to follow my heart, rather than the money. It’s true that he was saddened that I did not accept the job with the San Francisco Fire Department when it was available to me in the late ‘70s, but his disappointment was not so much with the financial implications of that decision. His frustration had more to do with the fact that it was through a career in firefighting that he had lived a life of service to others. 

I would be remiss not to mention my mother’s role in reinforcing the importance of a life lived for others. In my lifetime, Mom’s vocation was one of constant service, care, and unconditional love from the moment I was born in 1954 right up to the moment of her death in 2022. As a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother, Mom served as a beacon of inspiration for all who knew her. Even in her final years, when she lived at the Villa Siena Retirement Community in Mountain View, Mom found ways to be of service to a number of the residents she met there. Doing for others was simply what she did. It was what she had done throughout her entire lifetime.

“Life’s most persistent
and urgent question is:
What are you doing for others?”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.