“Men’s groups are  
about getting four  
things in your life:  
• Clarity,  
• Accountability,  
• Challenge, and  
• Support.”   
Jayson Gaddis

I began a new journey five weeks ago. It’s something I probably should have started long before now, but… better late than never, right? I began attending Al-Anon meetings on Friday, April 10th. Alcoholism is a reality in my family history: my father, both of his parents and both of his siblings, my mother’s father and both of her siblings, and I’m sure the disease could be traced to many more previous generations. My father warned me about it when I was in high school, so I was well aware of the challenge confronting me. By the grace of God, I am not an alcoholic, but I have not escaped the effects of alcoholism in my life.

My first Al-Anon meeting was at a Lutheran church in Saratoga. It was a large group — about forty people, mostly women. For some reason, I immediately felt “at home.” Everyone was surprisingly welcoming, and the vibe I felt during the meeting gave me a tremendous sense of peace. After the meeting, one of the women in the group told me about an Al-Anon writing group that meets on Thursdays at noon at the Campbell Community Center. When she described how the meeting was conducted, I knew I wanted to give it a try. I did, and I’ve been to four of the writing sessions so far.

At the conclusion of a Friday morning meeting last week, one of the men in the group told me about a men’s group that meets on Thursday nights at 7:00 at another church in San José. What an amazing experience. It should come as no surprise that a men’s group meeting is a significantly different experience from a women’s or mixed-gender meeting. (For one, the language was a bit more colorful!) I didn’t count, but I would estimate that approximately forty men attended. The sharing of stories was inspirational. It was clear to me that this group of men were there for each other. As with the other meetings I’ve attended, I was welcomed warmly and invited to return.

For now, I plan to continue attending all three meetings on a weekly basis. Each has its own charism. With the experience of these meetings, combined with the wisdom contained in the reading I am doing about the disease of alcoholism, I am confident that I will be better equipped to deal with the challenges of the situation.

One powerful lesson I’ve learned: “You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. You can’t cure it.” 

One day at a time.