“I have been  
driven many times
upon my knees  
by the overwhelming  
conviction that I had  
nowhere else to go.”  
Abraham Lincoln

Corrie Ten Boom was a Dutch Christian watchmaker who, with the assistance of her family, saved nearly 800 Jewish people from the Holocaust by hiding them in a secret room in the family home during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. She is remembered for her extraordinary heroism, unrelenting faith, and radical forgiveness. When the Nazis learned of her activities, she and her family were sent to the Revensbrück concentration camp. By the grace of God, she survived the experience, but her family did not. After the war, Corrie forgave even the most cruel of her enemies, including the former guards who had murdered her family. Her story is shared in her autobiography, The Hiding Place.

One particular quote for which Corrie is remembered speaks of our approach to prayer. She asked, “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” The metaphor challenges us to take a look at our communication with God. Do we utilize prayer as a daily guide, directing our choices, keeping us on track, and leading our life? Or do we turn to prayer only when we are in trouble or facing a crisis?

Just as it is necessary to hold the steering wheel the entire time we are driving our car, we are invited and encouraged to maintain a daily, constant conversation with God. In the same way, treating prayer as a spare tire means that we reach out to God only when we are experiencing some type of emergency we cannot handle on our own.

As I reflect back on my life, there were many years when I used prayer as a spare tire. I may have attended Sunday Mass on a regular basis, but I can’t say with confidence that it was always a prayerful experience. As for personal prayer, I’ll admit that in many cases, such prayer was precipitated by some type of crisis. Things have been considerably different for me in the past twenty years.

When I began to focus on gratitude at the end of 2006, prayer became my steering wheel. I begin and end every day with prayers of gratitude. I find myself praying intermittently throughout the day. My prayers may not be the traditional prayers of the Church I learned in elementary school, but I am confident that I have maintained ongoing communication with God for many years now, mostly on the theme of gratefulness.

While taking another mental health walk in San Francisco on Wednesday, I found myself unexpectedly drawn to Saint Ignatius Church on the campus of the University of San Francisco. I entered the empty worship space and sat in one of the many pews. I don’t remember using words to pray. I just sat there… for about an hour. Before too long, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

Life definitely has a way of driving us to our knees at times. When I experience such a situation, as we all do from time to time, I’m grateful that I don’t have to reintroduce myself to God. And when I encounter a period of crisis in my life, I ask myself the Ignatian question: Where is God in this? The answer may not be immediately evident to me, but eventually I will come to realize that, even in times of difficulty, God does not abandon me.