“Self-acceptance is 
without condition; 
it means that you 
accept yourself as is, 
flaws and all.” 
Heather Lonczak

In the mid-1980’s, U.S. Catholic Magazine published an article titled “Cafeteria Catholicism: Do We Have to Eat Everything on Our Plate?” I was coordinating a young adult ministry program at a Catholic parish in Silicon Valley at the time. The title of this article fueled a lively and thoughtful Sunday night discussion on whether it was permissible for people to pick and choose which parts of the Catholic faith to agree with and which to ignore.

In a similar way, women and men today are confronted with a more personal question: Is it healthy for us to accept only those parts of ourselves with which we are comfortable, and to reject the parts of ourselves that we don’t like and would like to disown?

This is a challenge for many of us. While we want to take ownership of those things which make us feel good and which make us look good in the eyes of others, we often attempt to conceal the parts of ourselves that might be embarrassing or that we believe may result in others thinking less of us.

I read an article yesterday in which the author stated, “Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like (about ourselves). It is necessary to face the whole picture.”

It’s critical that we not allow ourselves to get into the habit of ignoring or concealing our faults and weaknesses. We need to avoid the trap of denial — acknowledging our weaknesses for what they are, and accepting ourselves entirely, imperfect though we may be. 

Though it can be incredibly difficult for us to acknowledge certain things about ourselves, when we allow ourselves to identify our weaknesses and to embrace them as part of who we are, we will experience a level of serenity we might otherwise never enjoy. 

Author Brené Brown said this about self-acceptance: “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” Wise words.

American psychologist Tara Brach pointed out, “We don’t have to wait until we are on our deathbed to realize what a waste of our precious lives it is to carry the belief that something is wrong with us.”

Life is not about attaining perfection. It’s about making progress. A reasonable, attainable goal for all of us would be to be a better person each day than we were the previous day.

One day at a time.