“The most precious  
gift we can offer  
anyone is  
our attention.”   
Thich Nhat Hanh

It’s a strange feeling to be engaged in conversation with someone and to realize that you don’t have their attention. I’ve experienced this many times. One person I used to get together with on a fairly regular basis would ask me a question about something or someone in my life. Then, right in the middle of my response, he would begin to tell a story that was only somewhat related to something I had mentioned, despite the fact that I had not yet answered his question. Later in the conversation, he would ask me a question I had previously answered for him, as if we’d never spoken on the subject. I have very little interest in meeting up with him again.

Another person I know is consistently inattentive in a different way. From the moment we greet each other, while I’m looking him directly in the eye while we shake hands, his eyes are scanning the room to see who else is there. That same inattentiveness continues during our conversation over lunch. In his distractedness, he is most likely unaware that he never asks about me, my life, or my family. When we get together, the entire conversation most often revolves around his life, his experiences, and his interests. At some point several years ago, I lost interest in continuing our “let’s get caught-up” lunches.

When we give someone our full attention, we communicate some important messages — that they matter to us; that they are important; that they are worthy of our time.

When we give someone our full attention, we are able to build deeper relationships. Genuine attentiveness creates trust, invites vulnerability, and strengthens relationships.

When we give someone our full attention, we are able to better understand the other person’s story, feelings, and perspective without feeling the need to judge or offer unsolicited advice.

When we give someone our full attention, they are more likely to feel heard and understood. This attentiveness promotes both confidence and hope. Our time with another person is time we will never get back. Giving a person our undivided attention shows that we cherish the time they are sharing with us.

The gift of attentiveness is one of the greatest gifts we can give another human being.