“A marriage that  
can survive a nightly  
game of Yahtzee  
can survive anything.” 
Unknown

41 years of marriage. Like most (all?) marriages, ours has had it’s ups and downs. In the long run, marriages are often strengthened not by grand romantic gestures or getaways to exotic locations, but by small, repeated moments of connection. Kathy and I have found such moments in playing Yahtzee! together each night after dinner. This is a simple, shared ritual which has provided us with laughter, conversation, companionship, and a greater sense of “us.”

For many years after our sons were on their own, our after-dinner routine involved Kathy turning on the television in the living room and me retreating to my office to write. A few months ago, we made a commitment to consistently choose each other’s company over the vices which had allowed us to drift apart. The simplicity of the activity doesn’t require planning, money, or leaving home. Each night’s game is a small investment in our relationship.

When we’re playing Yahtzee together, it’s like we’re kids again. We are able to escape our roles as parents, caregivers, and housekeepers. In place of these often exhausting responsibilities, we enjoy friendly competition, pleasant surprises, a bit of teasing, and plenty of laughter.

Sometimes we just play the game, focusing our attention and conversation on the roll of the dice and the choices confronting us with each roll. At other times, the game provides something for us to do while we converse about more substantive things, allowing our sharing to feel both natural and meaningful.

We play three rounds each night. Sometimes I win. Sometimes Kathy wins. More often than not, one of us wins two out of the three rounds. Whatever the outcome, we celebrate the completion of the game by treating ourselves to mini-Drumsticks — you know, the scoop of vanilla ice cream dipped in chocolate sauce sitting atop a sugar cone.  

Night after night, our Yahtzee games provide challenging decisions, memorable victories, and dramatic rolls of the dice which have created a wonderfully playful rivalry we both look forward to continuing.

Strengthening a decades-long marriage doesn’t always require professional counseling, major problem solving, or planning extraordinary experiences together. Five dice, a scorecard, and 30-45 minutes together has become a meaningful daily ritual. It’s not about the game. It’s not about who wins or loses. The real benefit of playing Yahtzee together is the decision to regularly show up, pay attention, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. And we do.