“A guest never forgets 
the host who 
treated him kindly.” 
Homer

Those who have the opportunity to visit Japan will undoubtedly be left in awe by the level of hospitality they experience there. This is no coincidence. Hospitality is actually a deeply rooted element of Japanese culture. This exceptional standard of hospitality has a word in Japanese, omotenashi (おもてなし).

Omotenashi is the traditional Japanese philosophy of wholehearted, selfless hospitality. It goes far beyond mere politeness. It is the thoughtful art of anticipating a guest’s needs before they are ever spoken, executed with genuine care and absolutely no expectation of reciprocity. To experience true omotenashi is to be fundamentally changed by the realization of how deeply one can be cared for by others. Having been blessed with this grace during my fourteen visits to Japan, I have carried a lifelong impression that has transformed into a deeply held desire: the yearning to return this invaluable gift by employing its principles in my own life.

My journey of understanding began in Nagasaki, Japan, where I first experienced this selfless care in November 1998. Staying at the home of Saori Komoda and her family, I was struck by their intuitive kindness and seamless attention to detail. Every comfort was quietly arranged before I even realized I needed it. 

This profound impression was reinforced the following year when I returned to Nagasaki, accompanying more students from Saint Lawrence Academy on another homestay visit to Junshin Girls’ High School. Witnessing omotenashi practiced so flawlessly — both within the walls of the Komoda family home and on the broader scale of our educational exchange on campus — revealed a culture that elevates human connection into a sacred art form.

True omotenashi expects nothing in return, which paradoxically creates a powerful, lasting desire in the recipient to reciprocate. Because I cannot easily repay the Komoda family across the boundaries of time and distance, returning this gift means translating their philosophy into my own daily life. It means cultivating a sharp, mindful empathy to anticipate the needs of my family and friends without waiting to be asked. 

Whether by preparing a space for a visitor’s ultimate comfort in our home, offering quiet support to a friend in a moment of stress, or simply practicing deep, undistracted listening, I seek to mirror the grace I was shown in Japan.

The profound care I experienced when I visited Nagasaki remains a vibrant, guiding light for how I choose to treat others today. 

While I may never be able to directly balance the scales of the immense kindness extended to me by Saori, her parents, her grandfather, and the community at Junshin Girls’ High School, I do have an opportunity to do my best to replicate the gift of omotenashi during the next week. Saori, and her 15-year-old daughter, Saki, arrive this afternoon for a one-week visit. By opening our home and my heart to anticipate and serve their needs, I hope to honor the family who welcomed me so warmly into their home almost thirty years ago. In doing so, the selfless spirit of omotenashi crosses continents and generations, continuing to ripple outward into a world that deeply needs it.