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“Pray as if God
will take care of all;
act as if all
is up to you.” 
Ignatius of Loyola

Forty years ago today, my brother, Tom, was ordained to the Jesuit priesthood at Saint Mary’s Cathedral in San Francisco. It goes without saying that he was strongly influenced by his experience as a student at Saint Ignatius High School from 1964-68. Saint Ignatius of Loyola was the Spanish priest who founded the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) in 1534. 

In the Sacred Scriptures, the number 40 seems to be used to represent “a long time.” In the story of the great flood, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. Moses fasted for 40 days. Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness where he fasted and was tempted by the devil. And the Jewish people wandered in the desert for 40 years. In each case, the number 40 could be replaced with “a long time.”

In these Bible stories, we can see that the number 40 was associated with being tested, and with the hardships one endures in their journey to becoming more spiritually enlightened.

Yes, my brother, Tom, has been a Jesuit priest for a long time. His various ministerial responsibilities took him to Los Angeles (Loyola High School), Boston (Jesuit Urban Center), Los Altos, California (El Retiro Jesuit Retreat Center), Rome (where Tom provided spiritual direction to young Jesuits in formation from around the world), and then back to Los Angeles (Loyola-Marymount University). Through these experiences, some of which included periods of testing and hardship, Tom has clearly become more spiritually enlightened. What is clear to so many people who know him is that Tom’s strength, the gift he willingly and generously shares with so many, is that of spiritual direction.   

Ignatian Spirituality is grounded in the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, written around the years 1522-1524, an organized program of prayer and reflection. The Exercises are not meant to be read, but to be experienced. The purpose of the Exercises is to help people deepen their relationship with God. Through the years, Tom has facilitated this process of spiritual growth for countless women and men. He continues to do so today from his new home base at Loyola-Marymount University.

While I may be considerably taller (and a bit heavier) than Tom, he will always be my big brother. I am proud of who he is and what he is doing with his life. I am grateful for the myriad ways he has shared his priestly ministry with our family at weddings, funerals, baptisms, and with the gift of his presence. I also appreciate the effort Tom makes to visit and connect with his six nephews (Peggy & Jim’s three boys: Pat, Dan & Sean, and Kathy’s and my three boys: Tom, Steve & Brendan) — and now, seven grand-nieces/nephews! 

Tom’s life has certainly reflected the thoughtful words of former President Jimmy Carter, who said, “I have one life and one chance to make it count for something… My faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can, with whatever I have, to try to make a difference.”

It was a perfect storm. A Friday in June. Spectacular weather forecast for the weekend. Road construction. Egotistical drivers, most in Teslas and BMWs, attempting to impress other drivers with their Indy 500 racing skills on a congested highway. More road construction. Cars, trucks, motorcycles. A horrific accident which required closing two lanes of I-80 to accommodate emergency responders. Did I mention road construction?

A drive which, under normal conditions, would take about two hours took almost four today. Fortunately, I was in no hurry. I had a large iced green tea from… oh, sorry,… a venti iced green tea from Starbucks, a nice selection of CDs in the 6-disc changer (yes, my car is that old: a 2005 Honda), a couple of protein bars, and an unlimited amount of patience for the journey. All were needed to make the most of the unexpectedly-long ride from San José to Roseville, CA.

When I arrived at my destination, I checked-in to the hotel, got settled in my room, then took a two-hour walk to get my steps in for the day. Thinking that I wasn’t expecting any calls, I left my phone in the room. So much for counting steps. Oh, well,… taking the steps is more important than counting them, right?

I stopped at Subway and picked up a turkey & tomato sandwich, which I ate sitting by the pool at the hotel. I was surprised, pleasantly so, to find that the pool area was vacant. On a warm June evening, I would have expected a good number of folks to take advantage of the facilities. I guess everyone went out for dinner tonight.

Now I’m back in my room. It’s too early to go to bed, so I’ll either do some reading or walk over to the lounge near the pool where the Celtics-Maverics game is showing on a big-screen TV. I have no interest in the game itself, but the idea of hanging out where other people might be is appealing to me. It won’t be a late night, because everything around here seems to close down at 9:30 — the pool, the jacuzzi, the lounge,… Oh, that’s right. I’m in Roseville!

“It isn’t what you do,
but how you do it.” 
John Wooden

It’s a morning I will never forget. In June 1974, with the resident students at Bellarmine College Prep having moved out of the dormitory for the summer, I had the responsibility of being the live-in liaison between the school and outside groups that would be renting Bellarmine facilities during the summer months. The first group arrived in mid-June. It was the Wooden-Sharman Basketball Camp.

Coach John Wooden was the legendary head coach of the 10-time NCAA champion UCLA Bruins. Coach Bill Sharman was the head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers. More than fifty young boys participated in the weeklong camp. Players and coaches lived in the dormitory, ate their meals in the Liccardo Center, and worked out in the old gymnasium. 

One morning that week, I walked over to the Liccardo Center to get my breakfast. As I did each day, I entered the facility through the side door, through which one could access the Jesuit dining room or the kitchen. I’d walk through the kitchen each morning and tell Tom, the head chef, what I wanted for breakfast. He would make cook-to-order meals for me. On this particular morning, after getting my plate of food, I passed through the doors to the main dining room. Normally, I would be the only person there at that early hour. On this day, however, there was one other person sitting at a table already enjoying his breakfast. It was Coach Wooden.

I approached him and asked if I might join him at the table. He welcomed me warmly. I knew the coach was famously successful at UCLA, but, at that time, I didn’t realize that he was much more than just a basketball coach. He explained to me that, first and foremost, he was a teacher. He had taught high school English for a number of years prior to accepting the coaching role at UCLA. In his years on the Westwood, California campus, while he was well-known as the head basketball coach, Wooden still considered himself to be a teacher. Yes, he coached his players on the fundamentals of quality basketball, but he also taught them important life lessons along the way. To be a good person was more important to Coach Wooden than to be a successful basketball player. His lessons have made a significant impact on the young men he coached.

One of my favorite Wooden quotes touches on the topic of gratitude. “If we magnified blessings as much as we magnify disappointments, we would all be much happier.” I concur wholeheartedly.

After a lengthy conversation about basketball, teaching, and life in general, Coach invited me to stop by his room in the dormitory. He had two things he wanted to share with me. The first was a three-page handout on the proper mechanics of shooting a free-throw. In my years of coaching (and parenting), I shared this information with my players (and sons). The information provided in Wooden’s handout enabled these athletes to develop effective shooting skills which served them well during their playing days.

The second item he shared with me was a copy of his Pyramid of Success. If you are not familiar with this document, I urge you to check it out through this link.

It’s been fifty years since my brief encounter with Coach Wooden, yet that experience continues to be one of the most treasured memories of my life. Even as we spoke, I was aware that I was in the presence of greatness. I am so grateful for his positive influence in my life.

“Your sacred space is
where you can find yourself
again and again.” 
Joseph Campbell

After graduating from elementary school in June 1968, I attended Saint Ignatius High School at Turk & Stanyan Streets in San Francisco. In the fall of 1969, which was the beginning of my sophomore year, the school moved from the Stanyan Street campus into a new facility on 37th Avenue in The Sunset District. With the change in location came another significant change. The official name of the school became Saint Ignatius College Preparatory.

In that first year on 37th Avenue, while classes were held in the new H-shaped, three-story classroom building, construction continued on other parts of the campus. McGucken Hall, which would be the residence for the Jesuit community, the Carlin Commons, a large multi-purpose room used for lunch, assemblies, and school dances, and the Orradre Chapel were still under construction. Those structures were all completed by the beginning of the 1970-71 academic year.  

At the start of my junior year, I got involved in a group which provided liturgical music for school liturgies, including a weekly Sunday night Mass in the new chapel. The Sunday night liturgies were amazing. Each week, the chapel was filled to capacity with students from S.I. and a good number of students from the local girls’ high schools. There were only a few chairs set up in the back of the chapel. To accommodate the number of attendees, students sat on the carpeted floor for these Masses. The music was contemporary. The homilies by Jesuit priests were thought-provoking, challenging, and interesting. And after Mass each week, a gathering was held in the Carlin Commons, just a few steps from the chapel, at which the high school youth could enjoy cookies, beverages, and good conversation. It was truly an experience of a Eucharistic community.

Difficult as it may seem to comprehend, the “new S.I.” that opened on 37th Avenue in 1969 is already more than fifty years old. Times have changed. Needs have changed. With only a couple of Jesuits still working at the school, there is no need for the large Jesuit community building. McGucken Hall, because it was constructed as a residential building, does not meet the required codes to be used for any other purpose. Also, since S.I. became a coeducational institution 35 years ago, the number of students on campus has increased. The need for additional learning space, configured in ways more compatible with current educational practices, requires significant changes to the campus.

In the coming months, McGucken Hall, the Carlin Commons, and Orradre Chapel will be demolished. In that space at the north end of the S.I. campus, a new state-of-the-art learning center will be built. The new structure will include a new chapel.

This past Saturday evening, I had the honor of attending the final Mass to be celebrated in Orradre Chapel. It was a bittersweet event. I couldn’t help but reflect back on the Sunday night liturgies I attended in the early 70s. My mind was filled with images and names of those who were regular participants in those celebrations, as well as the Jesuit priests who presided at them. For me, and for so many others, Orradre Chapel has been a sacred space. It was, without a doubt, a place where I found God… and myself.

• Check out the plans for the new learning center:
https://www.siprep.org/giving/what-to-support/building-our-future-forward?src=bug

“70 might be the new 40,
but 9:00 p.m. is the
new midnight.” 

I received a number of birthday messages today. I appreciate all those who expressed their condolences on my turning seventy. One email in particular is worth a share. It began with a welcome to The Wonder Years, as in:

• I wonder where I parked my car?
• I wonder where I left my phone?
• I wonder where I left my glasses?
• I wonder where I left my keys?
• I wonder why I came into this room?

This was followed by The Senility Prayer:

“Grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to
run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight
to tell the difference.”

Yes, as of 8:16 a.m. this morning, I am officially 70 years old. While there’s something about turning 70 which I find quite disconcerting, I’m well aware that the proper response to celebrating this milestone birthday is gratitude. No small number of my former classmates from elementary school, high school, and college were not given this opportunity. This is also true of a number of relatives and former colleagues. 

I had a relaxing day today. I walked 13,000+ steps. I stopped for a salad at Jack’s Restaurant on Saratoga Avenue. From there I walked to Paris Baguette Bakery for a slice of birthday cake. At 5:00, we had a family barbecue at our home, followed by Oreo cookie ice cream cake for dessert. I could not have asked for a better day. 

I still find the number 70 to be a bit bothersome, but I’m confident that, in time, I’ll get used to it. I’m realizing that it’s important to accept the aging process with gratitude, humility, and a bit of humor. There seems to be a fine line between “old” and “vintage.”

Comedian/actor George Burns, who, having lived to the ripe old age of 100, might be considered an expert on aging. He maintained a sense of humor about getting old. He said, “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” 

I can relate! 

“No good deed
goes unpunished.” 
Brendan Gill

It was a beautiful day — Sunday, May 19, 2024, the second day of the annual Downtown Campbell Boogie Festival. Spirits were high. Attendance was excellent. The performers, for the most part, were quite good. The smells emanating from the various vendor booths serving everything from grilled kabobs and sausage links to kettle corn and lumpia permeated the midday air. This was my first year volunteering at the event.

I had been invited to sell tickets to those who wanted to purchase beer or wine. After checking each person’s identification to verify they were 21 years of age or older, I would sell as many tickets, wine glasses, and beer mugs as customers wanted. The people were friendly. During the five hours I worked, we didn’t encounter one difficult person. I got to know some of the other volunteers in the booth, as well. It was a delightful day.

When I returned to my car, which I’d parked in the Second Street Parking Garage, I noticed that someone had clipped the back corner of my vehicle. The damage was substantial. I checked to see if a note had been left on my windshield. No such luck. The car was drivable, but the damage to the car was significant and needed to be addressed.

I received an estimate from a local body shop which had been recommended by the guys at Stevens Creek Honda. I filed a claim with my insurance company. The claim was approved and now it’s just a matter of time before I get the car into the shop for the actual repairs to be made. The deductible on my insurance is $1,000.

I’ve parked in the Second Street Garage in downtown Campbell countless times. Never before had I experienced any difficulties there. Sadly, this Sunday morning volunteer stint will cost me $1,000 out of pocket. It’s true. Life isn’t always fair.

I still look back on that day as a pleasant one. The event was a tremendous success. The multi-generational, multi-ethnic attendees seemed to enjoy everything the festival had to offer them. Residents of the City of Campbell had every reason to be proud of their community for offering such an enjoyable experience for the larger Silicon Valley population. Those visiting Campbell that day had every reason to be grateful for the work of so many vendors, organizers, and volunteers who made the event such a memorable one. 

It would be easy for me to stay focused on the damage to my car and be resentful of the injustice of the responsible party leaving the scene without putting a note on my car, but situations such as this invite me to recall the wise words of the Dalai Lama who said, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” 

“There is nothing in the world
so good as good neighbors.” 
Laura Ingalls Wilder

It is often said that the value of real estate is determined by three factors: location, location, and location. While that might be a clever comment, it’s anything but true. Certainly the location of a piece of property is a consideration, but so, too, is the quality of neighbors one finds at that location. When Kathy and I purchased our home in San José in 1986, we hit the good neighbors lottery jackpot. Through the years, we’ve been blessed with a variety of amazing neighbors, many who are owners and some who rent.

For me to identify and acknowledge all our neighbors who have enriched our lives with their friendship, I would need more space than a simple blog post allows. For the purpose of today’s post, I would like to mention two in particular. Both have undertaken the often thankless roles of Homeowner Association Board Members for several years.

Dennis Willerton is our HOA president. With a background in engineering, an impressive work ethic, and a desire to seek what is best for the common good of our association members, Dennis has done an exceptional job of orchestrating a number of projects in the community which required attention. From deck repairs, plumbing issues, and hot water heater repairs to the challenging task of replacing the fence along the entire west side of our property, Dennis has consistently and conscientiously negotiated acceptable rates from the various vendors who serve our community. The time, attention, energy and professionalism he devotes to homeowner association business is greatly appreciated.

The other current Board member is Laura Fitzsimmons. Laura and Dennis work collaboratively to ensure that everything around the complex is in good working order. It seems that the best HOA Board members are much like game officials in an athletic contest. If you don’t notice them, they are probably doing their job exceedingly well. This is certainly true of Laura and Dennis. Through the years, in addition to her work and HOA responsibilities, Laura has nurtured a number of vulnerable kittens and cats that have found their way to her doorstep. She has done this with compassion and kindness. I should mention, as well, that today is Laura’s birthday!

As is true in any community, we have a few neighbors who are difficult to deal with for one reason or another. While they exist, they are significantly outnumbered by genuinely good folks who treat their neighbors with respect and who care for the needs of others in the community.

I’ll end today’s blog post with a quote by Harold Kushner, author of the bestselling book When Bad Things Happen to Good People. He wrote, “The happiest people I know are people who don’t even think about being happy. They just think about being good neighbors, good people. And then happiness sort of sneaks in the back window while they are busy doing good.”    

That sounds like a respectable plan of action for all of us.

“A friend may be waiting
behind a stranger’s face.” 
Maya Angelou

It was so easy when I was younger. In my early childhood, I could walk up to another young person in the sandbox at the park and innocently ask, “Can I play with you?” It was a simple question, and the intention of the question was quite clear. That same question today, if posed to someone my age in a social setting, might result in a slap across the face.

During my high school years, it was fairly easy to strike up a conversation with another high school age student by asking where they attend school or where they went for elementary school. This could lead to a conversation about possible mutual friends and interests.

In my college years, the first conversation with someone new might involved the double-question: “Where are you from? What’s your major?” They were fairly safe, generic questions which had the potential to get the ball rolling. 

When I happen to meet someone who tells me they’re from San Francisco, there’s a tried and true script which must be followed. The first question is “Where’d you go to school?” If they are truly from San Francisco, they instinctively know you’re asking about the high school they attended. That simple introductory question usually opens the door to a number of follow-up questions. “What year did you graduate? Did you know…(fill in the blank with someone’s name)?” These three questions should be more than sufficient to begin an engaging conversation about common friends and experiences. 

In fifteen days, I’ll celebrate my 70th birthday. Opportunities to meet new friends don’t come up quite as often as they used to. Of course, it’s possible to begin a friendship with a simple “Hello,” but even this could be met with suspicion. So it’s an absolute delight when I take the risk to greet someone and the response is warm and hospitable. Meeting new friends shouldn’t be such a challenge, and yet it can be. 

I think it might be helpful to remind ourselves that we’re all part of the human family, and therefore we are all connected. I am reminded of this interconnectedness when I meet someone new. Given the demographics of Silicon Valley, meeting new people invites me to recognize the beauty in the diversity of the people I meet. Whether the person is from upstate New York, downtown Campbell, or somewhere in Africa, every person I meet has a unique story to tell. I’m grateful and honored when others trust me with their stories. I always take the time to listen attentively… and to learn.

The truth is, we just never know how meeting someone new might change the course of our life. While attending a celebration in Kingston, Jamaica in late July 1971, I met many people I did not know. Three years later, one of those individuals contacted me and offered me a job teaching in a high school in the Bahamas. That job led to my decision to devote my life to teaching here in California. 

The keys to unlocking the incredible potential of meeting new people are an open heart and an open mind. These two gifts invite and encourage people to share their stories and the things about which they are passionate. When we happen to connect with someone who has a shared passion, great things can happen.

The more we open ourselves up to meeting new people, the more opportunities seem to come our way. My motivation for meeting new people isn’t necessarily related to potential opportunities, yet when I embrace the unknown of meeting someone new, I’ve learned that magic can happen. There is a vulnerability to opening ourselves up to meeting a person we do not know, but the benefits of doing so far outweigh the risks.  

“Music washes away
from the soul the dust
of everyday life.” 
Berthold Auerbach

The City of Campbell, California is alive and well. Tucked away in a cozy corner of the Santa Clara Valley, it provides a respite from the hectic pace of what is now commonly referred to as Silicon Valley. Once known for its countless acres of orchards, Campbell is now a thriving community of homes, parks, and business which maintains its small town charm.

Downtown Campbell offers several blocks of excellent restaurants, coffee shops, bakeries, small businesses, and my favorite ice cream shop in the South Bay — the Campbell Creamery. Evenings in downtown Campbell often include live performances by a number of local musical artists. 

This weekend, downtown Campbell is the site of the 2024 Boogie Music Festival. I spent a few hours there yesterday enjoying the sights and sounds of the annual event. I especially enjoyed the music of Wandering Acoustics, a local band that performs in downtown Campbell and around the South Bay quite often. I’ll be back at the festival this morning as a volunteer, assisting with ticket sales for those of legal drinking age who would like to enjoy beer or wine throughout the day. 

Theatrical producer David Binder had this to say about community festivals: “Festivals promote diversity, they bring neighbors into dialogue, they increase creativity, they offer opportunities for civic pride, they improve our general psychological well-being. In short, they make cities better places to live.”

The City of Campbell’s annual Boogie Music Festival accomplishes all these things. A quick look around during the event reveals that it is a multi-generational, multi-cultural activity which features dozens of vendor booths with artists of all types selling their goods. On several occasions yesterday, I found myself engaged in pleasant conversations with others who were there to enjoy the festivities of the day. This two-day event is, without a doubt, a tremendous source of civic pride. As for improving one’s psychological well-being,… well, the festival offers music representing a variety of genres, as well as food reflective of the diversity of the community. Oh, and as I’ve mentioned, downtown Campbell is home to the Campbell Creamery.

Food, music, and ice cream. What more is needed for an ideal spring weekend gathering? 

“If a story is in you,
it has to come out.” 
William Faulkner

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a number of people recently who have written manuscripts, or who plan to write something, and have questions about how to get their work published. I’ve met even more people, however, who have mentioned that they have a desire to write either their life story or a book about some of their life experiences, but who are convinced that they don’t possess the skill to do so. I encourage them all to just write. One cannot edit a blank page. One can, however, put one’s thoughts down on paper. One can, to the best of their ability, provide specific details about some of the unique situations and people they’ve encountered along their life journey. For them, the Nike slogan is perfect: Just do it!

The most challenging stage of any writing endeavor is getting started. Where do we begin? What do we say about ourselves? What do we write about other people? How much detail should we provide to make our story understandable, believable, interesting? These are all valid questions which can be answered later in the writing process. The important thing is to just get started. The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to get written.

I believe that everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has had numerous life experiences which have provided them with unique wisdom and perspective which could be beneficial to others. Sadly, many believe that they lack such experience and perspective on life. They discount their own experiences as being ordinary — too ordinary to write about. Who would want to read my story?

I get it. I felt the same way. When I started blogging on the topic of gratitude back in December 2006, the possibility of publishing my work was not on my radar. Who was I? What did I have to say which might be of interest to others? It’s easy for us to discredit our lives as being ordinary or mundane. 

Everyone has the opportunity to ask themselves a few motivating questions: What are some of the highlights of my life? What are some of the experience through which I’ve learned important life lessons? What unique experiences do I have to share with others? Who are some of the most influential people in my life? How have these experiences and individuals contributed to shaping me into the person I am today? How did these people and experiences affect my life journey? What have I learned along the way which was of value to me and might be of value to others, as well?

We don’t need exceptional writing skills to share our stories. What is needed is determination, courage, and a strong desire to make a positive difference in the lives of other people. Proofreaders and editors, whether they be professional or simply proficient, can help a person put their thoughts, ideas, memories, and perspectives into coherent form. The ease and affordability of self-publishing enables anyone to create a manuscript which might make a significant impact on the life of a reader.

A story is in you. Are you ready to share it?