A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker, primarily on the topic of gratitude.

    I currently live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

  • A Wet Christmas?

    “You can tell a lot about  
    a person by the way they  
    handle three things:  
    a rainy day, lost luggage, and  
    tangled Christmas tree lights.”
    Maya Angelou

    Rainy days? No problem. Lost luggage? Gratefully, I’ve never had that experience. Tangled Christmas tree light? Grrrrr!!! (This is precisely why we purchased a Christmas tree with the lights already on it.) But let’s talk about rainy days for a bit today.

    The iconic song “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” was famously sung and popularized by Bing Crosby in the 1940s. It became the best-selling single ever, written by Irving Berlin. While hearing the song evokes wonderful memories of my childhood, I have never experienced a white Christmas, nor do I expect that I ever will. I grew up in San Francisco. I’ve lived fifty miles south of The City, in San José, California, for more than fifty years. Simply put, we don’t get snow. Well,… there was a bit in 1962, and again in 1976, but generally speaking, the only snow visible in the Santa Clara Valley is on the peak of Mount Hamilton and the surrounding hills a few times each winter. That’s more than enough for me.

    This part of California is well-known for having a pleasant climate, and rightly so. Summers are rarely too hot. Winters are rarely too cold. The rain we get here is greatly needed and much appreciated when we get it. Despite these delightful conditions, people often speak of “good weather” and “bad weather.” Is there really such a thing as “good” or “bad” weather? I don’t think so. Weather is neutral.

    While some people savor the warmer days of summer and autumn, others prefer the cooler days of winter and spring, even if those days include rain. I happen to prefer the warmer sunny days, but I thoroughly enjoy experiencing rain, especially when it is substantial, even stormy. There’s something about looking out the window and seeing the trees thrashing about in the intense wind with sheets of large raindrops cascading from the clouds.

    The forecast for the next week indicates that we will be getting rain every day, including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Does this put a damper on Christmas? For me, no, it does not. I’m sure that this forecast is a disappointment to those who are planning to visit the traditional Christmas in the Park displays in downtown San José this week. It also might be a concern to those worried about whether or not Santa Claus will be able to safely make his rounds on Christmas Eve. Somehow, I’m confident that he will find a way to make it happen. He always does. 

    The lyrics of a 1960s song by The Damians might bring comfort to anyone distressed by the current forecast:

    Without clouds,
    the rain can’t wash the land, 
    without rain,
    the grass won’t hide the sand. 
    Without grass,
    the flower’s bloom won’t grow, 
    without pain,
    the joy in life won’t show.

  • A Challenge

  • Above & Beyond

    “Kindness and courtesy 
    are at the root of 
    a positive customer 
    service experience.”
    Shep Hyken

    I heard the name Gary Ward long before I met him. He was the United Parcel Service (UPS) driver who, for many years, delivered packages to my mother’s home on 38th Avenue in San Francisco. Mom would often speak fondly of him, sharing stories of his kindness, friendliness, and the extra effort he put into his job as a delivery driver. She also mentioned him each Christmas after receiving an annual Christmas card from him. Of course, she sent him a card each year, as well. Gary made a positive difference in Mom’s life. 

    UPS is the world’s largest parcel delivery service. Their large brown box trucks can be seen around the world. I have found them to be reliable for both sending and receiving packages. My experience of UPS, however, is quite different than my mother’s — not bad, just different. 

    Perhaps it’s a generational thing. Or, quite possibly, the difference is due to the significant increase in the volume of parcels to be delivered each day by UPS since the creation of Amazon and other online sellers. The difference is that I don’t know my UPS driver. In fact, when a parcel is delivered to my door, rarely, if ever, does the driver even bother to ring the doorbell to let us know that a package has arrived. 

    When Gary would deliver parcels to Mom’s home, he would ring the bell, wait for a response, then walk the package up the steps and hand it to Mom at the front door. He made an effort to get to know Mom on a personal level. He would engage her in conversation, asking about the kids and grandkids. The bottom line is that he treated Mom like a human being, deserving of his time and attention. 

    One day, Mom asked me if I would drive her to Gary’s home in Pacifica. She had something she wanted to give him. It was a copy of my first book, A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude. I was happy to do so. When we arrived, we were greeted warmly by Gary and his wife, Sandy. We had a nice visit with them. Gary wanted to know all about the other neighbors still living on 38th Avenue. 

    Mom passed away in August 2022. To this day, I still receive a Christmas card from Gary and Sandy each year. While I don’t have the same type of relationship Mom had with him, I am tremendously grateful for the opportunity to stay connected to Gary and to express my gratitude for all he did for Mom throughout her later years.

    We could all benefit from the wisdom of the Dalai Lama, who wrote, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” 

  • A Moment’s Pause…

    “Almost everything  
    will work again if you 
    unplug it for a few minutes, 
    including you.”
    Anne Lamott

    I published my first book, A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude, in October 2017. Since that time, I have come to the realization that, while such a pause in our day has tremendous value, there are other reason for us to pause, as well.

    It’s so easy to get caught-up in the rat race of life. Meetings, commitments, chores, and the myriad tasks of everyday life have a way of monopolizing our most precious gift — time. This can deprive us of opportunities to give thoughtful consideration to other aspects of life, as well.  Here are a few thoughts about this.

    As we experience the joys and sorrows, peaks and valleys of each day, we most certainly could benefit from a moment’s pause for reflection to allow us to process what’s happening in and around us.

    Our world is filled with the words and actions of others which can provide motivation for us to put forth an extra effort in our work, our relationships, or to be helpful to those in need. For this reason, we might consider incorporating a moment’s pause for inspiration. Only by taking such time can we allow the words and actions of others truly inspire us to be better than we are.

    It’s been said many times that relationships with family and friends are like gardens, requiring constant care and attentiveness. Yet many people seem to be convinced that they simply don’t have time for this. The demands of our jobs and everyday life can seem overwhelming at times. A moment’s pause for nurturing now and then might be beneficial to us and to those around us.

    I mentioned the gift of time. Yes, it’s precious. It’s also limited. No matter who we are, we are given exactly 1,440 minutes each day to take care of business… and ourselves. Because of this, it’s easy for us to be frustrated by people and situations which interfere with all the important things we need to do each day. A moment’s pause for patience would serve us well.

    I don’t laugh enough. I’m hard-pressed to explain why. I don’t consider myself to be overly-serious, yet it’s a rare occasion when someone or something causes me to burst out in a good belly-laugh. It’s well-documented that laughter offers significant physical, mental, and social health benefits by reducing stress, boosting mood and immunity levels, and strengthening relationships. A moment’s pause for laughter would be a nice addition to each day.

    Stress levels in the United States are high and rising, driven by factors such as economic uncertainty, political division, health concerns, and misinformation. The importance of scheduling time each day to take a moment’s pause for calm is imperative for those seeking to live a healthy life.

    There are countless additional factors for which a pause in our day would be beneficial to us, and to those around us. We might consider a moment’s pause for affection, prayer, humility, courage, kindness, curiosity, empathy, focus, and generosity. Such pauses must be intentional. In most cases, they won’t happen by chance.  

    We can all be encouraged by the words of Michael Altshuler, who wrote, “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”

  • It’s a Choice

    “This Christmas, 
    let kindness be 
    your guiding light.” 
    Joyce Meyer

    It’s a choice. Despite the hectic pace and high-energy atmosphere of the world around us in the days leading up to Christmas, we do have the option to intentionally choose serenity over chaos. It may not be easy, but it is most definitely an option for us.

    Christmas Day is just ten days away. Some might find themselves overwhelmed by the many tasks they’ve set for themselves during this time — finding the perfect Christmas gift for everyone on their list, planning a memorable Christmas gathering for family, friends, or both, cleaning the house to get things in order in preparation for holiday visitors,… and, perhaps, finalizing travel plans for oneself or the family. Without a doubt, these things can contribute significantly to a level of stress I would not wish on anyone.

    Are some of these responsibilities inevitable? Probably, yes. Is there a way to embrace a sense of peace and solitude at this time of year in spite of the pressures we feel weighing us down? Absolutely!

    If you happen to be a regular reader of this blog, you might not be surprised to know that my recommendation is based on gratitude. While you may have a to-do list longer than a receipt from CVS, you have the option to see those chores and commitments through the lens of gratitude. You can embrace an attitude of gratitude throughout the holiday season. Most would agree, I believe, that Christmas should be a time of happiness. With all the stress associated with the holiday, how might one achieve this?

    Motivational speaker, Dennis Waitley, pointed out, “Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” What a great recipe for finding peace and solitude amidst the chaos of the holidays! 

    If everything on your to-do list doesn’t get finished, let it go. There will be time in the future to complete some of these tasks, even if the timing might not be perfect. If the meal you offered to prepare doesn’t come together as planned, roll with it. It might be helpful to know that, for the past 50 years, the traditional Christmas dinner in Japan has been Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes, KFC! This unusual tradition began in 1974 with an extraordinarily successful marketing campaign called Kurisumasu ni wa Kentakkii, which translates to “Kentucky for Christmas.” So you do have options if the oven malfunctions or the neighbor’s dogs get into your kitchen and devour the holiday turkey. 

    Life doesn’t always play out as we had planned, and that’s okay. We can still perform small acts of kindness for those around us. We can set aside a little time each day to think about the people and things in our life for which we are grateful. And we can express our gratitude to those responsible for it. In doing so, we will experience a significantly greater level of happiness and inner peace. 

    Gratitude makes a difference!

  • Never Too Late

    “Feeling gratitude 
    and not expressing it 
    is like wrapping a present 
    and not giving it.”
    William Arthur Ward

    I met two young men this afternoon at Java Beach Café on Sloat Boulevard in San Francisco. One of them was sporting a Saint Ignatius Rowing Club t-shirt. The two Saint Ignatius College Preparatory seniors were sitting at a table discussing options for continuing their education next year. I had heard that the 2025 S.I. football team had qualified to play in the Division III state championship game this weekend, but I didn’t know if the game had been played yet, so I asked them. They were happy to tell me that S.I. won the state championship game last night for the first time, I believe, in school history. Impressive achievement!

    I shared that I had graduated from S.I. in 1972, and that my class was the last to experience one year in the “old” S.I. campus at Stanyan & Turk Streets before the move to the present campus on 37th Avenue in the Sunset District. I told them how strange it was for me to see that some of those “new” buildings have been razed to make room for updated educational facilities for the future. One of the guys mentioned that it’s been a challenge going to classes in portable classrooms for his senior year. I wished them luck in their college acceptance processes and went on my way.

    As I drove across the Sunset District to attend a book signing event at Holy Name Parish, a strange thought crossed my mind. Long before I was accepted as a student at Saint Ignatius, plans had been made and fundraising had begun to construct the 37th Avenue campus. Most of the donors to the building campaign were people who might never personally benefit from the new facilities. Despite this, the Genesis Campaign was overwhelmingly successful, allowing for the construction of the new and improved campus. The doors to the 37th Avenue campus opened in September 1969, the beginning of my sophomore year.

    From north to south, the campus included a four-story residence for the Jesuit community, a chapel, large dining hall, three-story H-shaped classroom building, library, bookstore, and a variety of small offices for student organizations. The southern-most building was a gymnasium and locker room complex. The campus also included a football field, tennis courts, outdoor basketball courts, and a modest student parking lot. Compared to the Stanyan Street campus, the “new S.I.” was palatial. 

    I have no doubt that students at the new school were encouraged to be grateful for the generosity of the benefactors who had made such amazing facilities available for our use, but as a student at that time, I have no recollection of ever feeling truly grateful. I think I simply took it all for granted, feeling lucky to be one of the students who benefited from the kindness and generosity of others. I certainly don’t recall ever expressing my gratitude for those who made the new campus a reality.

    So today, more than 56 years after the fact, I would like to express my sincere gratitude for all those who, in addition to the tuition they paid, donated substantial amounts of money to provide the funds needed for construction of the new school. I did benefit directly from their generosity, as have more than fifty classes of S.I. students since that time. I am well aware that most of those who supported the building fund throughout the 1960s have probably passed on by now. Still, I am grateful to them for making sacrifices to provide the venue for Saint Ignatius students to receive a top-quality Jesuit education for generations to come.

    Better late than never.

    A.M.D.G.

  • Simply Grateful

  • Strangers

    “One of the great things 
    about travel is that you 
    find out how many good, 
    kind people there are.”  
    Edith Wharton

    I’m sort of an extrovert. Well, to be more accurate, I can be an off-the-chart extrovert in some situations. I am energized by meeting people. For some strange reason, I am quite comfortable striking up a conversation with just about anyone I meet in any situation.

    I subscribe to the philosophy exemplified by the Irish poet, William Butler Yeats, who said, “There are no strangers in this world, only friends I haven’t met yet.”

    On my many walks through San Francisco, I constantly meet people and engage them in conversation. Sometimes, when I see people trying to take selfies, I offer to take the photo for them, or perhaps it’s a family or couple photo, which allows everyone to be in the picture. At other times, I offer help to tourists who appear to be confused studying a map of The City. I always ask where they are from, which often leads to lively conversations about mutual friends and experiences.

    On Tuesday afternoon, I was sitting in Nassau International Airport awaiting the first leg of my journey home — Nassau to Atlanta. A young couple with two small children, a 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl, were sitting close by. The little girl was quite a flirt. She would smile at me, so I would smile back. I ended up talking with the parents. They were heading back home after a weeklong vacation. The man asked where I was from. I mentioned that I had grown up in San Francisco, but that I’ve lived in San José for most of the past 50 years. 

    The man said he grew up in Daly City. Click! “So where’d you go to school?” I inquired. He said he went to Saint Ignatius. I smiled and told him that I’d graduated from SI, too, in 1972. He was class of 2007. Since he said he was from Daly City originally, I also asked where he attended elementary school. He said he had graduated from Our Lady of Mercy School, the same school my good friend Dan Pasini had attended, and the school where, during my senior year at SI, I taught a CCD class (after-school religious education for public school students) to a group of “incorrigible sixth-grade boys.” That’s the phrase used by the Director of Religious Education at OLM when she called to ask if I would teach the class. It turned out to be a great experience.

    Then I inquired as to where they live now. He told me they live in one of the many suburbs of Chicago. I mentioned that Kathy has family in many of the suburbs — Orland Park, Brookfield, and Lisle. The man’s wife chirped-in, “We live in Lisle!” Yes, this is a very small world.

    While some may think it is strange for me to be so outgoing and conversational with total strangers, it is something with which I am quite comfortable, and something I will continue to do. As the poet Maya Angelou once said, “A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.” 

  • Nassau 2025

    “I have found out that there 
    ain’t no surer way to find out 
    whether you like people or hate 
    them than to travel with them.”
    Mark Twain

    As the clock wound down on 2025, we knew it was now or never — a 50th Anniversary trip to Nassau, in The Bahamas. Dan Pasini and I taught at Saint Augustine’s College in the 1974-75 academic year. It was a transformative experience for both of us. While I’d returned to Nassau on several occasions through the years, Dan had never made it back… until November 18, 2025. The return was epic.

    Much has changed in Nassau in the past fifty years, and much has remained the same. Significant improvements have been made in the tourist areas, as tourism is the #1 industry in The Bahamas. In other parts of Nassau, where the locals live, much-needed improvements remain to be addressed. Many of the roadways are ridden with potholes and craters, which cannot be good for the cars driven by local Bahamians. Street signs, even at major intersections, often don’t exist, making it difficult for those unfamiliar with the local neighborhoods to navigate their way around. Water pressure in Bahamian homes is minimal, and during the hottest times of the year, electricity can be unreliable, often leaving locals without air conditioning in their homes and workplaces. 

    Despite all this, Bahamians are generally a happy lot. One might expect hospitality and friendly smiles in the tourist areas. After all, the economy of the country depends on keeping visitors happy. But even in other parts of the island, people are hospitable, friendly, and courteous, even on congested roadways. We heard a lot of horn-honking during our recent visit, but those were mostly indications of gratitude for motorists who slowed down or stopped to let others enter the roadway or change lanes.

    Dan and I had the opportunity to visit the campus of Saint Augustine’s College where the principal is one of Dan’s former students. We got together one evening with about twenty of our former students at a local restaurant. I must admit that I didn’t recognize several of them, but when I heard their names, images of them fifty years ago came to mind. We had so many life stories to share throughout the evening.

    Walking around downtown Nassau was quite nostalgic. Many of the business that were there fifty years ago are gone, replaced with new shops catering mostly to tourists. One shop I don’t recall from fifty years ago, but is still thriving today, is the Sue-Nan Shoppe, which offers a wide variety of Bahamian souvenirs, shirts, towels, hats, postcards, and other assorted items. We walked through the straw market where Dan purchased a handmade set of Dominos from the craftsman, who seemed quite appreciative that Dan made no effort to bargain with him for a better price. We met the man’s two school-age daughters and Dan knew that paying above the asking price was the right thing to do. That’s just how Dan is.

    Many of our old haunts are gone — the Bridge Inn, the Nassau Beach Hotel, Quality Market, the Pilot House Hotel (where we’d pick up a copy of the New York Times on Sundays), Dipper Dan’s Ice Cream in the Palmdale neighborhood, and the Poinciana Inn, a local bar near Saint Augustine’s College that we never visited, which sported the sign “Take Courage at the Poinciana Inn” on the outside. Courage was a popular ale available on the island at that time.  

    We did, however, treat ourselves to lunch at The Poop Deck, a popular restaurant owned by a SAC family, which overlooks Nassau Harbor. And on several occasions, we indulged in some of the local Bahamian menu items: conch fritters, cracked conch, Bahamian Mac & Cheese, and peas & rice. Those meals brought back wonderful memories from our shared past.

    We had such a good time in Nassau this year that Dan mentioned that we should make this an annual event. Twist my arm!!!

    I am grateful to Dan for the experience we shared in Nassau fifty years ago, for the 50-year anniversary visit this year, and for the friendship we have maintained and nourished since 1970. I am blessed to have such a treasured friend.

    Back home for a
    post-trip lunch in San José

  • Friendship

    “No distance of place
    or lapse of time
    can lessen the friendship
    of those who are thoroughly
    persuaded of each other’s worth.” 
    Robert Southey

    My travels around the world, limited though they may have been, have blessed me with the opportunity to meet and get to know many people. Most would best be described as acquaintances — people I know, but with whom I really have no ongoing relationship. Others, however, have developed into true friends. This is certainly the case with my friend Yuichiro, a teacher at Junshin High School in Nagasaki, Japan.

    I don’t recall exactly what year I met Yuichiro, but it was his first year serving as a chaperone escorting a group of students from Junshin High School when they visited Saint Lawrence Academy for two weeks in the spring. Our visitors would stay in the homes of host families, who would provide housing, meals, and companionship throughout the visit.  Yuichiro’s host family that year was the Sifferman’s, who lived in Saratoga. Mr. Sifferman had contacted me prior to the arrival of our Japanese guests to inform me that he had a conflict on one of the weekends which required him and his his wife to be out of town. They were okay with Yuichiro staying at their home during their absence, as there was an older adult-age son living at home, too. They were just concerned that no one would be available to entertain Yuichiro on the weekend days.

    I assured Mr. Sifferman that I would be happy to take on that responsibility, unaware that it would lead to a friendship which has lasted for close to twenty years.

    On Saturday, we spent the day touring San Francisco by bus with the Junshin students and their host students from Saint Lawrence. It was an exhausting, but thoroughly enjoyable day. Then, on Sunday, I took Yuichiro over the hill to Santa Cruz, Monterey, and Carmel by the Sea. It was a picture-perfect day, which included a stop at the Santa Cruz lighthouse. While strolling along the Santa Cruz wharf that afternoon, I happened to see a miniature replica of the Santa Cruz lighthouse, so while Yuichiro was busy looking around the shop, I quickly purchased two of them. Prior to his departure, I presented one of them to him as a gift of our friendship. He keeps his lighthouse on his desk at Junshin High School. I keep mine on my desk here at home — a constant reminder of the bond we forged on that day.

    Through the years, we’ve gotten together many other times, both here in California and in Nagasaki. We’ve shared many meals at restaurants in both cities. In 2007, when Kathy first visited Japan with me, we got together with Yuichiro and his wife for a delightful meal. On that same trip, the four of us joined a group of Junshin administrators and teachers for a traditional Japanese meal at an historic restaurant in downtown Nagasaki.

    It’s been ten years since my last visit to Japan. Despite the time and distance which separates us, Yuichiro and I have maintained a close friendship. For this, I will always be grateful.