A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • Fame

    “We have an innate propensity 
    to get ourselves noticed, and 
    noticed favorably, by our kind.”
    William James

    Recently, I’ve been reading, and very much enjoying, What Matters Most and Why, by Jim Manney. His book seeks to unearth insights on a number of life questions: How can I find meaning and joy? What’s valuable in life? What’s irrelevant? and What do I really want in life? I have found the book to be both inspirational and challenging.

    Manney’s book includes the quote above, by philosopher William James. Manney was writing about feelings of specialness and happiness, beginning with a reference to ancient Greek epic poem, The Iliad, in which the great warrior, Achilles, must decide between continuing in battle, with the likelihood of dying a hero who would be long remembered, or returning to his home in Phthia, where he would live happily ever after with his loved ones, but die in obscurity. Achilles chose to continue fighting and die a hero. 

    Achilles was addicted to fame. It was important to him that he be remembered, in a positive light, long after his death. This is certainly an appropriate example of what James was speaking of in the quote above. 

    That was then, but even now, there seems to be a strong desire by many to be noticed. Today, however, dying in battle isn’t necessarily going to achieve this goal. Rather, with the various options available to us through social media, an individual can wage an intense campaign of self-promotion (and self-adulation) capable of reaching millions of people worldwide. We’ve even come up with a term to refer to these people — influencers. 

    Of course, there are those who legitimately influence others in a positive way. No small number of individuals utilize social media to share their knowledge and expertise on various topics with the intention of helping readers, viewers, and followers to improve their lives. There are those, however, whose sole intention is to shine the spotlight of attention on themselves in an effort to be noticed, and ultimately liked, by others. 

    While such a campaign may appear to be effective for a period of time, it seems that most people eventually see through the self-glorifying glitz of the poster and recognize that this façade can be compared to the Wizard of Oz being exposed behind the curtain. Despite all the overblown images, exaggerated depictions of success, and, in some cases, expressions of false humility, self-promotion of this kind tends to drive people away. The fact of the matter is that we are not special. None of us! We are all ordinary people doing ordinary (and occasionally extraordinary) things in our lives.

    Most people I know would appreciate the authenticity of their friends and acquaintances, recognizing that in spite of their faults and imperfections, they are genuinely good humans deserving of love and respect exactly as they are. 

    To become famous as a result of your outstanding accomplishments is an honor. To actively and intentionally seek fame, however, is, for the most part, both futile and unfulfilling.    

  • Sacred Idleness

    With only three days remaining until Christmas, I am happy to say that the Christmas cards have been sent, the laundry is done, and any Christmas shopping I was planning to do has been completed. So what’s a person to do when all the stress-inducing tasks leading up to the holidays have been taken care of already? Doing absolutely nothing sounds like a good response.

    In reality, it’s hard to do absolutely nothing. This is something with which I’ve had little experience in recent years. If there’s nothing else to do, I either read, write, walk, or sleep, but all of these activities constitute “doing something.” 

    In this pre-Christmas season 2025, I’ve embraced a new practice, which is the closest I’ve come to doing nothing. I’ll make myself a cup of hot green or pumpkin spice tea, sit in a comfortable chair in the living room, and watch Christmas Cottage on YouTube. The idyllic scene depicts a cozy living room with a warm fireplace, a few pieces of furniture, a lighted Christmas tree, a few gifts under the tree, some other Christmas decorations, and a stunning view of the snow falling outside the large glass windows. It is accompanied by a pleasant selection of Christmas music. I can sit there gazing attentively at the peaceful scene for lengthy periods of time. Technically, I guess this is “doing something,” too, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it.

    Kathy’s brother, John, who lives with his wife Linda in Eureka, California, offers another option for those who have too much time on their hands this Christmas. John and Linda will be attending the 2025 Ferndale Tractor Parade. Ferndale is a small community just south of Eureka. It is best known for its incredibly well-preserved and meticulously maintained 19th-century Victorian homes and storefronts, a historic Main Street, and its small-town charm. I’m sure the simple celebration of the tractor parade will bring a smile to your face. Just click the link to watch it. 

    “To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.” ~ Oscar Wilde

  • Time

    “Whether it’s the best 
    of times or the worst of 
    times, it’s the only 
    time we’ve got.” 
    Art Buchwald

    Time is a strange phenomenon. At certain points in my life, it has dragged on at an agonizingly slow pace. At other times, it has passed much too quickly. A few examples might help to illustrate this.

    I’m pretty sure I was in first grade when I received an invitation to Davina Cosenza’s birthday party. Davina was one of my Saint Gabriel School classmates. If I was invited, I’m assuming she must have invited everyone in the class. The week prior to the day of the party was one of the longest weeks of my life. I was so excited about going to this event, but it seemed that the day would never arrive. Of course, it did.

    When I was in high school, I remember patiently watching the clock on the classroom wall throughout much of the class period of my sophomore Latin II classes. The next period was lunch, which I believed to be a much better use of my time. As it turns out, it was.

    Waiting in lines at grocery stores, the post office, the Department of Motor Vehicles, or security checkpoints at airports can also distort our experience of time, leaving us wondering if we will ever reach our destination. We usually do.

    On the other hand, there have been periods in my life when an hour, a day, a year, or fifty years has passed in what seemed to be the blink of an eye. 

    In August 1976, I attended a Day on the Green at the Oakland Coliseum with a good friend. The performers that day were Loggins & Messina, Linda Ronstadt, and The Eagles. Three concerts in one day! I had expected that the event would be an incredibly long day. Being there with my friend, however, changed my perception of time. Eight hours passed more quickly than I would have liked. Before I knew it, the performances were over and we were headed back to The City on BART.

    My experience of parenting has also distorted time for me. There were days that seemed to drag on forever, yet I look back over the past forty years and it’s difficult to comprehend that so much time has passed so quickly. I’m grateful for the memories of those days.

    In reality, every day consists of 24 hours. Every hour consists of 60 minutes. Every minute consists of 60 seconds. Time is a constant. It doesn’t change. Our perception of time, however, is significantly affected by what we’re doing, who we’re with, and the quality of the experience.

    Time is a gift. Dr. Clayton Barbeau, a family therapist from San Francisco, once said, “Where you spend your time is where you spend your life.” It would be prudent for us to pause now and then to assess how we are allocating our time. Whether we perceive it as passing slowly or quickly, one thing is certain: our time here is limited. We are invited and challenged to use our gift of time wisely. 

  • My Childhood Bedroom

    “We’ll never be 
    those kids again.” 
    Frank Ocean

    Reading often invites us to consider things we might otherwise never think about. I came across such a challenge recently in a book titled The Story of My Life:

    “Imagine your childhood bedroom. List ten objects you remember from the room, and describe what they meant to you.”

    I was intrigued by the thought of visualizing that yellow room situated in the middle of our home on 38th Avenue in San Francisco. Immediately one image came to mind: a photo I had cut out of Sports Illustrated magazine of emerging tennis star Chris Evert. I had posted the image on the wall above my chest of drawers early in my junior year of high school. It stayed there until I moved away to attend college in August 1972. No, I didn’t bring it with me!

    In September 1970, Evert was one of the top under-16 tennis players in the country, but most people had never heard of her. Then she was invited to play in a tournament at the Olde Providence Racquet Club in Charlotte, North Carolina. She was 15 years old. In that tournament, she stunned the tennis world by defeating Margaret Court, the #1 women’s tennis player in the world. In that same year, Court won all four Grand Slam singles tournaments. After seeing Evert’s photo in Sports Illustrated, I was smitten.

    What did that photo mean to me? Well,… in retrospect, I can recognize that it was a clear indication that I was growing up. After not dating at all in my freshman year of high school, I had been invited to a junior prom at one of the local girls’ high schools at the end of my sophomore year. The young lady who invited me was the daughter of a couple who had been in my parents’ wedding. She didn’t have a date for her prom and wanted to attend, so I went with her. We had a good time, but I was well-aware of why I was there. 

    It wasn’t until the first weekend of September 1970, just two weeks before Evert’s stunning victory over Court, that I found myself in my first dating relationship. Through most of my junior year, I enjoyed the experience of having my first girlfriend, even though at the same time, I encountered the joy of having my first celebrity crush.

    As for some of the other objects I remember from my childhood bedroom, I would include the following: my desk; an Emerson radio; the awards I received in my elementary school years for soccer, basketball, baseball, and tennis; my copy of Barron’s How to Prepare for the High School Entrance Examination on my bookshelf; and three items commemorating my First Communion (a cross on the wall, a small statue of a small boy receiving Communion from Jesus himself, and rosary beads). There was also a framed letter on the wall from President John F. Kennedy addressed to my brother, Tom, who had written to him about some political issue when he was in high school. Sadly, that’s about all I remember from that room.

    We can reflect back all we want on our childhood years, but one thing is certain. The words of singer/songwriter Frank Ocean are spot-on: “We’ll never be those kids again.”

  • A Wet Christmas?

    “You can tell a lot about  
    a person by the way they  
    handle three things:  
    a rainy day, lost luggage, and  
    tangled Christmas tree lights.”
    Maya Angelou

    Rainy days? No problem. Lost luggage? Gratefully, I’ve never had that experience. Tangled Christmas tree light? Grrrrr!!! (This is precisely why we purchased a Christmas tree with the lights already on it.) But let’s talk about rainy days for a bit today.

    The iconic song “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” was famously sung and popularized by Bing Crosby in the 1940s. It became the best-selling single ever, written by Irving Berlin. While hearing the song evokes wonderful memories of my childhood, I have never experienced a white Christmas, nor do I expect that I ever will. I grew up in San Francisco. I’ve lived fifty miles south of The City, in San José, California, for more than fifty years. Simply put, we don’t get snow. Well,… there was a bit in 1962, and again in 1976, but generally speaking, the only snow visible in the Santa Clara Valley is on the peak of Mount Hamilton and the surrounding hills a few times each winter. That’s more than enough for me.

    This part of California is well-known for having a pleasant climate, and rightly so. Summers are rarely too hot. Winters are rarely too cold. The rain we get here is greatly needed and much appreciated when we get it. Despite these delightful conditions, people often speak of “good weather” and “bad weather.” Is there really such a thing as “good” or “bad” weather? I don’t think so. Weather is neutral.

    While some people savor the warmer days of summer and autumn, others prefer the cooler days of winter and spring, even if those days include rain. I happen to prefer the warmer sunny days, but I thoroughly enjoy experiencing rain, especially when it is substantial, even stormy. There’s something about looking out the window and seeing the trees thrashing about in the intense wind with sheets of large raindrops cascading from the clouds.

    The forecast for the next week indicates that we will be getting rain every day, including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Does this put a damper on Christmas? For me, no, it does not. I’m sure that this forecast is a disappointment to those who are planning to visit the traditional Christmas in the Park displays in downtown San José this week. It also might be a concern to those worried about whether or not Santa Claus will be able to safely make his rounds on Christmas Eve. Somehow, I’m confident that he will find a way to make it happen. He always does. 

    The lyrics of a 1960s song by The Damians might bring comfort to anyone distressed by the current forecast:

    Without clouds,
    the rain can’t wash the land, 
    without rain,
    the grass won’t hide the sand. 
    Without grass,
    the flower’s bloom won’t grow, 
    without pain,
    the joy in life won’t show.

  • A Challenge

  • Above & Beyond

    “Kindness and courtesy 
    are at the root of 
    a positive customer 
    service experience.”
    Shep Hyken

    I heard the name Gary Ward long before I met him. He was the United Parcel Service (UPS) driver who, for many years, delivered packages to my mother’s home on 38th Avenue in San Francisco. Mom would often speak fondly of him, sharing stories of his kindness, friendliness, and the extra effort he put into his job as a delivery driver. She also mentioned him each Christmas after receiving an annual Christmas card from him. Of course, she sent him a card each year, as well. Gary made a positive difference in Mom’s life. 

    UPS is the world’s largest parcel delivery service. Their large brown box trucks can be seen around the world. I have found them to be reliable for both sending and receiving packages. My experience of UPS, however, is quite different than my mother’s — not bad, just different. 

    Perhaps it’s a generational thing. Or, quite possibly, the difference is due to the significant increase in the volume of parcels to be delivered each day by UPS since the creation of Amazon and other online sellers. The difference is that I don’t know my UPS driver. In fact, when a parcel is delivered to my door, rarely, if ever, does the driver even bother to ring the doorbell to let us know that a package has arrived. 

    When Gary would deliver parcels to Mom’s home, he would ring the bell, wait for a response, then walk the package up the steps and hand it to Mom at the front door. He made an effort to get to know Mom on a personal level. He would engage her in conversation, asking about the kids and grandkids. The bottom line is that he treated Mom like a human being, deserving of his time and attention. 

    One day, Mom asked me if I would drive her to Gary’s home in Pacifica. She had something she wanted to give him. It was a copy of my first book, A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude. I was happy to do so. When we arrived, we were greeted warmly by Gary and his wife, Sandy. We had a nice visit with them. Gary wanted to know all about the other neighbors still living on 38th Avenue. 

    Mom passed away in August 2022. To this day, I still receive a Christmas card from Gary and Sandy each year. While I don’t have the same type of relationship Mom had with him, I am tremendously grateful for the opportunity to stay connected to Gary and to express my gratitude for all he did for Mom throughout her later years.

    We could all benefit from the wisdom of the Dalai Lama, who wrote, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” 

  • A Moment’s Pause…

    “Almost everything  
    will work again if you 
    unplug it for a few minutes, 
    including you.”
    Anne Lamott

    I published my first book, A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude, in October 2017. Since that time, I have come to the realization that, while such a pause in our day has tremendous value, there are other reason for us to pause, as well.

    It’s so easy to get caught-up in the rat race of life. Meetings, commitments, chores, and the myriad tasks of everyday life have a way of monopolizing our most precious gift — time. This can deprive us of opportunities to give thoughtful consideration to other aspects of life, as well.  Here are a few thoughts about this.

    As we experience the joys and sorrows, peaks and valleys of each day, we most certainly could benefit from a moment’s pause for reflection to allow us to process what’s happening in and around us.

    Our world is filled with the words and actions of others which can provide motivation for us to put forth an extra effort in our work, our relationships, or to be helpful to those in need. For this reason, we might consider incorporating a moment’s pause for inspiration. Only by taking such time can we allow the words and actions of others truly inspire us to be better than we are.

    It’s been said many times that relationships with family and friends are like gardens, requiring constant care and attentiveness. Yet many people seem to be convinced that they simply don’t have time for this. The demands of our jobs and everyday life can seem overwhelming at times. A moment’s pause for nurturing now and then might be beneficial to us and to those around us.

    I mentioned the gift of time. Yes, it’s precious. It’s also limited. No matter who we are, we are given exactly 1,440 minutes each day to take care of business… and ourselves. Because of this, it’s easy for us to be frustrated by people and situations which interfere with all the important things we need to do each day. A moment’s pause for patience would serve us well.

    I don’t laugh enough. I’m hard-pressed to explain why. I don’t consider myself to be overly-serious, yet it’s a rare occasion when someone or something causes me to burst out in a good belly-laugh. It’s well-documented that laughter offers significant physical, mental, and social health benefits by reducing stress, boosting mood and immunity levels, and strengthening relationships. A moment’s pause for laughter would be a nice addition to each day.

    Stress levels in the United States are high and rising, driven by factors such as economic uncertainty, political division, health concerns, and misinformation. The importance of scheduling time each day to take a moment’s pause for calm is imperative for those seeking to live a healthy life.

    There are countless additional factors for which a pause in our day would be beneficial to us, and to those around us. We might consider a moment’s pause for affection, prayer, humility, courage, kindness, curiosity, empathy, focus, and generosity. Such pauses must be intentional. In most cases, they won’t happen by chance.  

    We can all be encouraged by the words of Michael Altshuler, who wrote, “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”

  • It’s a Choice

    “This Christmas, 
    let kindness be 
    your guiding light.” 
    Joyce Meyer

    It’s a choice. Despite the hectic pace and high-energy atmosphere of the world around us in the days leading up to Christmas, we do have the option to intentionally choose serenity over chaos. It may not be easy, but it is most definitely an option for us.

    Christmas Day is just ten days away. Some might find themselves overwhelmed by the many tasks they’ve set for themselves during this time — finding the perfect Christmas gift for everyone on their list, planning a memorable Christmas gathering for family, friends, or both, cleaning the house to get things in order in preparation for holiday visitors,… and, perhaps, finalizing travel plans for oneself or the family. Without a doubt, these things can contribute significantly to a level of stress I would not wish on anyone.

    Are some of these responsibilities inevitable? Probably, yes. Is there a way to embrace a sense of peace and solitude at this time of year in spite of the pressures we feel weighing us down? Absolutely!

    If you happen to be a regular reader of this blog, you might not be surprised to know that my recommendation is based on gratitude. While you may have a to-do list longer than a receipt from CVS, you have the option to see those chores and commitments through the lens of gratitude. You can embrace an attitude of gratitude throughout the holiday season. Most would agree, I believe, that Christmas should be a time of happiness. With all the stress associated with the holiday, how might one achieve this?

    Motivational speaker, Dennis Waitley, pointed out, “Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” What a great recipe for finding peace and solitude amidst the chaos of the holidays! 

    If everything on your to-do list doesn’t get finished, let it go. There will be time in the future to complete some of these tasks, even if the timing might not be perfect. If the meal you offered to prepare doesn’t come together as planned, roll with it. It might be helpful to know that, for the past 50 years, the traditional Christmas dinner in Japan has been Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes, KFC! This unusual tradition began in 1974 with an extraordinarily successful marketing campaign called Kurisumasu ni wa Kentakkii, which translates to “Kentucky for Christmas.” So you do have options if the oven malfunctions or the neighbor’s dogs get into your kitchen and devour the holiday turkey. 

    Life doesn’t always play out as we had planned, and that’s okay. We can still perform small acts of kindness for those around us. We can set aside a little time each day to think about the people and things in our life for which we are grateful. And we can express our gratitude to those responsible for it. In doing so, we will experience a significantly greater level of happiness and inner peace. 

    Gratitude makes a difference!

  • Never Too Late

    “Feeling gratitude 
    and not expressing it 
    is like wrapping a present 
    and not giving it.”
    William Arthur Ward

    I met two young men this afternoon at Java Beach Café on Sloat Boulevard in San Francisco. One of them was sporting a Saint Ignatius Rowing Club t-shirt. The two Saint Ignatius College Preparatory seniors were sitting at a table discussing options for continuing their education next year. I had heard that the 2025 S.I. football team had qualified to play in the Division III state championship game this weekend, but I didn’t know if the game had been played yet, so I asked them. They were happy to tell me that S.I. won the state championship game last night for the first time, I believe, in school history. Impressive achievement!

    I shared that I had graduated from S.I. in 1972, and that my class was the last to experience one year in the “old” S.I. campus at Stanyan & Turk Streets before the move to the present campus on 37th Avenue in the Sunset District. I told them how strange it was for me to see that some of those “new” buildings have been razed to make room for updated educational facilities for the future. One of the guys mentioned that it’s been a challenge going to classes in portable classrooms for his senior year. I wished them luck in their college acceptance processes and went on my way.

    As I drove across the Sunset District to attend a book signing event at Holy Name Parish, a strange thought crossed my mind. Long before I was accepted as a student at Saint Ignatius, plans had been made and fundraising had begun to construct the 37th Avenue campus. Most of the donors to the building campaign were people who might never personally benefit from the new facilities. Despite this, the Genesis Campaign was overwhelmingly successful, allowing for the construction of the new and improved campus. The doors to the 37th Avenue campus opened in September 1969, the beginning of my sophomore year.

    From north to south, the campus included a four-story residence for the Jesuit community, a chapel, large dining hall, three-story H-shaped classroom building, library, bookstore, and a variety of small offices for student organizations. The southern-most building was a gymnasium and locker room complex. The campus also included a football field, tennis courts, outdoor basketball courts, and a modest student parking lot. Compared to the Stanyan Street campus, the “new S.I.” was palatial. 

    I have no doubt that students at the new school were encouraged to be grateful for the generosity of the benefactors who had made such amazing facilities available for our use, but as a student at that time, I have no recollection of ever feeling truly grateful. I think I simply took it all for granted, feeling lucky to be one of the students who benefited from the kindness and generosity of others. I certainly don’t recall ever expressing my gratitude for those who made the new campus a reality.

    So today, more than 56 years after the fact, I would like to express my sincere gratitude for all those who, in addition to the tuition they paid, donated substantial amounts of money to provide the funds needed for construction of the new school. I did benefit directly from their generosity, as have more than fifty classes of S.I. students since that time. I am well aware that most of those who supported the building fund throughout the 1960s have probably passed on by now. Still, I am grateful to them for making sacrifices to provide the venue for Saint Ignatius students to receive a top-quality Jesuit education for generations to come.

    Better late than never.

    A.M.D.G.