A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • Time to Celebrate!

    “There is no greater agony 
    than bearing an untold 
    story inside you.”
    Maya Angelou

    There is a great deal of wisdom in these inspiring words of author Maya Angelou, yet I know, from having read his book, All Things Beautiful, that Pat Maguire would respectfully disagree. No greater agony? I’m sorry, but Pat knows a thing or two about coping with deep agony. The reason I share Angelou’s quote here is because for most of us, her words are on-target. Many people I know hold untold stories inside themselves, and no small number of them struggle with the belief that they have no viable way of sharing their stories.

    Danish author Karen Blixen wrote, “All sorrows can be borne if you tell a story about them.” There is no doubt that writing about the traumas in our life can be quite therapeutic. The act of putting our story on paper can be a significant step in the healing process, yet some may ask Why bother?

    American poet Sean Thomas Dougherty addressed this question when he said, “Why bother? Because right now, there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of your words.”

    When Pat shared his story with me a couple of years ago, I told him straight-up, “You need to write your story.” I paraphrased Dougherty’s words to underscore why I would suggest he do so. Apparently, many others told Pat the same thing. So when I saw him at Java Beach in the spring, and he told me he was just about finished writing it, I asked him to send me the manuscript and I would edit it for him. This evening, just five months later, we are celebrating the publication of All Things Beautiful with a “book launch” event at Java Beach Café on Judah Street.

    Even after writing the manuscript, Pat wasn’t sure he wanted to publish it. He thought it was too private. His friend, Caeli, threatened that if he didn’t publish it, she would. Pat surprised her by handing her the manuscript. The published book is Pat’s story, but Caeli rewrote it so that it’s in the third person — she is telling Pat’s story… in his words… in his style of writing. Even author Oscar Wilde seemed to understand Pat’s reservations about publishing his own story. Wilde wrote, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” Honestly, Pat didn’t need a mask. His story, even in his own words, is brutally honest. For readers, however, the fact that they are hearing Pat’s story told by Caeli in such a kind, compassionate way, gives the book a touch of magic.

    The words of Pulitzer Prize winning author, Wallace Stegner, explain the need for Pat to write his story. Stegner wrote, “We write to make sense of it all.” And even then, even after writing the entire story, making sense of everything that has happened to us requires more than just writing it down. For Pat, it was his strong faith in Jesus Christ that guided him through the dense fog of despair and into the light of His glory. 

    Some readers might be taken aback at Pat’s writing style. Rather than expressing himself in grammatically perfect, well-manicured sentences and paragraphs, Pat writes in brief thoughts interspersed with ellipses (three dots). Those ellipses indicate that there is more to the story than what’s been said, and in many cases, much more to the story. I must agree with author Neil Gaiman who said, “If you write with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. So write your story as it needs to be written.” Without a doubt, Pat writes with such assurance and confidence. His writing style works. 

    Pat has never said this to me directly, but having read his manuscript more than a dozen times, and knowing Pat as I have come to know him in the past two years, I’m confident that he can relate to the writing experience of C.S. Lewis who said, “I never exactly made a book. It’s rather like taking dictation. I was given things to say.” I’m fairly certain this was Pat’s experience, too.  

    For those who might feel inclined to write their own story, I again refer to the wisdom of author Neil Gaiman. He wrote, “Start telling the stories that only you can tell, because there will always be better writers than you and there’ll always be smarter writers than you. There will always be people who are much better at doing this or doing that — but you are the only you.”

  • Morning Gratitude

    “Coffee… 
    the favorite beverage 
    of the civilized world.” 
    Thomas Jefferson

    I don’t drink coffee. Why? I dislike the taste. It’s that simple. The aroma of coffee, however, has been one of my favorite smells throughout my lifetime. It brings back vivid memories of times in the early- to mid-1960s when my paternal grandmother would stay at our home after being discharged from the hospital. She was a coffee drinker, while everyone in my family drank tea. 

    With that said, I am well aware of the importance of that first cup of coffee in the morning for most people. As Thomas Jefferson pointed out, I do believe that coffee is “the favorite drink of the civilized world.” 

    Throughout my professional career, coffee was provided for attendees at professional development sessions and other large gatherings of educators. Occasionally, tea would be offered as an option, but that was never guaranteed. The same was true for parent meetings at my kids’ schools. It was always coffee on the table in the back of the meeting room.

    Despite the fact that I don’t drink it, I appreciate the importance of coffee in the lives of others. While some consume their coffee in a “grab n’ go” mode on their way to work, many take the time to savor that first cup of coffee, either at home, at a local coffee shop, or when they arrive at their workplace. To be honest, I experience a similar feeling when I have the opportunity to begin my day with a cup of hot chocolate. It just makes the morning special. 

    So here’s an idea I’d like to propose: What if, while sipping that first cup of hot coffee each morning, you made a conscientious effort to take a moment’s pause for gratitude? With each sip of coffee, you could reflect with appreciation on the people in your life for whom you are grateful. You could recall, with gratitude, the experiences in your life which enabled you to be where you are in your life today. You could even identify the physical possessions you own, the ones you so often take for granted (your home, car, bed, clothes, computer, books,…), and take a moment to thank God for these blessings in your life. In an age in which multi-tasking is considered to be a valuable skill, this coffee/gratitude combination seems to provide an ideal opportunity to do just that.

    I invite and encourage you to take a moment’s pause for gratitude with your morning coffee each day. Just as the coffee will kick-start your energy level, a focus on gratitude will enable you to experience the day with a more positive mindset, and a greater awareness of the many ways in which you have been blessed. 

    Gratitude, perhaps even more so than coffee, makes a difference!

  • Late Night Thought

  • In My Own Words

    Sunset at Ocean Beach
    San Francisco
    Saturday, October 11, 2025

  • Helping Others

    It’s been almost twenty years since the movie The Bucket List hit the silver screen. After watching the film, I took some time to make my own bucket list — things I wanted to accomplish before my death. The #1 item on my list at that time was to write and publish a book. Ten years later, I published my first book, A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude. Since that time, I’ve written and published five more. While there is certainly a sense of accomplishment having done this, I am well aware that I didn’t do this on my own.

    Writing that first book was initially a daunting task for me. What gave me the idea that I could write and publish a book? Who would have any interest in reading my book even if I did managed to publish it? These and other obstacles danced around in my head. The desire to write and publish was still there, but I was lacking the confidence to initiate the process.

    In early 2017, I received an email pertaining to one of my blog posts. In that piece, I had mentioned the book Breakfast with Buddha, which my Mom had recommended to me. To be honest, the book title didn’t pique my interest, but Mom knew me better than anyone else and she thought I’d enjoy the book. She was right. Upon finishing the novel, I mentioned it in a blog post. Much to my surprise, just a few days later, I received an email message from the author, Roland Merullo, who lives in western Massachusetts. In a subsequent exchange of messages, he assured me that my writing skills were sufficient to write and publish. That’s what got me started.

    As the manuscript for my first book was coming together, I had the privilege of meeting another author. Hal Urban is a graduate of the University of San Francisco. He devoted his life to teaching at the high school and university (USF) levels. He had also authored a number of books, one of which I had read before I met him. I decided to seek his guidance as I ventured toward publishing a book of my own. His mentorship, then and now, has been a blessing. 

    One thing I have learned from my experience as a published writer is summed-up rather nicely by Michelle Obama in the quote above. “When you’ve worked hard, and done well, and walked through that door of opportunity, you do not slam it shut behind you. You reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.” 

    In the past few years, I’ve had the opportunity to help a few others publish their books. My Mom’s good friend, Bev, needed help republishing a previously published book about her ongoing recovery from a horrific car accident. My neighbor, Dominika, asked for my assistance editing and publishing her first book about growing up without siblings. My longtime friend, John, needed a little urging (and editing) to publish his book about the joys and challenges of nursing. And, most recently, I had the pleasure of working with my friend Patrick Maguire, the owner of Java Beach Café in The City, to publish his first book, All Things Beautiful. 

    I find tremendous satisfaction in encouraging and assisting others to achieve their own dream of writing and publishing a book. I can easily relate to the words of Indian actor Gautam Rode. He said, “I think we forget sometimes how blessed we are to be able to help others and make a difference.” As Martin Luther King, Jr. pointed out, “Life’s most persistent question is: What are you doing for others?”

  • Bare Feet

    “And forget not that the 
    earth delights to feel 
    your bare feet…” 
    Kahlil Gibran

    This quote, from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, may contain a valuable pearl of wisdom. How wonderful it is, for some folks, to walk through a forest, along a beach, or across a meadow with no shoes on their feet. I’m told that it is an experience which helps people to feel grounded. Walking barefoot can provide numerous physical and mental health benefits, primarily by strengthening foot muscles, improving balance, and reducing stress. Despite these benefits, however, walking barefoot can be downright painful.

    My friend and colleague, Dan Pasini, coached the track & field team at Saint Augustine’s College in the Bahamas fifty years ago. One of his best runners ran barefoot. The track around the Saint Augustine’s field was not an all-weather surface made of the polyurethane and rubber. At SAC, runners ran on a surface that was a combination of grass, limestone, and sand. In fact, it was a stretch to even call it a track. How anyone could run barefoot on such a rough surface is beyond my comprehension.

    Having grown up in San Francisco, I rarely, if ever, walked around outside without shoes on. One reason was the persistent cold and fog deterred anyone who might be inclined to do so. There were also social norms in The City which dictated that kids wear shoes to the park and to play around the neighborhood. No one I knew was in the habit of going barefoot.

    Because of this, the bottoms of my feet are incredibly tender to this day. I’m okay walking around inside our home on carpet, tile, and laminate flooring. The thought of stepping outside into our front patio without shoes is something I would not consider. The aggregate concrete would be painful for my feet.   

    So it was a bit strange for me to have a dream yesterday about walking in the sand at the beach. I took an afternoon nap. When Scarlett came by with her Dad to pick up Henry, she came up to my office where I was snoozing in the recliner. She was so gentle in waking me up. I was in the middle of a dream in which I was walking barefoot on warm, soft, white sand at a beach. It wasn’t the type of sand one would find at Ocean Beach in The City, or even at a beach in Santa Cruz. It was definitely an island beach, most likely in the Bahamas. 

    When I was much younger, the beach was one of the only places I would go barefoot, but even then, it was not easy for me. If the sand was too hot or too grainy, it would hurt the bottoms of my feet. It’s been many years since I’ve walked around with my shoes off outdoors, even at beaches in Nassau. When I visit one of the scenic beaches there now, I prefer to find a place to sit in the shade, with my shoes on, where I can enjoy a view of the beach, rather than being on the beach itself. 

    The earth may delight to feel my bare feet, as Gibran suggests in the quote above, but being barefoot is anything but a delight to me.

  • Just a Thought…

    “You will never reach your 
    destination if you stop 
    and throw stones at 
    every barking dog.”

    Winston Churchill

    I first came across this insightful quote back in 2012 when I was confronted by the incessant barking of a small handful of disgruntled colleagues in the workplace. Churchill’s words were a reminder to me then that I had a choice as to how to react, or not react, to these annoying distractions. The quote is just as pertinent today as it was thirteen years ago.

    The phrase serves as a metaphor for staying focused in life and not allowing the minor criticisms or distractions from others to interfere with our inner peace. The quote encourages us to simply ignore negativity and insignificant distractions (“barking dogs”) and continue to live our life with integrity, gratitude, and peace.

    As Viktor Frankl wrote, “The last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” I continue to be inspired by the words of the Dalai Lama, who proclaimed, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

  • Deb

    “Sudden loss remind us 
    to cherish each day.” 
    Jamie Anderson

    My cousin, Debbie, and I have been meeting for lunch once a month for the past couple of years. Each month, we pick a different restaurant somewhere between San Francisco and San José. Last month, we enjoyed a meal at the Alpine Inn, located in Portola Valley. Tomorrow we were going to meet at the Pilot Light Café at the Half Moon Bay airport. I had checked the online menu and already knew exactly what I was going to order.

    I was completely caught off-guard last night when I learned that Debbie passed away unexpectedly late Saturday night.

    Yesterday was a strange day. I woke up at 9:30 a.m., much later than usual. I got up and went through the motions of my day. For some reason, however, I couldn’t find the motivation to get dressed and do anything. After doing a little writing, I sat in the chair in my home office and fell asleep for almost two hours. Still in my pajamas, I got up, had a bite to eat, and spent some time working on advertising for my friend Pat’s newly-published book. After a brief visit by the grandkids, I found myself back in my office, in my chair, napping again. When I woke up, it was time for dinner, and I was still in my pajamas. I felt fine physically, but I was in a bit of a funk which I couldn’t understand… until I got the news. 

    Is it possible that I could, in some strange way, have sensed that Debbie had died? That would certainly explain the feeling of emptiness and the lack of motivation I felt throughout the day. I don’t understand it, but just maybe that’s what was going on with me.

    Despite all the extra sleep I got yesterday, I slept soundly for nine hours last night. Except for the obvious sense of loss, I feel good today. I decided to drive up to my happy place — Java Beach Café in The City. The sun is shining brightly with a gentle breeze coming from the east, so the temperature here at noon time is about 75º. I’ll spend a good part of today walking along the beach at Sunset Dunes Park and, perhaps, through other areas of The City, as well. 

    Debbie will be missed. Her laughter, love, and light will be forever etched into my memory.

  • In God’s Hands

    “Cast all your worries 
    upon him because 
    he cares for you.”      
    1 Peter 5:7

    It’s such a common response from well-intentioned people: “Put it in God’s hands.” It seems like such a compassionate thing to say to someone (or to yourself) who is dealing with struggles in their life. I’ve said this to people before, too. Yesterday afternoon, a thought crossed my mind, one which I’ve given consideration to in the past. Do we even have the power to put something in God’s hands?

    I know the meaning of this phrase is not about power. It’s about surrender. Some things in life are simply beyond our control, so for us to hold on to them, stubbornly believing that we can somehow affect a preferred outcome on our own, is an exercise in futility. By turning our concerns over to God, we believe that we can release ourselves from the burden of owning the issue. I understand this, but…

    Throughout my 43-year career in pastoral ministry and Catholic education, I participated in countless gatherings which began with prayer. Quite often, the prayer leader would begin by inviting participants to put themselves in the presence of God. Seriously? Aren’t we all already in God’s presence? I always thought this was a strange way for Catholic professionals to begin prayer.

    Yesterday, while walking in San Francisco, I met a two young men who were watching their daughters play soccer at Parkside Square Park, located at 27th & Vicente. One of the Dads mentioned that he had attended Saint Mary’s College in Moraga. I smiled and told him I had a test question for him. He initially squirmed at the thought, but good-heartedly agreed to give it a shot. I said, “Let us remember…”

    Immediately the gentleman replied, “…that we are in the holy presence of God.” I congratulated him for providing the correct response. Saint Mary’s College is an educational institution run by the Christian Brothers. In the tradition of the Brothers, communal prayer begins with this brief verbal exchange. Even though I am the product of Jesuit education (high school, undergrad, and graduate school), in my years of teaching, I began class prayer each day using the Christian Brothers’ formula. I would say aloud, “Let us remember…” My students, in unison, would respond, “…that we are in the holy presence of God.” Then, after a brief pause, prayer would continue. 

    My point is that there is no need, nor is it even possible, for us to “put ourselves” in God’s presence. We are already there! Using this same rationale, I question the recommendation that I, and so many others, have casually given to people that they “put their problem (whatever it is) into God’s hands.” God already knows what’s going on. God already cares what’s going on. God already wants us to be happy.

    Yes, we have the ability to surrender our troubles to God, but this is not about us putting anything in God’s hands. It’s about us acknowledging that our concerns are already in God’s hands. This, in itself, should bring us a tremendous sense of peace.

  • This

    And that’s okay. 

    It’s been said that all saints have a past, and all sinners have a future. What an encouraging thought! There is no need for us to dwell on the mistakes or poor decisions of our past. Every moment wasted regretting our past inhibits us from moving forward and embracing the opportunities of our future.

    I find tremendous solace in the hopeful words of C.S. Lewis. He wrote, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”