A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • 01.05.23 – California Dreamin’

    We dealt with several years of drought,
    our lawns all turned to brown.
    Conserving water was the norm.
    Couldn’t always flush it down. 

    We’d prayed for rain for quite some time,
    but little did we get.
    For years we went about our days,
    without us getting wet. 

    But now, in 2023,
    our lives are not the same,
    ‘cause someone turned the faucet on.
    We’re finally getting rain! 

    The news reports are calling it
    an atmospheric river.
    Torrential rain and howling winds
    are causing us to shiver.

    Streets are flooded, trees are down,
    it’s really quite a mess.
    It’s leaving many homeowners
    aghast and in distress.

    They say there’s much more rain to come
    within the next few weeks. 
    I pray for those who live along
    the rivers and the creeks. 

    For me, of course, I’m grateful for
    the answer to our prayers.
    Yet, still, I am concerned for those
    whose homes will need repairs.

    “This, too, shall pass,” is what’s been said.
    Resilience is the key.
    Still California Dreamin’!
    That’s the way it’s meant to be.

    © kmc 2023

  • 01.03.22 – Conscious Spending

    “Beware of little expenses;
    a small leak will sink a great ship.”

    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    I stopped at Sprout’s to pick up some bread yesterday. I knew we had lunchmeat at home, but our bread supply was low the last time I checked, so I wanted to be sure I could make a sandwich when I got home. I was hungry. As I returned to my car after checking-out at the store, I noticed that Five Guys Burgers was just a few steps away from my car. Suddenly, I had a craving for a hot dog with grilled onions, fries, and a vanilla shake. 

    Ka-ching! $20.17

    Recently, on my way home from wherever I had been, I stopped for a hot drink at a local Starbucks. The weather was cold, and a bit drizzly that afternoon, so I felt justified in treating myself. I ordered a grande hot chocolate, with whipped cream, of course. The cashier asked if I would like anything else. I had no intention of making another purchase, but I took a quick glance at the items in the display case next to the register. The cinnamon coffee cake immediately caught my eye. $3.25 for the hot chocolate. $3.55 for the cinnamon coffee cake.

    Ka-ching! $6.80

    Not too long ago, Kathy and I were enjoying another excellent dinner at Mio Vicino Italian Restaurant in Santa Clara. As our meal was coming to an end, the server politely asked Kathy if she would like another glass of wine. After a brief hesitation, and with a word of encouragement from me, she accepted the server’s offer.

    Ka-ching! $16.00 for the extra glass of wine

    There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these purchases. They do, however, provide excellent examples of how easy it is to spend money unnecessarily every day. What makes these purchases even easier is the convenience of paying by credit card. We don’t see the cash leaving our hands when we make these purchases. They simply add up throughout the month and appear on our credit card statement, which we, sometimes thoughtlessly, pay. 

    $27.40 isn’t a lot of money. It’s hardly going to break the bank. But as we go through our day, each day, making a variety of random, unnecessary purchases, it doesn’t take long for us to reach the $27.40 level. Now multiply that times the number of days in a year. That’s where the cost gets our attention.

    Ka-ching! $10,000!

    By no means am I suggesting that we deprive ourselves of enjoying some of the things we desire. It is essential, however, that we embrace the practice of conscious spending. I thoroughly enjoy an occasional hot chocolate from a local coffee shop. I believe there is tremendous value in going out to dinner with Kathy on a fairly regular basis. Since I am most often the designated driver, it’s okay for Kathy to enjoy that second glass of wine from time to time, too. The problem arises when we fail to pay adequate attention to our spending habits. Mature adults must practice the art of conscious spending. By doing so, we can avoid falling prey to the addiction of thoughtless, irresponsible purchasing.  

  • 01.02.23 – Blessing or Curse?

    I remember the simple song I heard, and occasionally sang, when I was a child: “Rain, rain, go away, come again another day…”

    We don’t hear that song so much anymore — at least not here in California. We’ve been in desperate need of rain for several years now. Local reservoirs dropped to alarmingly low levels. Water conservation became a top priority up and down the state. Church communities, as well as individual persons of faith, have been praying for rain for several years. It seems that their prayers have been answered.

    As of this morning, the City of San Francisco has received 154% of its average rainfall to date. San José isn’t far behind at 121%. And the local weather report this morning called for more “atmospheric rivers” to arrive both this week and next!

    I thoroughly enjoy experiencing the rain… from inside. Whether I’m at home, in my car, or sitting in a local coffee shop with a cinnamon roll and hot chocolate, a good rain storm nourishes my soul. So rain is good, right? Well,… that depends.

    A friend of mine lives in the hills above Redwood City, which is located about halfway between San José and San Francisco. Recent rains have caused significant damage to his home. Two downstairs offices, a bathroom, a supply room, and parts of his garage were seriously flooded this past weekend. With more rain predicted for this week and next, things may even get worse. 

    Due to the fact that similar flooding has affected many others in his neighborhood, my friend has had a difficult time finding a water damage company that isn’t already overloaded with calls. Fortunately, my friend has an amazingly positive outlook on life. His response to this crisis? “Life happens.”

    Whether any particular experience is a blessing or a curse depends upon our mindset. A Jewish folktale illustrates this point. It tells the story of an old man and his strong son, on whom he relied heavily for the workload on his farm. One day, while attempting to break in a new horse, the young man was thrown from the animal. His leg shattered in two places. Neighbors came by to comfort the young man and his elderly father. “Perhaps it is a blessing, perhaps it is a curse,” the old man told them. “Only time will tell.”

    Not long after the accident, a group of soldiers came into the town to conscript all the young men for military service. Because of his serious leg injury, the young man was not taken. None of the other young men returned alive from the war.  

  • 01.01.23 – Lighthouses

    As I mention in the introductory words of this page, I have always had a special place in my heart for lighthouses. This led to an interesting situation when I began working at Saint Lawrence Parish in Santa Clara.

    The office space when I began my work there came unfurnished. I was given a budget to purchase the necessary items — desk, chairs, file cabinet, etc. Wall decorations were not included in the deal. Of course, I wanted the office to look good and complete, so I purchased four framed photos to hang on the walls. Two of the photos were images of sunsets and two were of lighthouses. 

    When my first Christmas at Saint Lawrence came around, my secretary gave me a thoughtful gift. It was a beautiful lighthouse filled with Old Spice cologne. I’m not one to use cologne, but I liked the lighthouse, so I put it on my desk as a decoration. I kept it on my desk for 31 years!

    The following summer, one of my other colleagues gave me a gift she purchased for me while on a trip to Hawaii with her family. It was a transparent, hard plastic paperweight with a lighthouse scene etched in it. It was nice. It, too, found a home on my desk.

    As time went on, many people who came into my office or classroom noticed that I had a small collection of lighthouses. Because of this, for many years, students would give me small ceramic lighthouses from around the country as gifts at Christmas or at the end of the academic year. It ended up being quite a large collection. By the time I retired, I had more than fifty lighthouses, or pictures of lighthouses in my workspace.

    I do have a special place in my heart for lighthouses, but I was unable to bring all those items home with me when I retired. I invited students in the last class I taught to select an item if they wanted one. I kept one, which now sits on my desk here in my home office.

    Lighthouses provide guidance to those at sea. They point the way to safety, or, at least, they indicate areas of danger to avoid. I like to provide similar guidance with much of my writing. I like to encourage people to move forward, with confidence, in the direction of their dreams and callings. And, occasionally, I share a story or two about experiences I’ve had in my life which might help others to avoid making the same mistakes in their own lives. 

    There are many lighthouses in our lives, people or resources which guide us on our life journey. It’s important that we identify them, acknowledge them, and use the light of their beacon to light the way for us. Life is challenging. We can use all the help we can get! 

  • 12.31.22 – Happy? Seriously!

    Yes, a new year is upon us. Like it or not, time marches on. Is this, in itself, a reason to be happy?

    I know a number of people who, at this very moment, are grieving the loss of a loved one. I know a number of people who are dealing with life-threatening illnesses. I know a number of people whose complicated and challenging life situations could be described as anything but “happy.” 

    All we have to do is look around and we are sure to see people dealing with homelessness, addiction, financial concerns, violence, and various mental health issues. The political division in our country today is disconcerting. The absence of peace in many parts of our world, and the suffering of so many people living in those regions, is heartbreaking. Despite all this, we celebrate the arrival of the new year by proclaiming “Happy New Year!”

    Why?

    One response to this question might be that this annual proclamation is a challenge — and an invitation, perhaps, to accept the notion that happiness is a choice. I’m certainly not saying that it’s an easy choice. For many people, these are difficult times. Happiness can easily seem elusive, if not altogether unattainable. Yet, we are reminded by Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote: “The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Powerful words.

    Frankl does not suggest that choosing one’s attitude is always easy. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him during his time in the concentration camp in Auschwitz. He does, however, remind us that the option of choosing happiness is available to us — difficult as our circumstances may be.

    Dag Hammarskjöld served as Secretary-General of the United Nations from April 1953 to the time of his death in September 1961. One of his many contributions to civilization was these simple words — words which may help us to embrace happiness in our lives, not only on New Year’s Day, but throughout the year, as well. He wrote, “For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes!” Hopeful words.

    I wish you all the best in 2023. Seriously!

  • 12.30.22 – On Kindness

    Steve Hartman is a broadcast journalist with CBS News. He is, perhaps, best known for his “On the Road (with Steve Hartman)” segments, which feature good people doing good things for others. I wasn’t surprised to learn that Steve is a graduate of St. John’s Jesuit High School in Toledo, Ohio. Helping others to see the good in the world, and encouraging us to make a positive difference in the world by doing good for others, is consistent with a Jesuit education. This past Wednesday evening, I watched a CBS News Special: The Gift: Kindness Goes Viral with Steve Hartman. What an inspirational hour of television!

    If you missed the program, click the link above and treat yourself to a masterpiece of broadcast journalism. We don’t need to be told how important it is to be kind, but it does seem that we need to be reminded from time to time.

    Every day, without exception, we have opportunities to be kind to others. How easy it is to miss out on many of these opportunities simply because we have not developed a kindness mindset. Bishop Desmond Tutu made it sound quite simple when he wrote, “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

    Sadly, we often convince ourselves that we do not have the power to make a significant difference in the world. While it’s true that most of us will never be recognized for having such a profound impact on civilization that streets, schools, or public buildings will be named after us, we do, as Tutu reminds us, have the ability to affect positive change with those we encounter each day. Even if we make a difference in the life of only one person each day, we are contributing to making our world a better place.

    In his CBS Special, Hartman points out that there is a ripple effect to doing good. Some call it the “pay it forward” effect. When we do something good for one person, there’s a very good chance that person will do something good for someone else. Hartman even interviewed a mathematician from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to prove the validity of this claim mathematically. 

    In our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our schools or workplaces, we have the power to do kind things for others — simple things, like holding a door open, smiling, or acknowledging the presence of those we encounter as we go about our day. There are countless other opportunities to do even more. I encourage you to take the time to watch Hartman’s CBS Special. I’m confident that you will be motivated to do something good for others.  

  • 12.29.22 – “Bless me, Father…”

    “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last confession. I have been doing, um, some things… with one of the girls in my class which the Bible says I should not be doing.”

    “Oh, my,” responded Monsignor Connolly. “Johnny McCarthy, I know this is you. Did you do these things with Elizabeth Brown?”

    “No, Father.”

    “Was it with Michaela Martin?”

    “No, Father.”

    “Well then, surely you must have done these things with Priscilla O’Connor.”

    “No, Father. It wasn’t her, either.”

    “Oh, well,… I want you to say a three Hail Marys and make better choices in the future.”

    “Yes, Father.”

    When Johnny exited the confessional, his friends, Mikey and Jason, were waiting for him.

    “What did he say?” Mikey asked.

    “Did he give you a huge punishment?” inquired Jason.

    “No, not at all,” Johnny replied. “But I did get three good leads!”

    __________________

    Confession, officially called The Sacrament of Penance, yet more commonly referred to as the Sacrament of Reconciliation, isn’t what it used to be. In my childhood, Saturday afternoon confessions drew a crowd. There were also lines outside the confessionals during Sunday Masses. Today, it seems as though one needs an appointment to confess their sins — and people rarely do these days. 

    Some might like to believe that there is less sinning happening in our world today. I sincerely doubt it. Quite the contrary, in fact. The Sacrament of Penance, however, has become obsolete for a large number of Catholics. Dare I say most?

    I’ve never particularly embraced this sacrament. First of all, I’ve never liked addressing priests with the title “Father.” This is a very special word which, for me, referred only to my biological Dad and to the first person of the Holy Trinity. (Even that one never really made sense to me. Why do we place limits on our understanding of God by attaching human qualities?) 

    Is there any value to asking forgiveness for our wrongdoings? Isn’t there something noble about seeking reconciliation with those we have harmed? Of course, the answer to these two questions is affirmative. So why are “good Catholics” expected to confess sins to a priest?

    I guess it helps to answer another question? When, exactly, are our sins forgiven? Is it when the priest says, “…and I absolve you of your sins…?” Or, perhaps, it is when we complete the “penance” given to us by the priest for the sins we confessed.

    I attended Catholic schools from first grade (1960) through graduate school (1984). Somewhere along the way, it was brought to my attention that our sins are forgiven by God (not by a priest) when we are truly contrite for the wrongdoings we’ve done. Hmmm… So what, exactly, does that have to do with confessing our sins to a priest? It seems that it would make more sense to humbly seek forgiveness, when appropriate, from the person we harmed.

    I took the photo above in Saint Ignatius Church, located on the campus of the University of San Francisco. This was a common worship space for my family throughout my formative years. I don’t know if this confessional is still used for The Sacrament of Penance. It does, however, remind me of my own sinfulness — my own need to seek reconciliation with others, and with God. I just don’t feel that I need the intervention of a priest to do so.    

  • 12.27.22 – Rain

    “The best thing one can do
    when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

    ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

    I love rainy days — not the annoying soft drizzle which sprays the earth with a fine mist, but a consistent, prolonged downpour which cleans the air, disinfects the trees, washes the pavement, and nourishes my soul. In recent years, such rain storms have been rare in California. Beginning today, and continuing for the next two weeks, the San Francisco Bay Area is expecting to get soaked. Given the drought conditions we’ve been under for the past several years, this is something for which to be grateful.

    While I enjoy the rain, I prefer to experience it from the warmth and comfort of my home. Gazing out the window of my home office brings me tremendous solitude, especially on a day like today. The sound of rain tapping against the window is music to my ears. In some ways, it is similar to driving my car through the local car wash. I put the car in neutral, then just sit back and relax as the cleaning process plays out. Driving away in a clean car is always a refreshing experience for me. Rainy days can be like this, too.

    I’m grateful to have nowhere to go today. In fact, there is nowhere I need to go for the next two weeks! I’m totally content to stay home and enjoy nature’s cleansing power. 

    As the English writer, John Ruskin, so eloquently proclaimed, “There is no such thing as bad weather.”

  • 12.26.22 – Christmas

    Christmas Day 2022 has come and gone. Has this year been better than previous years? I guess it depends upon who you ask. Three years into the Covid-19 pandemic, we’re still dealing with alarming surges in positive cases across the country and around the world. Politics is still politics. The economy has been a blessing for some and a curse for many. And as families gathered to celebrate the holidays, many were grieving the loss of loved ones. Still others were trying to cope with significant medical issues — their own or those of family and friends. Despite it all, we did our best to celebrate the holidays in whatever way we could.

    Kathy and I are grateful to have gathered with our three sons, two daughters-in-law, and four grandchildren here at our home on Christmas Eve. The little ones kept the magic of Christmas alive as they marveled at the Christmas tree, beautifully decorated with lights and ornaments. They also had a great time opening a few gifts which had been wrapped and placed under the tree for safekeeping. Kathy prepared a delicious Christmas meal featuring lasagna from Tony & Alba’s Restaurant in San José. Lasagna for Christmas Eve dinner was a tradition in Kathy’s family of origin. Her Dad made the best!

    On Christmas Day, Kathy and I enjoyed the peace and solitude of our own home. For the first time since we met in 1984, it was just the two of us for Christmas dinner this year. Yes, it was different. Then, again, much in our lives is different now. We watched a little football, then watched two Christmas classics on TV — It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story. Of course, we’d seen both many times before, but the experience was no less enjoyable.

    While most of the nation was dealing with bitter cold temperatures and blizzard conditions, Christmas weekend here in San José was delightful with temperatures in the mid-60s. Only now, as we begin the countdown to 2023, are we preparing for what local meteorologists are calling an atmospheric river. This multiple band of rainstorms is set to begin some time this evening and continue for up to two weeks. It won’t be cold. We won’t have to deal with snow. We’re just going to get a good soaking here on the West Coast, something we desperately need to relieve the drought conditions which have existed for the past few years.

    Life is not perfect, but it is good.

    Very good!   

  • 12.22.22 – Better to Give

    This video showed up on my Facebook feed today. Thanks to my former student, Elaine (Sobejana) Chatterton, for sharing it. Sorry for the brief commercial that precedes the story.

    From CBS News (click this)