A Beacon of Light

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  • My name is Kevin Carroll. I was born and raised in San Francisco, California, where I attended Saint Ignatius College Preparatory. I am a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. Following a 40-year career in teaching and pastoral ministry, I launched a new career as a writer and speaker.

    I live in San José, California. My wife, Kathy, and I have three adult sons and five precious grandchildren. I have much for which to be grateful.

    I can be reached via email at kmc43sjc@gmail.com

    My books are available for purchase online from Amazon. I also have copies of some of these titles at my home for those who would like to buy them directly from me.

    A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude  (2017)

    Cherries in the Summer  (2021)

    The Ambassador of 38th Avenue  (2022)

    Dad: 12 Questions…  (2023)

    A Focus on Gratitude  (2024)

    Through the Lens of Gratitude  (2024)

    A Bahamian Odyssey (2026)

  • Lyon’s in Westlake

    “Dessert is not a meal;
    it’s a moment.” 
    Anh Luu 

    During my high school years in San Francisco, there were a number of venue options for gathering with friends after a school dance, a game, a performing arts presentation, or just to get together for the sake of getting together. One of my favorite places to hang out was the world-famous Ghirardelli Square. Groups of us went there on a number of occasions to indulge in our favorite chocolate factory desserts and enjoy the ambiance of the historic site with our friends. The Front Room on Clement Street was another favorite spot. The pizza there never disappointed. More often than anyplace else, however, we drove out to Westlake for dessert at Lyon’s Restaurant on John Daly Boulevard near Highway 280. There was nothing like topping off an evening with friends by indulging in one of their delectable hot fudge sundaes.

    Whether I was with my date for the evening or with a larger group of friends, Lyon’s offered a safe, convenient, and affordable place for a late-night dessert and conversation. The service was always excellent. I am grateful that my father taught me, early-on in life, the importance of leaving a generous tip. The servers got to know us, and they knew I would leave an appropriate gratuity to express our appreciation.

    It’s been more than fifty years since those post-event visits to Lyon’s in the early ‘70s. The restaurant closed quite a few years ago and the retail space reopened as Boulevard Café, which rivals Lyon’s in terms of the quality of both their food and service. 

    I don’t know where high school students in The City gather after dances, games, and other school-related events today. Times have changed considerably since my high school days. What I do know is that I am grateful for the wonderful memories I have of the high school events I attended, the hot fudge sundaes I enjoyed at Lyon’s, and the time spent with my friends through those formative years. 

  • The Journey Continues

    “Intentions often melt
    in the face of
    unexpected opportunity.” 
    Shirley Temple

    If you know me, you may or may not be aware that my professional career has been one of responding to unexpected opportunities — St. Augustine’s College (Nassau), Bellarmine College Prep (San José), St. Christopher School & Parish (San José), St. Lawrence Academy and Parish (Santa Clara), St. Victor School (San José), and, most recently, the Adult Education Program of Santa Clara Unified School District. This list represents more than 40 years of employment as an educator. 

    In the ‘sixties and early ‘seventies, my intention was to work as a firefighter in San Francisco. That changed as a result of having been offered a full-time teaching position at a catholic school in the Bahamas. Following my graduation from Santa Clara University, my intention was to continue teaching at Bellarmine, where I had been a part-time teacher for three years while completing my undergraduate degree. That changed when there were no openings at the South Bay’s finest high school that year. In 2015, after 31 years at St. Lawrence, my intention was to retire from teaching and devote my time and effort to writing. While I’ve done this, I found myself back in the classroom at St. Victor School as an emergency long-term sub in 2019. After leaving that job in June 2021, again my intention was to focus on writing. The unexpected invitation to teach two writing courses for adults in Santa Clara beginning in the fall of 2023 led me back to the classroom once again.

    My professional career has been a delightful spiritual journey. There were certainly some bumps in the road along the way, but I’ve learned to see those challenges as opportunities for personal and professional growth. I also learned the importance of embracing The Serenity Prayer when confronted with situations over which I had no control. As a friend had warned me back in the fall of 1984, working for the Church did challenge my faith. My faith in God was, and is, unshaken. My faith in the Catholic Church as an institution of credibility and integrity has been shaken to the core.

    So yes, I still consider myself to be retired. I teach only one day each week for Santa Clara Adult Education — a Creative Writing course on Tuesday mornings and a Poetry Writing course on Tuesday evenings. I am enjoying the experience immensely, so much so, in fact, that I simply cannot consider this to be “work.”

    I have always embraced my teaching career as a vocation, much more than just an occupation. As American author and educator Parker J. Palmer pointed out, “Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening.” He goes on to say that we must listen to our lives, and try to understand what they are about — quite apart from what we would like them to be about. If we fail to do this, our lives will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest our intentions. 

  • A Hidden Treasure

    “No act of kindness
    is ever wasted.” 
    Aesop

    I had one of those serendipitous moments around noontime yesterday when I happened upon a hidden treasure in Santa Clara. While walking from the classroom where I teach Creative Writing on Tuesday mornings to the main office of the Santa Clara Adult Education Program, I met Jackie Reyes. She was assisting a local resident with picking out some clothing the woman needed for her family. Until that time, I was unaware that right there, on the campus where I teach, is the Family Resource Center of the Santa Clara Unified School District.

    The resource center offers a variety of services to economically disadvantaged Santa Clara residents. These services include educational and parenting workshops, referrals for healthcare, social services, and housing, as well as monthly food distributions. In addition, residents in need have access to a pantry of food, toiletries, clothing, and school supplies. As one might expect, the center relies on the compassionate generosity of local residents to provide these valuable items for their clients.

    With Christmas less than a week away, the greatest need at the Family Resource Center right now is clothing for middle school and high school girls and boys. Donations of new or gently used clothing may be dropped off at 1840 Benton Street (near Lincoln Street), Building C, between the hours of 8:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. Monday through Friday.

    Kathy Calvin, the former CEO of the United Nations Foundation, pointed out, “Giving is not just about making a donation. It’s about making a difference.” Yes, our donations to the Family Resource Center will make a positive difference in the lives of economically challenged families. 

    Giving from our heart is one of the most satisfying experiences in life. It’s for this reason that author Roy T. Bennett urged us to “…help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.” This is the true spirit of giving.

    We might mistakenly believe that what we have to offer would be too small to truly make a significant difference in the lives of others. Nothing could be further from the truth. As Olympic gold medalist Hannah Teter pointed out, “It doesn’t take a big donation to help someone, just a lot of little donations.”

    We do have the ability to make a positive difference in the lives of others. I invite and encourage you to consider a donation of new or gently used clothing to the Family Resource Center in Santa Clara. Your generosity will most certainly make a difference in the lives of others.

    Family Resource Center
    Santa Clara Unified School District
    1840 Benton Street, Building C
    Santa Clara, CA 95050

  • Crunch! Gulp!

    Author S. K. Logsdon once described biscotti as “an orgasm on a plate.” I would not use such a drastic comparison, but I will agree with the writer that biscotti, when prepared well, is one of the best desserts one can possibly enjoy. I’m not sure anyone makes a better variety of biscotti than Roxanne Vinciguerra, owner of Roxanne’s Biscotti in Morgan Hill, California.

    I lucked upon Roxanne’s treats when Kathy and I enjoyed dinner at Tony & Alba’s Pizza and Pasta on Stevens Creek Boulevard in San José. After an amazing meal, we treated ourselves to a serving of almond biscotti. It was hard and crunchy, as biscotti tends to be, and incredibly flavorful. I was so impressed with the dessert that I came home, Googled “Roxanne’s Biscotti,” and wrote a handwritten thank you note to the baker expressing my appreciation for her product. Yes, it was that good.

    Biscotti are Italian almond biscuits (or, as Americans call them, “cookies”) which originated in the northeastern part of Tuscany. Biscotti are described as “twice-baked, oblong-shaped, dry, and crunchy.” They are delicious alone, but some people prefer to dip their cookie in hot coffee or tea to soften it up a little bit. I would prefer to dip mine into a cup of hot chocolate or, perhaps, a glass of cabernet. No matter how you eat it, biscotti is certain to be a delectable treat.

    Roxanne’s Biscotti
    16860 Joleen Way
    Morgan Hill CA 95037

  • Let It Go!

    “Acceptance does not
    imply liking or wanting,
    nor does it represent
    giving up, giving in, or resignation.
    Simply put, acceptance means
    gently holding whatever arises.” 
    Jill Stoddard

    The loss of a child of any age can be, and in most cases probably is, a devastating experience. The anticipated order of operations in life leads us to believe that parents should not have to bury their children, even if the child is in his mid-50’s. It’s not supposed to work that way, but sometimes it does. A young person dies, a parent cries.

    Coping with death — any death — can be a painful experience. The loss of an offspring, however, takes that pain to a new level. Coping with the aftermath of such a loss has the potential to overwhelm us for a lifetime.

    We all know that life is not fair. We are all aware that bad things happen to good people. It’s no secret that the events of our life, or the lives of those around us, have the potential to derail what otherwise might be a smooth journey toward the future. So how do we cope? What can we do to get through such difficult times?

    Most people are familiar with the Serenity Prayer, which continues to offer wisdom to those struggling with life’s many challenges:

    God, grant me the serenity
    to accept the things
    I cannot change,
    the courage to
    change the things I can,
    and the wisdom
    to know the difference.

    Japanese culture also has a pearl of wisdom to share with us on this topic. I first read about it in the book Farewell to Manzanar, which described the plight of United States citizens of Japanese origin who were placed in internment camps here in the U.S. during World War II. In the book, which was written collaboratively by James D. Houston and Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston, introduces readers to the insightful concept of Shikata ga nai. 

    Shikata ga nai translates to “it cannot be helped” or “nothing can be done about it.” So often, we hope and pray for one outcome, yet we find ourselves dealing with something different — something less. Shikata ga nai encourages us to accept the reality of what is and to move forward in life with a recognition and acceptance of the fact that we cannot change the situation. By adopting this mindset, we can minimize the frustration and angst generated by the event, thereby enabling us to proceed with confidence and courage. 

    Things in life don’t always turn out the way we would like, so having an effective resource to cope with these challenging times can be incredibly beneficial. 

  • Sharing & Healing

    “We write to be heard.
    We write to heal.” 
    Mitta Xinindlu

    Prior to the creation of Facebook, a platform called MySpace was the go-to social media site. The concept of social media was relatively new at the time. Xanga preceded MySpace, but back in those days, I had little knowledge of, and absolutely no interest in social media. I learned of the existence of this new form of communication from my kids and my students. From the very start, I realized that social media could be either positive or dangerously negative.

    As the popularity of Facebook increased, even among adults, I saw no use for such a site for myself. Social media was for kids, or so I thought.

    As time went on, the use of Facebook became a vital component of the fabric of people’s social and work life. In many cases, employers urged workers to use the social media platform to engage with customers. Consumers began to recognize that Facebook enabled them to interact and share photos with out-of-town family and friends in a way that email could not match. Before long, it was quite normal for adults to have a social media site.

    Not surprisingly, the younger generation wasn’t always pleased with this. What had started as MySpace was suddenly “OurSpace,” and that just wasn’t cool. I heard the story of one young man whose mother sent him a friend request on Facebook. In response, he posted the following message for his friends: “My mom’s on FB now. WTF?” I guess he hadn’t given much thought to the fact that his mother would also have the opportunity to see his message. When she inquired as to the meaning of “WTF,” the young man brilliantly replied, “Oh,… uh,… Welcome to Facebook!”

    By 2010, not only my three sons, but my wife, my siblings, and even my mother all had Facebook accounts. It was then that I decided it was time to hop on board and check it out.

    It has been an absolute joy reconnecting with former classmates, former students from various schools, women and men with whom I grew up in the Sunset District, and family members around the world. Initially I didn’t always do so, but today I intentionally keep my social media posts positive and up-lifting, though I will occasionally post something challenging, and not always popular. 

    Perhaps my favorite reason for embracing the use of social media is to share my writing. From 2006 to 2022, I maintained a blog called Attitude of Gratitude. After posting nearly 2,000 articles on that site, I launched this blog as a way of promoting positivity in the world. My reasons for writing are very much in line with author Mitta Xinindlu’s quote above. 

    I write to be heard. I believe I have valuable insights to share, so I write and post my work on social media. I also write to heal. My life has been good — very good, in fact, but like most people, I have had experiences which have required a bit of healing. Writing is my therapy. Posting what I’ve written enables me to express and share thoughts and feelings which might otherwise be bottled-up inside me. I recognize that my ability and desire to write are God-given gifts. This realization contributes significantly to my unwavering focus on gratitude, as well as to my insatiable desire to share these gifts with others.

    Social media most definitely has a dark side, but I choose not to go there. My calling, at this point in my life, is to spread positivity and to inspire others to both see the good and be the good in the world. 

  • Stop!

    “Talk to yourself
    like you would to
    someone you love.” 
    Brené Brown

    For an alarming number of people, negative self-talk is a formidable obstacle to both success and happiness in life. Such thoughts creep into our consciousness when, instead of focusing on the challenge at hand, we ruminate about past situations which did not go well — or we envision a future complicated by all the things that could possibly go wrong (and, most often, don’t.) 

    So what can we do when we are confronted by negative self-thoughts?

    Some experts recommend the practice of reframing. This is a strategy which enables us to reflect upon and identify the root causes of such negative thinking. Our initial response to a situation with which we are confronted is often flawed. Rather than immediately seeking viable options for addressing the issue at hand, we allow negative self-talk to paralyze us, causing self-doubt, frustration, and unnecessary stress. Instead of taking the time to critically evaluate these thoughts, we often accept them unquestioningly and allow them to overwhelm us, convincing ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to deal effectively with the situation.

    Fortunately, there are strategies we can utilize to minimize, if not altogether eliminate, these demoralizing feelings.

    The first step is to recognize these thoughts for what they are, reminding ourselves that we are competent individuals who are capable of handling whatever comes our way. Harsh judgments we make about ourselves are most often not accurate. It is critical that we discern the validity of these thoughts.

    The second step is to consider an alternative response. Rather than allowing ourselves to be convinced of our inability to adequately handle a situation, we need to recognize our strengths and abilities so that we can use these gifts to move forward with a positive mindset.

    Finally, when we recognize that we are judging ourselves harshly in the future, we need to evaluate our initial response to the situation and reflect on the value of a more positive, more enabling response — one which acknowledges and embraces the strengths within us.

    It may take awhile for us to hone the skill of reframing, but doing so will empower us to accept the challenges which confront us in life with confidence and conviction. As Viktor Frankl wrote in his autobiographical work Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken from a man but… the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”    

  • Times of Crisis

    “Our anxiety does not come
    from thinking about the future,
    but from wanting to control it.” 
    Kahlil Gibran

    We all go through them. They can happen in the workplace, in relationships, or in our spiritual life. Moments of emptiness are real; and more common, perhaps, than we’d like to admit. In a world dominated by social media, it might be difficult for us to recognize that we’re not the only ones who experience such challenging times. Comparing our ordinary humdrum existence with the highlight reels others post on their Facebook page can feed the discontentment we’re already experiencing in our own life. We find ourselves overcome with a sense of inadequacy, stress, and often emptiness.

    It is critical that we acknowledge that this painful phenomenon is common to us all. In a recent interview published in Germany’s Die Zeit weekly newspaper, even Pope Francis talked about moments of his own personal emptiness. He said, “I, too, know moments of emptiness… One cannot grow without crises…” The pope was speaking about the challenge of faith, but his comments are equally applicable to many other aspects of life.

    Those familiar with this feeling know all too well that moments of emptiness can be a source of significant crisis in our life. For awhile, things go along quite nicely. We are content with life as we’re experiencing it. Family life is good. Work is going well. We are enjoying excellent health. And finances seem to be taking care of themselves. Then,… Whack! We get blindsided by something that rocks us to the core. Or, perhaps, it wasn’t so much a Whack! as it was a slow, steady decline in the quality of one or more aspects of our life. Whichever the case, we can find ourselves out of balance, trying to regain some degree of stability. The feeling can be overwhelming, frightening, and it can create a genuine crisis in our life.

    Then, just when we think life couldn’t possibly get any worse, we become aware of a coworker, a friend, a neighbor, or a friend of a friend whose situation is far more devastating than our own. Such a realization doesn’t necessarily make us feel better about our own crisis, but it certainly helps us to put it in perspective. At times such as these, it’s helpful to recall that in the Chinese language, the word “crisis” requires two characters which, together, mean “crisis” as we understand it in English. Individually, however, each of the two characters has a stand-alone meaning: one means “danger.” The other means “opportunity.”

    Such a profound change in perspective provides us with the opportunity to look at our own life in a different way — through the lens of gratitude. Yes, we can continue to focus on what’s not going well in our life, but we also have the option to make a conscientious effort to focus on what is going well for us at the moment. A focus on gratitude enables us to do this quite effectively. Our situation may not change, but how we view it most certainly can, and this can be liberating.

    Coping effectively with stress in our life may also require a self-imposed “Time Out!” For some, it may suffice to take a mental health day or two off work. For some, it might require a spa day, a bit of retail therapy, or a weekend retreat. For others, a few weeks on a Caribbean island might be what they need. What’s important is that we prioritize our health and well-being over the situation causing the stress. This may not be easy, but it’s well worth the cost, time, and effort.

    Self-care is not selfish.

  • Naughty or Nice?

    “Dear Santa:
    Please define ‘naughty.’
    Yours truly,…” 
    Author Unknown

    The annual time of reckoning is approaching. We all learned, early on in life, that Santa’s generosity at Christmas would be reflective of our behavior throughout the year. Would we get the desired perfect gift or would we find a lump of coal in our Christmas stocking? This was much more of a concern for some of us than for others. Strangely, in all the times I stood in line at the Emporium in the Stonestown Shopping Center in San Francisco waiting patiently to sit on Sant’s lap, I never thought to ask him to clarify what he meant by naughty.

    To say that I got into a bit of trouble in my younger days would be an understatement. Because of my incessant deficient behavior at home, my mother drove me to Juvenile Hall near Twin Peaks one night when I was only five years old. Sitting in the car outside the detention facility, we negotiated the terms of expected behavior before returning home. In third grade, having earned a poor grade on a math test, I attempted to forge my mother’s signature on the test paper which had been sent home for my parents to see and sign. My effort to deceive my 74-year-old teacher was less than successful. And when I thought I would bring some excitement to the neighborhood by calling in a false alarm to the fire department one day after school,… well,… let’s just say that I learned that my father’s S.F.F.D. uniform belt could serve more than one purpose.

    Needless to say, there were many years when, in the days leading up to Christmas, I had little expectation of finding any gifts for me under our family Christmas tree.

    Fortunately, my behavior improved considerably as I got older. I still pulled a few stunts that were ill-advised, but I managed to stay out of any big trouble. Now, as I approach the age of 70, I’m fairly confident that my conduct will have no negative repercussions on Christmas morning. Still, though, I’m curious about the exact meaning of the word naughty.

    It’s been a few years since my last visit with Santa Claus, and since I don’t have any desire to get back in line at the local mall to see him, I thought it best to simply refer to the dictionary for clarification. The words associated with naughty were alarming: “disobedient, mischievous (used especially in speaking to or about children), improper, tasteless, indecorous, indecent, wicked, evil.” That’s quite a list! Do any of those terms relate to how I live my life in 2023? I certainly hope not.

    I am not perfect. I have my flaws. I make poor choices from time to time. Generally speaking, however, I’m fairly confident that no one would think to use the word naughty to describe me. I just wonder if this is a good thing… or not.

  • B-r-e-a-t-h-e!

    “The forest holds answers to
    questions we have yet to ask.”
    Surinamese Proverb

    Go to a forest (or grove, or park,…). Leave your cell phone in the car. Walk slowly. Open all your senses and take in the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings around you. Breathe deeply. This is the healing experience of Shinrin-yoku.

    In the Japanese language, shinrin means “forest.” Yoku apparently has several meanings, depending upon the context. Here it refers to “bathing or basking in.” So Shinrin-yoku can be understood to mean “taking in, using all of our senses, the forest atmosphere.” 

    While many experiences in Japanese culture are centuries old, this practice was introduced in 1982, when the Forest Agency of the Japanese government introduced a program to encourage Japanese citizens to get out into nature where they could “bathe” the mind, body and soul in the sacredness of the forest. Approximately 64% of Japan is occupied by forest land, so opportunities for Japanese citizens to access such an environment to engage in the practice of Shinrin-yoku are plentiful. 

    The question is: Why would the citizens of Japan want to participate in this practice? Simply put, forests are a valuable public health resource. Immersing oneself in a forest environment, even for brief periods of time, has healing potential. It can reduce psychological stress, minimize symptoms of depression and hostility, and improve one’s sleep. The experience can also lower one’s pulse and blood pressure. Engaging in the practice of Shinrin-yoku can lower the production of stress hormones, elevate mood states, and increase immune system strength. 

    While the practice of Shinrin-yoku can certainly be traced to Japan, the concept of seeking healing in a forest environment is not unique to the Japanese. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote:

    “It is not so much for its beauty
    that the forest makes a
    claim upon men’s hearts,
    as for that subtle  something,
    that quality of air,
    that emanation from old trees,
    that so wonderfully changes
    and renews a weary spirit.”

    It is providential that our home is bordered on two sides (north and west) by redwood trees. I often sit outside and savor the experience of mindfully appreciating these gifts. I also live just 20 minutes by car from Hakone Gardens, an 18-acre traditional Japanese garden in Saratoga. It is one of the hidden gems of the Santa Clara Valley. 

    I’m grateful for the opportunity to spend time in nature  — and for the awareness of the Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku. The experience is nothing less than sacramental.